See Something, Say Something or Mind Your Own Business?

[emili]

Today at the gym after my workout, I was on the treadmill getting my steps in and looking around the gym. I noticed an older gentleman that I have never seen before working out. At one point he was doing a move that for sure can result in injury because of how he was doing it. There were several people around him, they had to notice, but no one did anything. I also, did not get off the treadmill and walk over to help. Which got me thinking, what is proper gym etiquette? If you see someone doing something wrong, do you say something or do you turn your music up and go the none of my business route?

[WavyDavey]

Hi @emili,

This is an awesome question. I have to go the route of "mind my own business", as painful as that can be for the helper in me. (A common CC trait, eh?)

I find people in general, and especially gym environments, don't like to be told what to do. We all have the option of reading books, watching videos, getting personal training or just performing exercises safely. Some choose otherwise.

It's sad because I've seen a number of injuries about-to-happen and then happen in front of my eyes. I saw a guy destroy his patner's elbows by improperly teaching her how to perform barbell cleans with too heavy a weight.  Never saw her back again.

But the more I see, the more it seems appropriate to just get back to my workout and let them do the same. A strength training forum I visit actually has a dedicated thread on the subject where you can post stories about these people about to injure themselves, as a kind of therapeutic release. 😄

[WendyB]

I agree with @WavyDavey When I belonged to a gym I saw several people try to help a person and they didn't like being told.

But the sad thing I think as most all gyms offer a Free training session but they dont come right out and say it you need to ask. I asked when I first went and it helped a lot just to learn the machines alone.

Also people dont realize whats available to them at YouTube and in books. 

[russsss]

Hi Elena 🙂   i have  been that person that you speak of and someone did offer some advice which I had the sense to listen to but the situation was a little different as I had been a member there for 4 years at the time and being smaller place with a core of "regulars" we all at least said hello to each other on a regular basis  

The problem for me is this ... I would no doubt do exactly what you did and have done exactly that but now i'm rethinking that ...  if I saw that same person about to walk into traffic would I stop them even though they may resent the attempt and tell me to mind my own business ... yes I would act, as would you no doubt, as would most people ... granted the difference between a torn ligament or pulled muscle and becoming road kill is huge but still ... no answers here, no suggestions, just more questions 

However... I did get the name right this time lol 

[SunsetRunner]

On the other hand, if someone came to me giving me advice and probably saving me from injury - well, why not? We ALWAYS learning. There is always room for another mistake and I'd rather not to get injured. However, I understand why people hesitate to help if not asked directly. The term "gymtimidation" didn't appear out of nowhere. People are scared to join a gym because they're afraid doing things wrong and become a "theatre of fun" for other goers. Then imagine, somebody actually comes and points that you do something incorrectly. What may be actually beneficial for us when done out of good will, we reject out of our inner fears. I was like that, too. Now? If you see I may get hurt let me know ASAP - that's my message 🙂

Not sure what I would do seeing someone doing something dangerous but to be on the safe side, I would probably speak to one of the personal trainers wandering around ( there are plenty of them in my gym ), as they have more authority and as the staff, they should respond to any dangerous situation that is about to turn bad in the place they work. So maybe that's the way - report to the staff. Any accident in the gym is a trouble for employees - they may be less hesitant to prevent it.

[emili]

@russsss..you sure did..😁

Thank you all for the dialogue...it's one of those things that we know the right thing, but the struggle remains is it the right thing for that person, situation, etc 

[GershonSurge]

Same concept, but different setting. You see that pepperoni pizza is on the local school lunch menu but have no children in school. In fact, all the choices have 30% fat and meat and dairy. The children are all forced to take a carton of  milk even if they toss it in the trash.  All the meals are free.

[WendyB]

@russsssYou make a very good point!

[USAF-Larry]

Very good analysis, @russsss.  Long ago, in land far away, when I was a member of the local gym I spotted an older lady that was trying to use the treadmill, but she was very unsteady and had the belt going faster than she could walk which was causing her to move back towards the end of the belt.  I suggested to her that she might want to slow down the treadmill a little until she got more used to it. She was offended, to put it politely.  Rather than letting her get hurt, I notified the staff about it who looked at it on the video and saw what was happening - he then took the necessary steps to slow her down and show her how to hold on to steady herself.  Meanwhile, I went off to use the ellipticals.....

[WendyB]

@USAF-LarryGood way to go about it! I would probably do the same if I belonged to a gym

[WavyDavey]

I've been on the flip side of this issue twice in the last year. Both times, someone approached me to "correct" my squat form.

The first person said I was squatting incorrectly because the bar was resting on my shoulders. When I asked them if they squatted high bar or low bar, the look on their face told me they had no idea of which they were speaking.

The second person actually interrupted me in the middle of a rep on front squats, to tell me my rack position was incorrect. I'm pretty sure that guy was just being a jerk, or maybe he was so ignorant he didn't realize it's dangerous to interrupt like that?

The takeaway point I got was that folks who try to help this way, aren't necessary knowledgeable or helpful. They can be, but not necessarily. Be cautious in taking advice.

[Daves_Not_Here]

I think it's a two step process - (1) decide if what you see is truly dangerous, i.e., very likely to cause serious injury, and if so (2) be gentle in your approach, acknowledging its intrusiveness, something like:

"Hey, how's it going?  Hey, I really hesitate to say anything to you because the last thing people want is unsolicited advice from some guy in the gym.  But I'd feel terrible if I didn't say anything for fear of offending you and then you ended up getting hurt, knowing I could have said something.  <then you wait for them to express curiosity / invite you to communicate further>  the exercise you are doing, I'm familiar with, and I've known a couple of people who tore their ACL when they did it like you are doing it.  Again, I hate to say anything, I'll shut and mind my own business if you want."

So you risk offending someone with a constructive observation politely made in good faith, so what?  Personally, I would appreciate it if someone helped me avoid an injury, so I see it as the golden rule.