Rock Bottom, where to go from here?

[LaRenarde]

I feel I've hit rock bottom today. I've been on a weightloss journey for the past year and my depression has seem to take over everytime I find myself on the right track and rip me right back to where I am.

Today I decided to turn things around, but I do not know where to start. I'm at 250 and would like to be just healthy at 210 right now. I have no support from friends, family or now my new fiance.

Where did you begin? Any tips?

[SunsetRunner]

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@LaRenarde wrote:

I feel I've hit rock bottom today. I've been on a weightloss journey for the past year and my depression has seem to take over everytime I find myself on the right track and rip me right back to where I am.

Today I decided to turn things around, but I do not know where to start. I'm at 250 and would like to be just healthy at 210 right now. I have no support from friends, family or now my new fiance.

Where did you begin? Any tips?

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Hey, I know how it feels. Depression affects so much of your life and it can be so overwhelming. Depression makes it hard to lose weight from the lack of motivation, stress and tiredness.

I began my journey by learning how to plan my meals for every day. It took me two hours to plan a 3-meals-a-day 7-day meal plan! I write my meal plan down in a journal. Doing this makes me feel like I'm in control. I lost 10 lbs in the first few weeks just by planning my meals and making healthier food choices. I really enjoy researching things about health and diet, which also helps keep my mind busy and away from negative thoughts. I don't know how much time you have but that might be a place to start?

I also love the forums here. Most of the people are really friendly and supportive. I see so many positive posts on the forums and it's really encouraging. I want you to know that you're not alone, there are people who care about you and want to see you succeed and be happy. I believe in you! You are wonderful and strong. The fact that you are reaching out proves that you are able!! You've got this!

[Raviv]

If you have tried before and it hasn't gone well, then you obviously won't want to do the same thing again.

How were you trying to lose weight before?  Low fat? Low Carb? Serious calorie restriction?  What kind of exercises and how often?  Is there a living situation or underlying medical issues that makes it harder?

Sometimes the way we try to lose weight is the thing that ultimately makes it more difficult.  Strange but true.

[Inga]

tracking calories in and out with your fitbit is something you can take control of and to support yourself right away. Just keep posting to the communty, find friends here and best wishes!

[Odyssey13]

Welcome to the forums @LaRenarde

This is the right place to come for support and understanding.

You've gotten some good advice so far. Journeling is always a great way to see how things are going. You can write down how you feel if you overeat or don't exercise as much as you'd like. It helps to see those triggers, too, that send you downward.

You've started by joining up here and making a decision to make some changes in your life. It's a brave and big new beginning. Believe in yourself and don't look back.

See if there is a weight loss support group in your area. It doesn't have to be Weight Watchers or any place that charges. There are free groups out there somewhere if you check around.

Your fiance, family and friends aren't supportive? Surely they know you just want to lose weight and be healthier as time goes on. Sometimes it seems others aren't thinking about us as much as they are themselves when we want to make positive changes in our lives. Seeing us change makes them feel as though they should do something themselves, but they lack the courage to face it.

You can do this. One day at a time, one step at a time and you'll make that goal.

Which Fitbit did you get?

[CorryLester]

http://doesthisfitbitmakemelookfit.blogspot.ca/2015/06/seven-ways-to-increase-your-fitbit-steps.html

Here is a blog post I found that lists ways to get more steps and more steps equals a better chance at losing those extra pounds!!  Keep up with your journey. You arent at rock bottom because you haven't given up!

[Trooper]

I feel your pain. I guess because I walked in your shoes just a few months ago. My dad was diagnosed with Cancer in March 2014. I weighed about 231. Doctor's said he wasn't going to last long, and so I went int a deep depression. He passed away on July 15, 2015. From March 2014 until November 2014, I was just eating everything in site. I didn't care and I just wanted food to make me feel better. I started to notice that my XXL shirts and my 46 size pants were getting too small. I would cry for my dad daily, and then I would go and pig out on sodas, chips, cookies, anything I wanted. Forget about portion control. My family was no help either. They pretty left me alone to deal with my grief. Around Thanksgiving, I started Journaling everything I was eating. I made a decision that I was not going to let my depression control me anymore. I wasn't going to let it control what I put in my mouth either. So from that point on, I took control of my own emotions and body. It was very hard at first because no one around me is very supportive. Everyone in my house still eats junk food, cakes, cookies, fast food. But I stay away from it because I choose to do so. I started out at about 270. As of today, I now weigh 205. All I can tell you is that this is one journey that  you are going to have to start on your own. But be assured, there a lot of us out here, like you, who know where your are coming from. All of us out here " Stand with You!" Best of Luck.

[Shortsbysummer]

Every journey begins with a single step. Make a small manageable change, and then as you succeed make another. In April I hit my rock bottom. I couldn't walk 3 blocks with my kids because of my weight causing joint pain. I started exercising everyday just walking slowly on the treadmill. 2.5 months later that decision had a butterfly effect. Exercising more made me crave junk food less. I watched a ton of documentaries about food, obesity, plant based diets, etc. made tweaks to my eating. I'm still tweaking and adding new manageable goals. I'm down 35 lbs and can run for 10-minutes without stopping with no joint pain. Baby steps! Members here are great for support too. Lots of support and encouragement and great ideas in all the posts above mine 🙂 you can do it!

[dancefoxtrot]

LaRenade,

I might begin by listening to what the thoughts are that come with the depression.Are they just automatic negative thoughts that are not really true?  I would journal to probe why depression sabotages you when you make progress. Is that a long term pattern from childhood?  Thoughts lie sometimes so you don't need to believe them if they lie.

Also,how does it happen that your family and fiance don't want to support your healthy changes? With understanding may come greater freedom.

Exercise often helps with lifting depression so I would exercise everyday. Also, eat lots of veggies, and lean protein. 

Rock bottom is a good place to begin.

Wishing you well,

Barbara 

[Gandhi]

Get into fitbit challenges and try to get better with each one.

Dont ever give up . 

Cmon 

Cheers Dr Gandhi

Singapore 

[GinaBee]

We'll be your positive support!! 

Start today by listing three positives about your self AND three positives things you're going to do today. 

I'm down from 265 on 12/1/14 to 217 this past Saturday - you can do this!! 

Find an acitivty that you like so it becomes a part of your life that you enjoy!! 

Feel free to reach out as I'll always reach back.

[LaRenarde]

I want to thank everyone for your support and suggestions! I was really fearful of posting on the fourms and sounding pathetic but thank you all for your kind words and help! I'm going to try to answer everyone question in this post.

I have the fitbit flex. I tried every "diet" know to man this past year, and it seems when I intitially lost weight back in 2012 all I did was change my eating habits to paleo. I lived in LA at the time and it was much more affordable to eat healthy. Now I live in the midwest, where its unbelieveably expensive to have same paleo lifestyle and my fiance is a big junk food eater and that influence isn't helping either. He lost weight on sandwhichs and I tried it and gain weight.

I'm trying to go back to paleo, i actually planted my own garden this past week too. It just seems that my depression is cripling me because I really dont like how I look at all in anything. I'm at 250 and would like to just be at a healthy weight before my wedding and before i turn 30 next year. Granted I have a year for all of this, I still have the "ill start tomorrow " attitude.

However after reading everyone's comments, I joined a gym today and meet with my trainer after work today. I'm going to try to force myself to the gym even if I just make it to the gym.

Having no support is tough. I have PTSD from a former relationship and most of my family is overweight. My sisters are not, however they lost weight by literally not eating and though I know thats the wrong way of doing it, my dad thinks they are fine. I come from a middle eastern family where apperance of women is more important then how sick of they might look.

Sorry for the rambling.

[LaRenarde]

thank you @GinaBee!

[Raviv]

Hang in there!

I do know Paleo, and it's healthy.  I ate Primal (basically Paleo plus dairy) for quite a while and saw a lot of benefits to my health.  I only stopped because, while it was good for my brain and the rest of my body, it wasn't good for my head.  I already have several foods I can't eat because they give me migraines (vasodilators - so the fun stuff like dark chocolate, bacon, some deli meat, most jerky and any processed meats) so the restrictions were too much for me. And when you start hanging out with people on the internet who are downright obsessive about it, then even more so.

What I do now is just try to make the best choice and let it go.  If there are eggs available for breakfast, I go with that.  If I'm on my way to work and don't feel like cooking and cleaning up, I have a quality low carb whey protein shake.  If I'm visiting and all they have are pancakes, then I guess I'm having pancakes - but I'll just eat one ot two, not a huge stack, and I'll go light on the syrup (or leave it off).  And if I eat crap for a meal, then I eat better the rest of the day, maybe throw in a long walk and let it go.  What I eat doesn't define whether I'm a good person or a loser.

I really think food quality is a huge piece of the puzzle.  The better you eat, the better you feel.  Make sure you have decent choices in your house for when you just need to have something or you'll go crazy.  I live with my boyfriend, who is naturally skinny, and my 21-year-old son who is an athlete.  They eat differently than I do.  So the cookies that don't seem to bother them go on top of the fridge, not eye level, and the apples go in a big glass bowl on the counter.  When we have something like chicken and vegetable stir fry, like last night, then I add a very small amount of sauce to the pan and my boyfriend can add more to his plate if he wants.  It's A LOT easier to handle living with other people if you're the one doing the cooking.

Make sure you do measure your food whenever possible.  The extras really can add up, and then you think you're eating a certain amount of calories when it's quite a bit more.  And then you get frustrated and toss the whole thing.  And this needs to be something you stick with for life.

[GinaBee]

One of my biggest tips is don't get hungry! I can make the WORST choices when I'm starved - even w/healthy food. 

Pre-planning and preparing your meals and snacks are KEY to succeeding!! 

[aspiretoimpact]

Hi Nadia,

Have sent you a friend request, would love to help you. Have got plenty of support groups I can invite to on Facebook with loads of tips, motivation, steps you can take to get on the right track etc. 

Feel free to send me a message and I can pass on my details.

Thanks

Aydin

[auroram]

I am a strong believer in the power of words, whether spoken or thought. One thing you can try to do is to choose different words to describe things. You dont HAVE to go to the gym, you CHOOSE to go to the gym 🙂 It may seam like a silly thing but changing the way you speak to yourself (not to mention about yourself) can help in motivation and to change negative thinking patterns. So, you GET to go to the gym, where everyone is there to be healthy, unlike your family, they are like minded. You choose to log in here and get support and inspiration and share the same. If you use more power based words, you take responsibility for your activities and choices. If you do that, you will find yourself feeling more in control. If you are responsible for where you are, then you can choose another path! Also, there are many reasons people become unsupportive of lifestyle change. Sometimes it isn't something they even do consiously but defensively. They may fear how you will change if you lose weight, they may not want to give up their own unhealthy habits. My husband loves to offer me fattening food whenever I am trying to lose weight, underneath it all, he just worries about me getting **ahem**y LOL My point is the lack of support is not about you, it's about them. Good luck to you, if you aare at the bottom you can only go up!

[vivace]

It is possible to confuse hunger with thirst, so you may want to drink some water or seltzer first. Several diet books (books on ways of eating) say to eat a handful of nuts, if you are not allergic. A  handfull of nuts, say 12 almonds,  is about 100 calories.  I like  walnuts and roasted almonds.  Unfortunately my spouse gorges on them.  Try taking a few celery sticks and carrot sticks with you.  Now satiety, feeling full takes,  about twenty minutes. 

[LadyLinda]

@LaRenardesweetheart i know where you coming from totally! I have anxiety too an my depression was taking my toll for years leaving me completely stranded off fighting on my own. *hugs* My weight wasn't even getting better at the time struggling with it a lot. Just wanted to let you know... You are not alone!

[swtmom]

add me and I will help encourage you every step of the way. Life is not easy but I am here to help as I have lost 20 in two months and have ten more to go to get to my goal and eating healthier is helping to.