Trying to lose weight...getting married

[kschik]

So long story short I am getting married in 353 days. I am terrifried about looking like I do now when I get married to the point I don't even want to purchase pictures because it will just keep reminding me about how much of a failure I have been. I hate and I mean HATE looking at myself in pictures...in the mirror etc because I know how much I have let myself go and how much weight I have gained in the past few years and I am so mad and disgusted with myself.

I have been attempting to lose 25 to 30 pounds which doesn't seem like a lot to some I know but to me it seem soo unataniable. I at one point was down about 18 pounds then I started having thyroid issues to the point where I was too lathargeic to really do anything and started eating comfort food and gained all of it back.

I try to eat healthy and exercise but having 2 kids that always have somewhere to be and something going on its completely unrealistic to excercise and hour a day 6 days a week. I'm lucky if I can get in a couple 30 min sessions at the gym. I do try to get in a couple quick 15 min walks around the block during my work day so I guess there is that.

Eating has always been an issue and when I go off the deep end I just say forget it basically and binge eat whatever making myself feel even worse.

I'm not quite sure why I'm even writing this except that today has been a pretty bad day. I don't really have any friends to rely on or vent to. I know my fiance means well and is telling me the truth but him telling me I look beautiful that I dont need to loose weight just translates in my mind to him not supporting me when I know he does.

So thanks for reading.

[modelmalina]

Hi,

Congrats on getting married soon! Very exciting news.

As for losing the weight, I would suggest take it one day at a time. Take small steps as they say.

Perhaps walk more. Instead of car or bike if possible. Try to eat only when hungry. It's hard but

if you take little steps each day it may work. Try fruits and vegetables. And of course lots of water

helps. I have a hard time with sugar and chocolate. I am not an expert. Just some friendly advice.

And working on it myself too. As long as you keep trying things, you will never fail. It is just a matter of finding what works for each of us. I am working on my chocolate habit too.

Hope this helps.

[SunsetRunner]

First off, congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

Posting about your difficulties and looking for help is the first step. Take it one day at a time, when you feel the cravings, just try to remember why you want to loose the weight. Get fitbit friends, join challenges.

good luck and you can ad me as a fit bit friend if you want.

[AuroraKat]

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

If your goal is to lose 25 pounds in one year, that's about 0.5 pounds per week. Roughly speaking, to lose a pound a week, one has to cut 3500 calories per week. In your case, you would only need to cut 1750 calories, which is 250 per day. If you are not doing so already, I recommend that you record your daily food intake and find a way to cut those 250 calories. 

You mentioned that you had thyroid issues in the past. You didn't specify what type of issues, but I am going to assume hypothyroidism since you said you were lethargic (if I'm wrong, ignore the next few sentences). Five years ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I understand how difficult it is to maintain weight, let alone lose it, when your thyroid is not functioning properly. There's really no other way to say it - it's hard work. What really helps people with sluggish thyroids is getting plenty of activity. Not necessarily structured exercise routines (which are great too, of course), but simply moving around more - taking the stairs, walking a little bit extra here and there, etc. Weight training is also very beneficial, but does take a bit more planning to fit into your day. Bodyweight exercises are best to start with - no need for a gym membership or specialized equipment. 

I hope your day gets better, @kschik! I hope you find a routine that allows you to reach your goal! 🙂

[CWalker87]

Hey! Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! 

I just wanted to share what I've learned about my current weight loss experience because I can totally relate where you're coming from. I started in March 2016 with the goal of losing 150lbs and I'm over halfway there now - 75lbs down! So, let me say, if I can do it, anybody can do it. Lol. I've got two girls who are in school, ballet, soccer, and cheerleading, I work around 45-50 hours weekly, and my husband works 12-16 hour night shift rotations 4-5 days a week - so a lot of the daily running around is left to me. I was so disgusted with myself too. I was always so fit and active in my teens and once I hit college and life took over...I put on a lot of weight and I honestly didn't realize it until I had to go up another size in pants and it's like something hit me that I had to change. My husband has always been so supportive of me and always thought I was beautiful no matter what my weight has been - but you make sure you do this for you. You are beautiful now and you will be beautiful after losing 25-30lbs too! 

My advice is:

1. Start logging all of your food and drinks. The first week I did this I was so amazed at just how much I underestimated my calories for the day and the majority of my calories was spent on soft drinks - cokes, mountain dews, etc. So I totally cut them out and replaced them with water or decaff tea. 

2. There was no way I could get the time to go to the gym. So, I got online and googled at home exercises. There are some great ones and you can break them up into short, multiple sessions during the day so you're not trying to do a full workout in an hour that you don't have. I recommend getting some dumb bells and resistance bands to start with. I set my alarm 15-20 minutes early every morning and I always got in some good cardio and stretching before starting the day, which made me feel better and more motivated during the day. The best thing to do is look at your schedule and fill in any gaps you can. I did the bulk of my exercise at night when my girls where in the bed and sleeping. I had to force myself to do it because I just wanted to sleep! Lol! But I promise once you start seeing results, it will be addicting. Also, yoga, yoga, yoga! I try to fit it in in the morning or at night - google yoga for beginners if you're new. You have no idea how much it will help you physically and mentally and I know how tiring and stressful daily life and planning a wedding can be. 

3. Also, allow yourself to have your favorite comfort foods in moderation. I cannot stress this enough. Some folks may not agree, but I'm telling you that is the only way I've been successful so far. I am a southern, comfort food, dip it in flour and fry it sort of girl. Lol. If I wanted something, I would eat it - in moderation! Figure out what works best for you in this regard. If I wanted some french fries - I would make them at home so I could control the oil, salt, etc. If I wanted something sweet, I would eat one serving size, etc. When I figured out exactly how many calories all my favorite foods were and how long I had to exercise to burn them off...it totally changed my appetite. But, I will, on occassion, have one meal that is "about" me. Lol.

I certainly hope that helps some. You can definitely do it! Start out slow and do what feels best for you! If you want to add me as a friend on here, please do! Good luck to you! 🙂

[kschik]

Thank you all for your help and wonderful advice. Its going to be a really long road but I know things will get better a step at a time.

Being on my thyroid medication now for a month an a half I'm finally starting to have a little energy and getting to where I can think about getting things back together again.

My biggest hurdle is "falling off the wagon" so to speak and undoing all my hard work in just a few days. I know there will be slip ups along the way and I need to get better at dealing with that.

I am looking into joining a challenge or group so if anyone has any suggestions on where to get started with that I would appreciate it. Thanks again for all the kind words and encouragement when I really needed it.

[SunsetRunner]

Try eating when hungry until your precious body says being comfortable satisfied. Natural foods are the best as containing all nutritients the body requires, feeling fuller quicker on lower calories overall.

See which foods leave you most satisfied, or leave still being hungry after eating alot from.

Notice which foods trigger to eat more even if not so hungry, could say eat a piece of chocolat just for the taste, but triggering to eat more from just cause it tastes so good even while not really needing.

No denying any foods, when allowing to have in the moment what you desire, possible eating less calories overall when possible. For example if eating something to eat but not really wanting, and what you truly desire is available, if eating what you didn't want first, going to have what you really desire anyway, even if not hungry anymore..

If eating what you truly desire, not really needing the other foods.. possible to stay satisfied for longer if allowing to have what originally desiring to have. Preventing binge eating.

Aim to eat until comfortably satisfied, not stuffed, that's a sign of your precious body having overeated. Eating slower, chewing properly (take the time to eat) can help eating less as noticing the signs of your body quicker telling not needing more (can take up to 20 minutes before the body says 'enough').. if eating quicker, possible could have eated a second portion in the 20 minutes.. before the body says 'enough', and possibly feeling stuffed afterwards..

Have fun reaching your goals, enjoy all the foods (& drinks)

Exercise for fun, natural walking is exercise to if not feeling up to go to the gym. It may not feeling like needing to do, but cause you like to do.

[Ukase]

So...you have a busy life catering to two kids. This is a good thing. 

And - you do not need to exercise to lose weight! In fact - I believe in the initial stages of any weight loss plan, you should control your food intake before you even bother with exercise. If you can't control your diet, all the exercise in the world will not get you where you want to be. 

So - step-wise refinement. Take this big problem you have and break it down to its smaller parts. 

350 days - 11 months and change. 

This means that you only have to lose 1 pound every 10 days. Easy! This comes down to a 350 calorie deficit a day, every 10 days. 

Some days, you may not achieve this deficit. So, the next day, you try for -700 calories, or just forget about it and lose that pound in 11 days instead of 10. 

Don't worry so much about what you eat, or when - just take note of every calorie you eat, log it. 

Try to eat healthy - but don't feel badly if you really feel like eating something unhealthy. It's those occasional treats that let you stick with a program in the long run. And - realize that this plan continues after you meet your goal. You just up the calories to your daily burn. 

[SunsetRunner]

Keep a picture of yourself now on the fridge to remind yourself and take it slow

[Annabel398]

kshick, you can do it!

Be nice to yourself--if one of your kids did a great job of walking one day, but fell down the next day, they wouldn't beat themselves up and lie flat on their backs for the rest of the day 😃

If you're not a "gym" person (I'm sure not), you might want to look into FitStar. I did their trial membership and then joined up. You can do workouts as long as 45 min or as short as 7 minutes (no lie!) and you can pause them if life (kids) get in the way. No equipment required. The videos are good, I really like the timing and the way you give them feedback on whether it was too hard, too easy or just right, and then they tailor it to your level.

If you decide to try it, here's my referral code: BXNVCZ

We each get a month free if you use it!