Help, husband giving up on fitness!

[100WasatchBack]

My husband is giving up on being active. He turned 40 last year and has gained around 60 pounds. He is extremly  frustrated and I have no idea how to help. Up until last month, he was still running 4-5 miles a day, lifting, and restricting his intake. He has always been a "clydesdale" and shot putter, but this has to be his largest ever. Despite my advice, he cut back his intake to 1,000cal per day for the past eight months. (I even think he went down to 500 for a while out of frustration.) When he hit 320pd a month ago, he got extremely depressed and no longer wants to hike, bike, or even go out anymore. I have not idea what to do!! 

I looked into a trainer for him, but we live in a resort town, so the average cost is around $350 per session. We even had the doctors take a look due to radiation treatment on his thyroid back in the 90's, but they just said he needed to cut back on the food. If anything, that is the one thing he can not do! He has always fluctuated 5-15 pounds a day as a result of the treaments as he cannot process salt, and is meticulous in watching his sodium. This weight gain came out of nowhere. At his prime, he was at 250, which was perfect for his 6.8 clydesdale build. 

Any thoughts or suggestions are needed. I am not liking where this is going. This is not the man I married anymore.

[Daves_Not_Here]

A lot of layers here - probably beyond the scope of what we non-professionals participating in this forum should try to answer.  I have some thoughts that I would tentatively suggest:

• Running 4 to 5 miles while eating 1,000 calories a day for 8 months, and gaining weight doesn't add up.  Something else is going on but it would be inappropriate for me to speculate as to what.
• Changes he makes will need to come internally.  Efforts on your part to "fix" him may be counterproductive
• Very gently - this is the man you married, with all his strengths and weaknesses.  He's still a 10 inside.  Not suggesting you become an enabler, but support and acceptance through this rough patch could help.

Good luck!

[AuroraKat]

You can't force someone into diet and fitness. It has to be internally motivated. 

I agree with @Daves_Not_Here that the numbers don't seem to add up. If your husband is willing, I'd recommend starting with accurately and honestly tracking his daily calorie intake. Don't make any changes right away, just start tracking to get accurate data as to what his daily intake is. Buy a food scale for accuracy - using measuring cups and "eyeballing" is not accurate (check out this video for a good visual as to why this is true - https://youtu.be/vjKPIcI51lU ). Once you have an idea of what his diet is like, you can start suggesting small changes to help reduce caloric intake. 

Fitness-wise, there's really nothing you can do to make him workout. But, you can try and schedule outdoor activities for both of you to enjoy together. Hiking, exploring local parks and/or beaches (as applicable) are all good alternatives to actual structured workouts. If he is not interested, then lead by example. If you already have a fitness regimen, stick with it - eventually he may be motivated by your progress to join in again.

Good luck!

[WavyDavey]

I appreciate your concern for your husband. As stated above, there's not a huge amount you can do about it directly.

I would recommend just reminding him how good he felt while exercising, and hope that seed takes hold.

Can you both exercise together somehow?