Labor Day to Halloween Challenge 2016

[Bobbinyc]

Welcome to the next Challenge!

This one will start on Labor Day and continue to Halloween, 2016.  That gives us 8 weeks to work toward our next set of goals as we try to lose weight or maintain in a healthy way.

Everyone is welcome to join this terrific group. You can post once weekly or every day - whatever you like - to share your journey, give and get support, offer advice, get some tips.  We have celebrated each other's successes, and empathized with the setbacks.  I personally found, the more I respond to others, the easier it is for me to focus on my own journey in a positive way.  We have seen great progress in previous challenges, because we are in it together and focusing on being healthier and living better lives.

Some of the terms used to report our weight:

USW - ultimate starting weight - the heaviest weight when you began to lose

SW - starting weight for this challenge

CW - current weight for the day you report in

GW - goal weight for this challenge, for Halloween

UGW - ultimate goal weight that you intend to reach eventually

Some people also include their height, their age, their BMI.  

All  you need to do to join, is start posting, usually with some of the weight information.

I'm very excited about continuing with this wonderful group of people and meeting some new folks too.

Thanks to dancefoxtrot for starting the last challenge.

See you here on Labor Day!

[_Lilac_]

@DJC_63 Space heater and drag it with you! Extension cord. I'm glad you live in a place that doesn't require heat or the pipes freeze and burst. 

[A_Lurker]

@_Lilac_ - although 22 pounds in 5 weeks is excellent progress, you may want to consider slowing down that loss down a bit.  Usually recommended weight loss is 1-2 lbs a week.  I know that initially sounds like the wrong thing to do, however, rapid loss can cause lots of stress on your body.  It sounds like your body is trying to tell you this in subtle, or not so subtle ways.  1700 calories may indeed be too low for you at your current weight, combined with your new activity level.  I'm still averaging just over 2lbs/week on 2500 calories.  As you get lighter you will eventually have to lower your calories.  Better to start higher so you don't need to drop them to unsustainable levels.  Try bringing your calories up a bit to 2000 a day for a week or two and see how you do.

[_Lilac_]

 @A_Lurker no worries, it has slowed down. I think that was mostly water loss at the beginning...And the shock of my new activity. I'd eaten only 600 calories by suppertime today so now I'm eating a heavier supper so I can get the daily calorie count up. Did another 11k steps in just walking today. Fourth day in a row I've made over 10k so I'm excited for the progress. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow so it'll be a rest day (sorta). The 1700 calories is based on looking at the burned calories and the 'left to eat' on the dashboard and I'm always between 750-1000 deficit. And I'm not hungry. If it was too little, I would suspect I'd be hungry or weak. I'm NOT starving myself, I'm eating a lot of food. I'm just eating a lot of fresh veggies, fruit, less bread, lean meats, beans, yogurts, etc. The health scare I had was caused by a medication the doctor had given me, so I'm off that. I feel a heck of a lot better! If there was a way to share my daily food diary, I'd be happy to do so with you, so you are assured I'm not hurting myself..haha. Not sure if there's a way. 

[RubyH]

Greetings all,

My commiserations to everyone who has been ill or has suffered the loss of family members at any time of year, it takes a lot of time to come to terms with lifes serbacks and roadblocks but we all have them and what gets us through is finding the one or two definite positives in every setback or trauma, they are always there, it is up to each of us to find these precious gems and hang on to them. My best wishes to you all, this is a tremendously supportive group to be a member of, bless you all.

I am back doing my three gym sessions a week and though my step count has fallen off, raining cats and dogs here, I am still maintaining my weight reasonably well, today at 55.1 kg or 121.5 lbs, which is pretty good for my height as i am only 5' 1" tall.  I bought myself a bicycle along with a little trailer for my pooch so we can enjoy rides together, it is an old school cycle with no gears, I have to do all the work myself but the weather is presently unkind, so hopefully soon I can get out and about, save some gas and earn myself some bonus active calories.

I can, you can, we can, lets do it together.

[A_Lurker]

@_Lilac_ - since we're friends I can see that your average calories burned are now around 3000 a day, that's why I suggested to increase your calories slightly.  Hunger won't necessarily be the cue.  Tiredness and feeling draggy can be your body trying to make you slow down a bit.  I can't speak for everyone, but I enjoy your posts, so I want you to take care.

[_Lilac_]

@A_Lurker Thanks for all your help. I am so glad to have such supportive people around me here at the fitbit forums. This group is wonderful.

[almost_where]

Labor Day - 290

Week 1 - 290

Week 2 - 287

Week 3 - 286

Week 4 - 284

Week 5 - 284

Week 6 - 280 CW

Halloween Goal -Original 275  Revised-Anything that begins with 27x

-4 lbs

Have a good Sunday everyone, @Bobbinyc Thanks for starting this challenge.

[Bobbinyc]

My family/friend stress has just increased again.  Between scary illnesses,  deaths from cancer, life-threatening accidents, sudden unemployment that lasted....my very tiny group of close people is struggling with life changing problems. Two of these people are only 30 years old.  Life is feeling a bit risky and vulnerable.   I really struggle to accept that life is fragile, and that means making the most of it while we can.  And doing all we can to be as strong as possible.  Some days that is just hard to do and I have trouble directing the stress in a positive way.  Yesterday I was especially worried and sad and was so tempted to just curl up and eat. Been there, done that, still paying the price.

But it isn't about how I feel at any time and letting that feeling take over.  If it was about how I feel, I'd never get anywhere now.  It is about doing what I need to do despite how I feel. It is about being so tired and stressed, angry, sad and hurt -  and doing the right thing for myself anyway.  Because that is my new promise to myself.

Fortunately, the weather was beautiful, I remembered how beautiful the air and the trees are now, so I dragged myself to a park.  And walked and walked and meditated until the stress moved to the side and I felt better.  I thought of you guys, how much you have been through and how you keep trying so hard - and how  much you succeed.  

And I thought about the two roads - one of illness, loss, pain, low energy  (the too familiar one) And one of resilience, vibrance, success, confidence. I have spent my life taking care of others and have neglected myself.  I promised myself I'd find a better balance. I repeated my mantras over and over while I walked. I do feel appreciative with each step that now I am able to walk, when I couldn't for some time.  

The sadness, fear, hurt and all the struggles don't move over easily.  But we owe it to ourselves and those we have loved and who have loved us, to fight for health and joy.

While walking, I suddenly ran into about 100 women and a few men, all dressed in pink.  I'd totally forgotten about the Breast Cancer 3 Day.  It's a 60 mile walk, 20 miles each day with sleeping in tents  at night.   I know some who have done it - it is grueling.  And fun, and life-affirming.  Some wore signs with the names of people who died from breast cancer, or those too sick to walk.  Some wore signs saying "I couldn't do this  last year, but here I am now!"

There was a beautiful full moon last night.  If the skies are clear near you, check it out tonight.  Native Americans have called it  The Moon of the Ripening.  It somehow helped me to know the same moon has been looked at by early tribes and now by people all over the world with all of their own struggles and joys. 

I have to remember to get out of my own head and look around.  It puts life into perspective.

Do something good for yourselves today.

Bobbi

[_Lilac_]

Thank you, @Bobbinyc that was beautiful. Life is fragile, for sure. I think the reason we are all here in this struggle is to make sure we are stronger physically and mentally for those weak and hard times. 

I went to a wedding yesterday. My husband was supposed to be the best man but he couldn't live long enough. They had his photo on a table among other friends and family (and the bride's dog) the couple had lost over the last year or so. My daughter and I were seated with three older couples in their late 60's-early 70's, all former school teachers. We had the best time! They were young and fun, smart as whips, and when they got up to dance they looked like they could go on for hours. I want to be like that in 20 yrs! I am not like that now. I don't dance. I don't think I've danced since I was a teenager. I've always been too self-conscious. I'm an observer rather than a participator (and that's in everything including board games and sports, etc..."I'll just watch thanks") My feet don't move the right way if I try. I think the first step is going to have to be sealing myself into a semi-lit room with all the drapes closed and put on a video or something on youtube and try to 'feel' the music. LOL. I'm useless. I am going to have to get used to living in my body in a positive way, rather than hiding it and moving it as little as possible. It's mine, only mine, and I have to take care of it or I'll find out just how fragile life can be!!

And I need to have fun. One of the ladies asked me how long it had been since I'd had a drink or two and relaxed and had FUN. I just couldn't remember. They are used to being retired at this point and really living it, ya know? They bowl, they go on trips, they laugh a ton, dance, tell funny stories about when they were young (they all knew each other for 40+ years). Anyway, I had a good time and so did my daughter. I need to have more good times.

Today is Sunday, no pool time today so I'll have to walk a bunch. There weren't too many steps yesterday and I didn't get enough fluids either, so I need to get back to basics. I might offer to walk my daughter to work (it's far) and take the dogs for their walk later. 

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. The weather is beautiful here. Blue skies, red trees, a chill to the air. Perfect for walking and breathing and enjoying being alive and strong! 

[khreed]

@_Lilac_ Thanks for the reality check. 

[Bobbinyc]

@DJC_63 I'm sorry this is such a tough time for you.  Do those non-drowsy allergy meds help?  Living with animals and being allergic to them is not a good combination at all.  I hope the heat problem gets solved soon - nights are getting chilly.

I'm sending you warm wishes for the strength I know you have inside you to come out again.  And I'm sending a hug.  Please do something nice for yourself today.

[A_Lurker]

---

@A_Lurker wrote:

USW: 407.0
CSW: 288.6 (Labour Day)
PW: 280.0 (10/2/16)
CW: 278.2 (-1.8)
GW: 275.8 (Halloween)
LT: 2.3 lbs/week for 36 weeks

---

* warning * this post is going to end up with a huge amount of venting, and me basically feeling sorry for myself.  The weigh in is at the bottom if you want to skip it. 

So physically an even lower energy week.  Some of it has been because I was busy at work, but the stuff at home is dragging on me more so than usual.  The newest thing seems to be driven by my not paying enough attention to my 88-yr old mother.  Her favourite thing to do when I come home is complain.  Wed night I was busy - I made a casserole and put it in the oven and went out to plant more bulbs.  As I'm taking dinner out to serve it she tells me she thinks she's had another stroke.  Now, please don't think I'm being heartless,  but she hadn't.  I know the signs to look for and she's exhibiting none of them.  We've done this before.  However, I drag her off to the emergency room (it's in town, less than 5 mins away) where they assess, take her vitals, etc. right away.  At this point no matter what her complaint, she's dropped down the low priority, since she has not had a stroke and is in no urgent medical distress.

About 90 mins after this starts we're back home.  She's unhappy because she's been told there is nothing wrong with her.  She was convinced coming back from a washroom trip that the doctor told me something (he didn't, just to follow up with the family doctor - as they are part of the same group he has access to her records).  Today I'm downstairs trying to work (yes, brought stuff home) and she comes down to start the entire process over again.  I reminded her of the visit earlier in the week and once again she's disappointed there's nothing overtly wrong.  She just wants someone to snap their fingers and make her better.  My major frustration with this is that after her accident she put in zero effort to any kind of recovery.  We had attempts of physio in the house (2x) a private clinic here in town, and the hospital had a program as well.  In all cases she refused to put in any effort - the hospital dropped her because unless I took time off work and drove her, she wouldn't go.  There are taxi services in the area but she would just cancel them because she didn't feel well.  So, almost three years of laying on the couch reading and napping, while everything gets done for her, no surprise she hasn't improved, and has in fact declined.

So I'm now back to the semi-weeping stage, and I don't want to do anything.  It's probably good that I finished the bulb planting yesterday, although there's a ton of stuff that needs to be done around here, but frankly I just don't want to do f***-all.  The chores are honestly never ending, and not doing them simply makes it worse, but doing some just reminds me there are more to do.  As much as I know she would be more miserable in a retirement home she's making me miserable.  Okay, past miserable.  Even on a bad day at work I don't get relief because I have to come home to her.  I couldn't get two days this weekend without her wanting me to drop what I was doing and give her more attention.  The respite care facility that she went to last year won't take her back.  Although they used her memory issues as a reason I suspect it was because frankly she's too difficult.  If I'm honest that's why I booked a vacation starting on the 26th of Dec.  Last year being home for the full week basically forced the issue of her going somewhere for part of the winter.

Oh, and to make matters just perfect it started off today with heavy rain and although it's let up, it's still fairly yucky out.  I also started the day with a bit of a chest congestion / cough / cold, not sure what.  I may drop the attempt to keep my calories burned up and go to maintenance for the week.  Anyways, what I came here to originally post.

USW: 407.0
CSW: 288.6 (Labour Day)
PW: 278.2 (10/9/16)
CW: 276.2 (-2.0)
GW: 275.8 (Halloween)
LT: 2.26 lbs/week for 37 weeks

[Bobbinyc]

@A_Lurker  Last part first - I'm amazed at how much you have accomplished.  To lose that much weight takes a level of strength, commitment, awareness, determination, learning.....etc.  Very remarkable.

ok.  A lot of us, as we age, experience so many losses - of our own abilities that used to make up the best parts of our lives, loss of people we love, of our reason to get up every day whether for work or take care of someone who needs us, our ability to live our passions.  And we often lose our ability to simply give ourselves some meaningful pleasure and interesting stimulation.  A lot of us become frightened.  While we become less able, we also become more isolated and more dependent.  A whole lot goes on medically and physically too, making it harder to cope.  Socializing gets harder and feels less meaningful.

That said, most of the very elderly that I've known resist change, no matter how badly they need it.  It's to scary and there is too little control.

So, how does your mom manage while you work?  Does someone from an agency come to the home to help out (keep her company)?  Does she ever go to some kind of program for people her age that would involve her in some activity - a game, listening to music, exercise, or socializing?  Or even let her watch others socialize. Again, a lot of people refuse, but I have never known anyone who didn't benefit from it.  

You cannot do it all.  Superwoman cannot do it all.

Sometimes there are agencies that send someone to the home to help with cooking/feeding/washing etc. A good person will spend a bit of time talking and listening and that can be a help.

A neighbor of mine contacted a local college and got a very sweet psychology student to volunteer with her mother a few hours a week.  Her mother resisted at first but now they are good friends.

I know this is all next to impossible.  And I am out of ideas.

I am thinking of you and wishing you well.  

[A_Lurker]

@Bobbinyc - there is a care worker that comes every morning to get her up, washed & dressed and to make sure she has breakfast.  When she stopped making lunches a year ago they now make a lunch for her and leave it in the fridge (at least this way I know if she's eaten).  Unfortunately the agency has changed and it's pretty much 5 or 6 different people during the week.  It used to be the same woman 12 days out of 14.  I think that change has meant that I now need to keep track of even more things (her new thing is not changing her clothing at all).  She'll just say they aren't dirty when I bring it up.  The original care worker would just give her a new set of clothing every other day.  All attempts to get her involved in seniors activities in the area have failed.  She would promise to go, but when the day came she would cancel as she was not feeling well.  That's why I thought she would enjoy the stay last winter - but overall she didn't.  Local VON does visitations, but there's more people who want visits than volunteers.  When we first moved here I had paid companions in for a while, but she really didn't want them in the house.  She basically wants to lay on the couch and read/nap all day, and then complain bitterly and have me commiserate.  To be fair she's always been a little bit this way (you and I would have a headache, she would have a migraine - it's always worse when she has it) however, it has gotten much worse as she'd aged.

I've been told by more than one professional that she probably wouldn't deal with an emergency well, and I agree, it's her common sense that seems most affected.  However, to put her into full time care will only get done if I force her into it.  I do have power of attorney & health, so I could.  I'd prefer that she look and find somewhere that she likes.  I recognize though that she's never going to prefer going to somewhere she needs to fit into their routine.  Here, she can basically bitch until I do what she wants.

Sigh... oh well, I better go and make dinner.

[Bobbinyc]

@A_Lurker Your mom is very lucky to have you there.  I'm not sure how, but I hope you can find a good balance of taking care of her and taking really good care of yourself, in all kinds of ways.  

[Bobbinyc]

@_Lilac_ I am so glad the wedding was manageable, and you even had some fun.  I know what you are saying about dancing.  I sometimes put on music, especially if I have to clean the house, and just dance around.  I sing while doing the dishes, usually until I realize my 25 year old neighbor is watching me and thinking I'm some crazy old lady.  It's as good a way to be crazy as any.  Moving to music is just another way to feel good about yourself.

[Bobbinyc]

@almost_where Wow!  You are just whipping through  those 280s.  I know you have an amazing food plan, but you must be incredibly active too.  You are inspiring me.

[_Lilac_]

@Bobbinyc The wedding was manageable, with a few sentimental tears from many people, but it was really awkward when they called the single ladies up to catch the bouquet and someone at my table said I fall into that category now. It was NOT something I was interested in doing. I have no interest in considering myself single at this point or getting into a relationship. I'm too busy taking care of myself and enjoying my single life after taking care of my partner so intensely for so long. I don't have the mental or physical energy to take anyone else into my life. I'm going to be selfish for a long while. I deserve it. I deserve peace.

@A_Lurker You will be happy to know I made my goal today with increasing my calories. I feel like it was a lot, but I got in 8500 steps. My sister offered to take me tomorrow to one of the forested nature parks with my dogs to walk the trails. I'll go to the pool first thing then she'll take me. I'll get a great number of steps tomorrow. That means I can have some pumpkin pie! I love pumpkin pie. 

I'm sorry you are going through such a stressful time. I've lived with a miserable elderly lady before and it's enough to drive you insane. I got anxiety issues and so much stress from it. She was verbally abusive toward my children at times, including calling them racist names. My mom always told us girls that if she got to the point that she was a burden on us, to put her in a home. She'd be perfectly happy. And I think I would enjoy living in one, where I don't have to do anything or worry about anything, just be happy doing what I want to do. What are her concerns about that kind of care? Do you have any siblings who could help you out sometimes? Have her visit them? You deserve to take care of yourself. Guilt is a burden you shouldn't have to carry, but I know it's real and heavy. You have to think about what is best for both of you. I hope this resolves without too much trouble.

We are almost to week 7. How has this challenge gone so fast??

[DJC_63]

@_Lilac_  I do live in a place where that happens, it just hasn't gotten cold enough yet. Thankfully I do have a little heater and yes I do take it in the bathroom when I take a shower. 🙂

[DJC_63]

@A_Lurker I'm sorry to hear how hard things have been. I understand what its like to live with someone like that, its hard! We seem to be having some similar experiences, altho I think yours is worse because your mother is older and sounds sicker than mine. My Mom had a Dr. appointment last week and it wasnt possible for my sister or I to go with her. She had seen this Dr. before and this was a follow-up. She got upset because he didnt remember her, and she told me that he said she's now almost in Stage 4 leukemia, but he refused to do chemo.  I had told her to ask for a print out of her lab results, but she said he didn't give her anything.  I looked through her paperwork and found a 5 page print-out with that day's date. It had info about every hospitalization, bloodwork results, procedures, etc. up until the end of August when she last saw him.  We have learned that we can't believe everything she says because she gets confused and she likes to be dramatic. A few days later she told me that he said she was going to die within a year. I was pretty sure he didn't say exactly that, so I read through the report, looked up words I wasn't familar with, etc. so I could understand everything. What I came away with is that as of that date her cancer was progressing very slowly and there weren't any indications that she was gravely ill, so they were going to keep watching her weekly lab results and hold off on chemo.  From what I've read that is pretty common with situations like hers. But she now thinks that the Dr. is an idiot so she probably won't go back to him. That's not surprising, as she has also told me that her cardiologist is "a liar".  She doesn't trust anyone and finds fault with almost everyone. She's also like your Mom in that she's always looking for the worst-case scenario. I don't think I'll be able to help her once she gets to a certain point.  I know that she won't listen to me (like your Mom she **ahem**es and argues until I just do what she wants), and I don't think I have the temperament to put up with her tantrums and abusive behavior on a daily basis. I've already told my siblings that at some point I won't be able to do this anymore and we'll need to think about what will need done then.

Do you have any siblings? It sounds like it's just you with your Mom. I hope that you take care of yourself from now on. You can run yourself into the ground trying to help her and she may not even appreciate it.  At some point you have to put yourself first.  PM me anytime you want to talk! I don't check in here every day but I'll see it at least once a week.  I hope that things get better soon.