body positivity and radical self-love

[ericajoy]

Hello FitBit Community!  I am brand new here; just started using a fitbit flex this week to change what has become my increasingly sedintary lifestyle.  I used to be active, but much of my activity was forced to keep myself in shape to deflect societal and self-judgement.  I decided to stop dragging my body around like a hunk of meat and to only exercise if it was fun.  AND... I stopped moving.  I am now trying to work on healing my relationship to health and exercise and my own body.  I am attempting to embrace joyful movement and joyful living. 

In seeking folks to walk with, I wrote a post on Facebook about my activity and weightloss goals, and one of the responses that came back was about the Body Positive movement and radical self-love.  I've heard about these things, but when it comes to fitness and exercise, diet and body image, I have some deep ruts to escape to make a change.  What does Body Positive and radical self-love mean to you?  

I know for me, the hardest part of being active is the shame I am afraid of experiencing in failing -- specifically being a fat woman failing -- afraid of being the target of other people's judgement and disgust and ridicule as I have seen it in the movies -- afraid of facing that walking has become a high intensity workout for me when I used to be fit and have ego wrapped up in that.  So in fearing others I have shamed myself into non-activity and the more sedintary I become, the more resistance I have to movement.  Isn't there a law of physics about that 🙂  

How have you created radical self-love, body positivity, and resilience in the face of judgement, rejection, and negativity in your life?  How have you embraced joyful movement and let go of using willpower alone to force movement that isn't fun or fullfilling?  Do you have favorite bloggers, authors, etc that help you to refocus on these things when you get distracted?  

And if you are interested in exploring and thriving in joyful movement and would like a fitbit friend to share with, let's connect!

[LaTonya]

Hi Erica,

I learned years ago that shame doesn't serve me. I also heard a speaker (woman) say that what other people think of me is none of my business. Based on your post, I think you get the context and intent here.

I honestly don't care if other people approve of my body or my choices. If they do, that's nice, but it's not necessary. I am responsible for my own health and body, and I'm too busy to meeting my own needs to care if others are judging me. I dance and talk to myself on the treadmill, I sing at the top of my lungs in the garage when I'm getting my workout on walking the floors and stairs.

I'm older, happier and healthier and glad to celebrate with you on your path to self-love and acceptance.

Be well,

[Manticone]

 I can be insanely hard on myself, so I guess for me...being kind to yourself is about how you would treat someone close to you, that you cared about. You'd be supportive of them, wouldn't you? 🙂 Of course you would 🙂 But we rarely extend that same kindness to ourselves.

I've never been overweight, but that doesn't mean I haven't been hard on myself. I used to run (did long distance in school), take Karate, swimming, soccer, gymnastics...and several of those activities I did at the same time (in short, I was always fairly active). But I have ligament/ knee problems and a couple years ago I really hurt my right knee. In short, it cut down - markedly - how much I could do, activity-wise.

I remember saying ''stupid knee!'' and getting irritated with myself. I also got mad at my stomach for ulcers/ gastritis. I didn't think ''be kind to your stomach, it's hurting'' - I just got irritated. Because it was ''slowing me down.'' I used to be that way about everything. If I studied, and got an A instead of an A+, I'd be irritated with myself. I used to be on Reach for the Top in HS, and if I didn't get a question right (that I knew...I knew...maybe impulsively answered?), I'd beat myself up for days.

So really, I think it comes down to giving ourselves permission to not do everything perfectly. And to be extra kind to ourselves when sick/ run down. NOT pushing ourselves when wounded. I mean, most of us wouldn't push a friend or an animal through pain, right? We'd be extra careful and kind to someone in pain, I think.

In a nutshell, I guess, it's about being kinder to myself and treating my body as breakable (and fallible) and therefore, having more patience with myself.