I need help. How do I overcome the beginning?

[TessaLee]

So, my biggest problem with exercising is that honestly? I'm just bad at it. When I'm running or walking on the treadmill or outside, or wherever I am, actually, as soon as my legs start to hurt for more than a minute or if my heart feels like it's going to explode because it's going too fast, I just slow down or stop, or worse... I cut it short. It makes me feel "not normal", I guess. I don't know how else to explain it. I've struggled with anxiety most of my adult life, so I guess what I feel when I start working out just reminds me of what it feels like to have an anxiety attack... I don't know... I'm not sure if that even makes any sense.

The one time I decided to persevere through a foot cramp (I usually stop when it starts to cramp, and that's like.. after 15-30 minutes or so), and it was a bad choice, because as soon as I was done and in the locker room, my foot seized up. I could barely walk on it and it hurt soooo much to even move any of my toes for the next 3 hours. So I've not had any good experiences with "working through the pain".

Maybe I'm discouraged because I see the people working out in the gym in the movies. They don't look like they're struggling. They're just running like normal, except with a shiny, sweaty face. That's not even just in the movies either. When I'm entering or exiting the gym, you've got people just happily moving about on these machines, listening to their iPods or whatever, and just consistently running for 30 minutes or an hour. I can barely walk that long. Why do I suck so much? Is there something I'm doing inherently wrong?

I don't like to think I'm alone in this. It's the same concept as the kid who struggles taking a test, and looks around the room to only be disappointed because they see the other kids just filling in answers without struggling too much. I feel like I'm the only person in the room that can't exercise, and I don't know why.

More importantly, how do I get past this sense of... whatever the hell it is....? Any advice is great. I'm trying to get fit for my wedding in December, and I'm only 40lbs overweight. But even more so, I want to live a healthy life where I can make exercising part of my lifestyle.

[cylon]

I'm sorry to hear that's been your experience, and no you're not alone.  It sounds like you need to first find something active that you enjoy doing.  It can be anything from walking, swimming, play sports, you name it. Just move.  I bet once you find that one thing it will open up other doors to keep you moving. 

I do enjoy running, so when i do it, even if it's hard, i enjoy it.  That enjoyment helps push me through the hard times and frequent injuries.  

Hope this helps. Good luck. 

[WendyB]

To me it sounds like you don't like walking or running. The key to any exercise is that you enjoy it.

Try different things until you find something you do like

Swimming

Biking

Golf

They are also many DVD out there maybe you can rent some from your library

Im sure others will have more ideas.

[eandersen]

Put on some headphones and listen to dance music and just dance - you will get a good workout. Can do it while you clean 🙂

[Awe-]

Greets. I have 3 suggestions:

1.) While watching TV, use the commercial breaks to step.  Try 50 steps per commercial break.  When I watch Hulu, I can easily get 500-600 steps per commercial break.  Start slow and then add steps each day to your commercial breaks. While washing dishes, brushing your teeth, standing in the grocery line...step in place.  You'd be surprise how many steps you can rack up whilst walking in place.

2.) It helped me to constantly sync so that I could see progress.  I find that even the slightest uptick in step count motivates me to challenge my current "crunch stepping".  And this is a little insight into my crazy, but AFTER the last sync of the night, I try to crank out steps necessary to get me to the next closest *100th step count.

3.) Yoga. Please pick up a Yoga DVD that interests you. Try to stay with the instructor for at least 15 mins every morning. As your comfort level increases, you might want to join a Yoga Class (yikes!). Scientists confirm that only 15 minutes of yoga practice increased GABA activity and improved telomere health. And that's just a few of the benefits yoga has on the brain! 

Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.

[pidgeon92]

I can relate. I hate exercising. I hate feeling winded. I hate feeling like I'm overheating. Been like this since I was a kid. Which explains why I was the fat kid (well, that and my love of chocolate and potato chips). Always picked last for anything in gym class.

Back in 2011, I went to my doctor for my yearly physical, and he told me that I was very healthy, but with my sedentary lifestyle I would likely have a heart attack by the time I was 50. I was 43 at the time, and that prospect didn't appeal to me. I was about 160lbs at the time. Not huge, but certainly overweight and it wasn't due to my finely honed musculature. I was fat. My posture was atrocious (I didn't realize it at the time). I looked about ten years older than my actual age. And frankly, I didn't feel good.

I went to my local neighborhood gym and got a membership there. I started out slowly on the treadmill and set up three appointments with a personal trainer there. I met with him once a week for those three weeks, and I didn't like him. Not at all. He was pushy, and I thought unpleasant. At the end of the third session, I told him I was done. He said no, you need to keep going. I signed up for a few more sessions, and things got better. We talked, he pushed, and ultimately I owe my much better health and eventual weight loss to him. He didn't let me quit, and he encouraged me to do more and more. He also stopped me from doing things he knew wouldn't be compatible with my interests/abilities. I left that gym, and don't train with him anymore, but I'll never forget what he did for me.

With almost 4 years of 4-6 days a week at the gym doing classes and other things, I might appear to be one of those people that exercise comes easily to. There are certainly some things that are much easier than they were when I started. Mostly I still struggle. I still have many week areas. I can only do 2-3 proper pushups, and I'm done. I can't do a pull-up to save my life.

The worst thing for me has always been cardio. Walking is fine. Jogging is a nightmare. I started doing a weekly boot camp class 7 weeks ago, and a big part of that class is running around the indoor track at our gym. I tried as hard as I could to keep up with the class (all of whom were at least ten years my junior and in far better condition) around the track, and I was rather disheartened at the end of that first class. My lungs hurt so bad when it was over, and they still hadn't quite recovered the next morning. 

I'd been meaning to try out a couch-to-5K program for the last couple of years. I even purchased the app and downloaded it to my phone two years ago. I just never got to it. After that first boot camp class, I decided at my age it was now or never, so I started it that next week. The first week was so hard. The first day was 6 one-minute runs (let's be real and call them slow jogs) with one and a half minute walks in between. I thought I was going to die, I was heaving so badly. I couldn't fathom having to run two minutes in a row, much less five, 10, 20 or 30. But I'll be **ahem**ed if the program doesn't work. I'm now on Week 6 (of 😎 and this week I've done ten minute runs twice on two different days. It's still not pleasant, I don't enjoy it, but criminy, I did it. The terrible heaving pain is gone. Saturday I will do my first 15 minute run, and while I'm not looking forward to it, I'm confident that I will complete it. And I'm confident that in two weeks, I will be able to do 30. Additionally, the running in my boot camp classes has become tolerable. I'm now mostly able to keep up with the group, I don't stop half way in between laps and watch them run around the track while I'm struggling to get my breath back. It still takes me longer to recover than it takes them, but I'm improving every week.

After all that rambling, my point is, keep with it. Some things will get easier. Some will always be hard (or seem that way). Some days will be better, and some will be worse. If running is something that interests you, I strongly encourage you to try the couch-to-5K program. It's very forgiving, you can take it at your own pace, doing one or more weeks multiple times if that's what you need.The one I use is called 5K runner, I find it's a little easier than some of the others which really rev it up in week 5. 

And please, take the time to stretch, it will help with the pain and the cramping. I find basic stretching useful, and I find foam rolling to be indispensable for dealing with/preventing muscle pain. For your feet, get a tennis ball and/or a lacrosse ball and roll your feet out on those. 

[Tazadof]

Hi Tessa,

I guess I’ve never had a problem with exercise, and have always been active, but that doesn't mean I’ve had it easy all the time, I just stopped once and I got fat, well fat for me, well over the 230lb mark, now I’m back down to 190lb.

I exercise because I enjoy it and having kids makes it both harder and easier, I want to be around for them and active when I’m older.  I see my friends and people in the street and wonder how they got to where they are now and why don’t they do something about it, life’s a precious thing and no matter what I believe, I’m pretty sure I’m only going to get one shot at it in this body and I want to make the most of it.

We do family walks on the weekend if we can, that includes a 3 and a 7 year old, it’s nice to get out and away from the city, I go to the gym after work 3 or 4 times a week for 30-40 mins.  I also do a Parkrun on the Saturday when I can and I walk at lunchtime while reading my kobo, its only 20 mins, but it’s nice to just to get out of the office and away from it all for a break and some clean air.

I got an injury two weeks back trying to do to much in preparation for the Bridge to Brisbane, so the physio tells me I’m off running for 3 weeks or more, but I can still do the lunch time walks, the gym, the family breaks, and I started using the elliptical (X-Trainer) at home to workout while I listen to/play Zombies, Run! on my iPhone, it’s a lot of fun and takes your mind off the exercise.

All I can suggest is that you just keep going and don’t ever give up; every step you take is one more towards your goal. Be careful with what you eat but don’t get fanatical about it, and take it easy, if it starts to hurt when you run, just walk for a minute or two then try running again.  If you need anything, just message me, even if its just some morale support, add me as a friend to give yourself someone to chat with and compete against, it makes exercise something fun to do and I’m sure you’ll look beautiful on your wedding day.

Take Care, Kind Regards

[sdoterror]

Hi Tessa,

I sympathise. I tried the cardio thing for years, spin classes and 60min jogs, and saw no results. I really found it hard to keep going through fatigue and burning lungs despite regularly working out. Since I wasn't getting results it was all too easy to skip workouts.

Over the last eight weeks I've committed to a beginner's bodybuilding programme (followed by 20mins jogging and eating at a 500cal deficit) and this is the first time I've seen real results. The results have sped up since I've really started using challenging weights. I have maintained the same body fat percent but I've lost a solid 3.5kg (about 8lbs) and I look much better overall because the muscle provides shaping (scaffolding) for the fat I still have. My resting heart rate has dropped by 10bpm and the extra strength in my legs is making cardio easier (I think because I have more push off the ground). Because I'm getting tangible results I'm in a positive feedback loop where I'm keen to exercise because I want to keep building my results.

What I find most surprising is that my posture is correcting itself. I've always had pigeon toes and a forward tilted hip. I mistakenly thought this was permanent since trying to use correct posture hurt. Practicing correct form during lifts has strengthened the muscles needed to maintain correct posture.

The point I really want to make is that weight training doesn't have the same barrier to benefit that cardio has. It's unlikely that you'll end up red faced and overly sweaty :).

[milana07]

Don't be discouraged and remember what your intention is when it comes to excercising in the first place....to be feel better and probably to be healthier.  Just moving more helps you achieve this goal.  You mentioned that you have struggled with anxiety...think of what helps you manage this and apply some of those strategies to trying to become more comfortable with excercising.  I find that accepting how I feel about something is important (I also feel very uncomfortable in a gym setting) and then setting really small realistic goals for me (not for anyone else) helps.  I guess my point is that if all you can do right now is walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes that is better than nothing.  Maybe you need to get out of the gym and go for a walk with a friend in your neighbourhood?  Be creative and start slow but most of all don't be so hard on yourself.  Think of what you would say to someone you really cared about that was feeling exactly how you are...I bet you would have wonderful advice, be way more supportive of them and kinder than you are to yourself.  Don't let yourself quit just focus on setting yourself up for successes that are small to build on!  Good Luck...I'm trying to practice what I preach as well!  

[Rainafterthesun]

It's perfectly normal; not just with weight loss but lots of other things like starting your own business, learning a new craft, etc.

Think about what the gains would be. Yes, you may feel self conscious but like others mentioned, they most likely wouldn't pay attention to you as much as you fear they will. FEAR is false evidence appearing real.

And the trade off for doing something scary, focus on that. How nice it would be to wear certain clothes you may not have before getting fit. How you would have more energy and higher endurance. The money you would save on medicinal costs by taking the initiative to do preventative care.

Lastly, we are our own biggest critics. you may see yourself in a harsher light than others and not realize it.

I hope you take those first steps, and continue to do so, keeping in mind all the things you'll gain. So when times get tough, it can be your motivation.

[Rainafterthesun]

Btw congratulations! Maybe the wedding dress can be a source of motivation?

[backlash79]

Maybe start slower like the beginner protocol listed on the Run Walk run website

http://www.jeffgalloway.com/training/beginners/

[DominicJ]

Work out where you are now

Work out where you want to be then

Work out the route you need to follow to get there

My first 5k six months ago took me over 37 minutes.

My most recent under 27 minutes.

Run a 5k at your speed, no matter slow

Next run it 0.1kph faster

Working through the pain is a great way to injure yourself

[SuperStephSteph]

I'm right there with you girl, running/jogging is the WORST. I definitely agree that you should try to find something that you enjoy, for instance for me I love love love Zumba. I know that I'm working just as hard as if I were jogging, and when I think about it I know that I'm just as winded and tired as if I were jogging, but because I'm ejoying myself I don't care. 

You should also know that when you hit a wall if you push past it the entire workout will be a lot easier. When I do Zumba, or yoga I tend to hit a wall around the 20 minute mark where I just want to quit because I'm exhausted but if I can push through for the next 5-10 minutes the rest of the class is really easy. Figure out where your wall is and try your best to bust it. 

The other thing I wanted to mention is that if you're having cramping when you're working out you're probably not drinking enough water. Make sure that you're really hydrated prior to your workout, and that you're drinking water while you're working out and you shouldn't have cramping issues anymore. 

Good luck, and congrats on the engagement! 

[LerxstOhio]

Hi Tessa,

First, congrats on the wedding!

Second...  I know how you are feeling.  I had been really blah about doing any sort of exercise and had just gained and gained.  What got me moving was actually a weight loss competition at work.  My competitive side helped keep me going.  But I had to start small.  I started walking, but for short periods - about 15 minutes at most.  I kept at it and added more time to my walks. 

In the beginning, I would get shin splints if I walked too far too fast.  And I used to get winded just going up a flight of stairs.  Now - well, I walked/jogged almost 5 miles the other day and it felt great!  Today I did about 4.3 miles... 

If you can try to do a 15 minute walk every day and keep at it, that will build up your strength and ability to walk longer.

Two big things to do: 1. get GOOD shoes with good arch and heel support.  I have plantar fasciitis in my right heel, and without good heel support, I'd be crying by the half mile mark.  2. Grab your MP3 player and earbuds and listen to your favorite music or podcast or whatever.  It really helps you to not focus on the walk... 

Also - remember to hydrate before and after any walks.  🙂

Hope that helps!  Keep going; you can do it!!

Holly

[loveabull]

If you can, get you a dog. I've always been active but seeing those big soulful eyes when I get home...two bull breeds, extra five miles to my daily steps easy...No a Pom won't do it.

[FLRobin]

Oh Tessa, I completely understand!  Anxiety can be crippling.  More than once, I've "known" that I was going to die.  Which obviously I didn't...  But in that moment, I was completely paralyzed with fear.

Many folks will say you need to find something you enjoy.  Well, there are those of us who just don't enjoy activity.  I'm one of them!  Given a choice, in just about any situation, I'd rather sit.  I hate being sweaty.  I don't like to feel my heart pound, or breathe heavily.

But sitting is not healthy, so I basically force myself to get moving.  I joined a boot camp style gym in February and was totally honest wtih the trainer about my fears.  It was really, really hard in the beginning, and most of the time when I got to the point where I felt like I was gasping for breath or my heart was pounding, I'd stop for at least a few minutes.  

What I found was that just doing the exercise to the point that I was uncomfortable (the fear was more overwhelming than the gasping for air) was actually making me more fit.  I didn't even realize it at first, but one day I realized that I was able to do more before reaching that point.  

An example would be climing on Jacob's Ladder.  It's a climber treadmill and it's brutal.  It first I was struggling to do 50 feet on it.  Now I can do 125!  I just pushed myself to the point that I didn't think it was safe (although in reality, it was); each week that was a little more than the week before.

I've lost 24 lbs, with about 50 to go.  I go to class 4 days a week and make sure to get in at least one long walk, where I am feeling slightly out of breath and lasts 45 minutes or so, over the weekend.

You can do it.  I know you can because I have.  

A couple of last comments.  Not only for the anxiety attacks during exercise, but for any anxiety attack:  Sometimes, you have to let it happen rather than try to stave it off.  You'll see that nothing awful that you imagined happening came to be.  You'll be okay.  And after a few times of finding yourself okay when you didn't expect to be, you might just find that you have them less.  

Don't discount medication.  Don't feel like you have to manage this without help.  For a long time, I wouldn't take anything, but finally my doctor asked me, if I had diabetes, would I refuse insulin?  Of course not. He used a couple of other examples, also.  What it boiled down to was, if I had a medical condition, I would take the appropriate medicine.  Anxiety and panic attacks ARE a medical condition, and you shouldn't hesitate to treat them as such.

You have my very best wishes.

[Paradise555]

I feel the same way. I tend to think about exercising as a game and losing weight as a "reward", in fact losing weight is a reward. For me I started off slow and built my way up from pretty much the same hurdles as you have been experincing. Know what, I still am facing those hurdles and setbacks. As long as I keep moving and a snail's pace, it seems like that is all that counts. Could you ask your family and friends for support and encouragement?? It sure helps a long way.

[smileybrit]

Hello,

I understand how frustrating losing weight can be, I have been losing weight since january of this year and just got a fitbit flex in the beginning of March. I also am getting fit for health reasons and have episodes of anxiety. You are never alone. It is a good idea to vary your workout as it can become boring after a while. I do 40 mins in the gym and 40 mins swimming. In the gym, i vary what machines i use each visit also. Listening to upbeat music is good as it distracts you from how you are feeling.

When I first started, I felt so self conscious as people older than me could do much more than I could, (which was extremely embarrasing). However, The mind is a powerful thing and it is important to stay positive and keep focussed. I would focus on how good I felt after exercising and its ok to reward yourself once in a while. If you go to the gym mon - fri then have a treat on sat. Remind yourself why you are doing this when it gets hard. As far as comparing yourself to others, just think you have your own fitness journey and other people have theirs. Listen to your body and when it tells you you've had enough, take a break. You will find each time you exercise you will be able to do more and more.

I hope this is helpful.

[SunsetRunner]

I agree with a lot of people here. 

I had issues with motivation since I moved away from the area where my gym was, and I couldn't find a gym I liked. Since I moved on again I found a gym environment I like, equipment I like and classes I enjoy doing. 

Don't force yourself to do something you don't enjoy. It will never last. 

Try some things out, join a gym that has lots of classes and people you can train with. Talk to a personal trainer at your gym about alternatives. When you find the types of activities you like doing you will want to keep doing it. 

Keeping fit can be fun, but it's different for everyone. 

By the way, I don't enjoy running on a treadmill for an hour either. But I have enjoyed Body Pump, and Metafit, HIIT, Pilates/yoga etc. and I'm getting a lot out of that.