Being real to myself~

[AmandaMarieMoor]

Can I just be real for a min? I would like to be real and say that years ago I use to have a "different" opinion about overweight people. I use to think it was their fault for not losing the weight and that it was their fault for gaining it all as well. I'd hate to get stuck walking behind heavy people because of how slow they were and would get frusterated and angry when I saw big people in line at the grocery store or restaurant. I'd think to myself "Do you really need to be here as bad as I do?". Yes, I was weighcist! Now that the tables have turned I think that I can't help but beat myself up! I thank you all for your kind words, telling me to take it slow and not put too much pressure on myself but that's all I know. I don't even know how I ever developed that attitude. My parents weren't ever really that way. At least I don't remember if they were. Now I a think "How dare I?" Now that I know what it feels like in the "big-people" shoes.

[JohnRi]

Hi Amanda, It's funny, I'm kind of the opposite in some ways.  I guess because I've been overweight for most of my adult life.  When I was younger, I would see obese people, and I'd wonder how they got there.  I'd see people who weight 400, or even 500 lbs. eating a dozen donuts, and think "REALLY!"  I knew how I had gotten fat.  I ate poorly, and I ate too much.  Simple.  Looking back I wonder why I never did anything about it.  And then it occured to me, why are so many people fat?  Is that the real reason, people just don't think about it?  I watched my clothes get bigger and bigger.  I remember thinking when I went from XL to XXL shirts that I should lose weight.  I remember back in 2007 when I lost some weight, my 40 inch pants were lose... Then I gained 60 lbs, and was wearing 42 inch pants....  Simply because I didn't care or want to lose the weight.  I frankly didn't give a **ahem**.  It's one thing to have a passing thought to want to lose weight, it's a whole another thing to actually do something about it.

I avoided getting my physical for about 7 years.  Partly being busy, but mostly because I didn't want to hear the truth.  I was too fat, and that I needed to lose weight.  It was far too easy to sit back and ignore the whole issue.

It's wasn't until I finally had the physcial, and was suddenly on three drugs to help deal with all the issues my weight was causing, that I finally said, it's time.

Now that I'm down 41 lbs, with a long road ahead of me with 56 more to go just to get into the range of normal weight...   I learned a number of things.  Anyone can lose weight.  But it's hard.  Everyone responds to changes in diet differently, exercise works better for some than others.  What you eat, how much you eat, when you eat are all 80% of weight loss.  And weight loss takes time.  It took time to gain the weight, it will take time to lose it.

I see so many people get discouraged on the weight loss road.  Myself included.  I did a 5k this weekend.  My first.  I WAS 240 Saturday morning before the 5K.  I ended up walking over 12 miles, 25000 steps, over 4500 calories burned...  I ate about 1000 more calories than I normally do, but given the activity that day, I felt I needed it.  Sunday morning, I was now 242.5 lbs.  Talk about a huge demoralizing moment. 

And for a few moments, I was quite dumbfounded, and just not happy...  Then the words I use all the time, "Stick with the program" popped into my head, and I shrugged it off.  Back down to 241.2 today... 

Later on I saw pictures from the 5k, and all I saw in those pictures was how FAT I still was.  In an instant the positive, I DID A 5K.  I DID A 5K in record time for me too!  All of the positive gone in a heartbeat, by a simple picture showing me, yeah I still need to lose 56 more lbs...  I knew that.  But then I thought, imagine if I look that FAT NOW, what I must of have looked like at 281. 

There are always emotional moments to any weight loss plan.  Frustration of not being able to loss that last 10 lbs.  Not losing weight at all after 3 weeks of hard work...  The great suprise when the scale shows you lost a pound.

And after losing 41 lbs, more or less, I've learned that losing weight is hard both physically and emotionally.  And that's why so many people get fat, and stay fat.  It's quite frankly easier to stay fat.  That tripple cheeseburger feeds more than just the body, it feeds our emotions.  It makes us feel good having that big meal at Thanksgiving...  At Christmas...  At Easter...  On your birthday...  On the the third tuesday of every month...  Fridays....  Sundays.....  Before too long Everyday.... 

Now I look at people over weight, I watch them make those bad food choices, and I understand. 

But for me, I'm never going to be 281 again.  Soon I will never be 200 anything... 

But food is like drugs, or alcohol.  IF your hit rock bottom, and IF you want to change, you have to make that decision for yourself, and stick by it.  It's hard to imagine when you see someone 400 lbs, and you think they have to eat 5000-6000 calories a day to maintain that weight, and you think how?  Because they haven't made that decision.  And until they do, they are just going to get heavier.

I kind of pity obese people now, because I know what got me to be obese.  I also know what it took to get close to just being over weight, and I'm still obese.  It's a lifestyle change, it's a commitment to change, it's a determination to change.  And it's hard.

But even knowing that, when I see someone EATING a triplecheeseburger, I want to go talk to them and try to convince them to eat better.  I find myself telling everyone about my weight loss.  About how I got here.  I talk to people on here, I talk to my friends, I talk to my wife, I talk to my co workers.  I encourage everyone I can to make a change.  I heard one my co workers say something in the hall while talking to someone, they said "I want to be like John.  I'm trying to do portion control". 

I raised an eyebrow, and thought "WOW".  Another co worker got a fitbit, and another is using a Samsung activity band they got for FREE over a year ago when they upgraded their phone.  Another one of my high school friends started walking. 

And as proud I am of myself, I'm just as proud of them too.  I can't reach everyone, but I can reach some of them...  I hope they stick with it...