Up until 8 years ago, I have always been active. It was never 'exercise' for me...it was 'fun'. I trained for and ran marathons for fun. I would swim a mile on my lunch hour for fun. I commuted 10 miles to work on my bike for fun. I studied ballet because the shoes were fun...martial arts because the uniform, yelling, kicking was all fun. I was a natural at yoga and had been practicing yoga and pilates long before I even knew it was called yoga and pilates.
Eight years ago, I hit a wall. I found myself wanting to interact more with my 'friends' in video games than I did with Real Life. Hence, I started sitting on my arse more and more. My passion for cooking was compromised by dungeon runs and guild events. I started eating 'quick food' quickly instead of choosing to prepare and relish healthier meals. For example, I would roll a cup of spaghetti into a tortilla just so I could eat with one hand while playing a video game with the other. FTL (for the lose)
About five years ago and 85 pounds heavier, I noticed I was depressed. I tried to lose the weight by being 'active'. But being active now meant exercise. Worse yet, no amount OR type of exercise came easy. Even walking was difficult, boring and meaningless. I was not only overweight, I was also out of shape. Compound that with depression meant that the mere mention of leaving the house to do mundane tasks such as, grocery shopping. became overwhelming. Interacting with anyone either online or real life was a challenge for me. I was indifferent to everything.
August 2014, my sister bought a FitBit Flex for me. I spent the next six months in denial. I wore my FitBit everyday but I wasn't consistent with making effort to walk, much less syncing and inputting my daily food, water, or exercise data. My biggest frustration was that NOTHING was easy anymore. Being active no longer meant fun. The whole FitBit thing was like work.
In February 2015, I challenged myself to one week of:
1-making effort to hit my 10,000 daily steps
2-keeping my daily caloric intake under 1400k and my water intake to 60+ oz
3-preparing healthy meals instead of eating out.
4-saying thank you for everything from morning til night (increase gratitude)
At the end of this week, I found myself incensed. Livid. Nothing came easy. I continually felt I wasn't doing enough, especially when I was unable to hit all four goals everyday. Can anyone say, "unrealistic, much?" I knew I was being unrealistic which made me even more angrier. (Angrier, is that even a word? It shouldn't be.) But I still kept trying, in spite of this anger.
Fast forward a couple of months, I have lost some weight, feel better and am eating healthier. However, I am still not hitting my goals everyday. In fact, it's a good week when I can get ONE DAY of 10,000 steps. But the difference now is that I've accepted this. I now understand people who find it hard to exercise. I now have compassion for people who are dieting and understand their frustrations for how difficult it is to lose weight. But the most important CHANGE that has happened to me by wearing a FitBit is that I am not judging others...as much...in fact, I notice that when I see/meet people for the first time, I find something about them that I like. And for me, that's cool. I'm cool. I'm a cooler version of myself for wearing a FitBit.
