Weight loss competition

[Kibbles314]

At the beginning of August, my partner and I started a weight loss competition together, aiming for a 3 month period of actual competition. He has a lot more to lose than I do, I'm at 137 now, (I started at 142) and am aiming for 125. He started at 240 and is aiming for 180-160. We decided he'll have to lose 3 lbs for every 1 I do since he's got so much farther to go.

My problem is that I can't seem to find a good balance to lose weight. I try to work out every day, usually I aim for 3 days of weight training per week with the other days for mild walking/biking and stretching to recover. I started our competition eating only 800-900 calories a day (I know, naughty naughty) which did wonders for my numbers on the scale, but I was so miserable and tired that I could barely focus. Not to mention I'm prone to migraines if I don't eat enough. So I bumped it up to 1200 a day and have felt better, but now my weight loss has come to a brick wall. I'm so frustrated.

I'm trying to eat clean, I'm gluten and lactose intolerant, so those things were easy to cut out, and I've been slowly clearing my kitchen of any gf substitutes (like bread) and buying more produce/taking the time to cook new meals. I'm trying to do this the healthy way, but I just can't seem to lose weight any more. I hate starving myself (I used to lose weight by just not eating and working out over 3 hours a day, but I'm not willing to do that any more) and have a relatively active job in a factory, so I'm not sure what I should change. My partner has been dropping weight like a rock because he seems to get by just fine eating 500 calories a day (despite my protests) and I have no idea how to keep my weight loss going without the cost of my health or sanity. Any suggestions?

[1stepcloser]

I will say that 1st any weight loss is good. 2nd you can not compare your weightloss difference because your partner will lose weight more and can do the same thing as you. It takes him more calories to move his body then you take to move yours. So if you 2 ate the same and worked out the same. He would lose more weight. 3rd..you are closer to your goal then he was his, so it will take a little longer for you. There's a point where your body will plateu...you have to keep eating healthy, every few hours, don't drop below your 1200 and keep moving. Eventually your body will start to lose again. You gave your self 3 months, use all of that time. I know you are frustrated but look at your end goal. A week here and there where you drop nothing is fine. If you lost fat and gained muscle it explains the balence.The scale isn't the only way to measure your progress. Keep trying! We are here for you! Hope this helps!

[Kibbles314]

Thanks, it does. 🙂 I know sometimes my weight will fluctuate, and that mine will be slower than his, but stopping so quickly after I increased to 1200 is frustrating. I knew my weight was going to go up since last weekend we were on vacation and took a break from counting calories and this week I have been hot into a book so I have been riding the recumbent bike every day instead of weights, but it is disheartening to have him tell me he is losing an average of 1lb a day when I stay where I am or gain. I'm not sure if i should add a more difficult exercise routine or just keep as I am.

[1stepcloser]

Stop for a moment and breathe!  You started 21 days ago, you have lost 5 lbs and you took time off,  you have 10 weeks to go for your 3 month mark...and 12 pounds left....You need time. Time for your body to respond to what you are doing. Time for you to have rest days. Time for you to lose 12 lbs.  You didn't gain this weight over night, you will not lose it that way. Can I write to cut your calories to 900 and run 10 miles a day and lift 4 days a week...yes i can but I won't because it is unhealthy! You don't need to change your eating, or your cardio right now..You need to stop and breathe and give your body time to adjust to what you are doing! Quit comparing you and your partner..that's apples and oranges. Yes you wanted a challenge with him, so what...challenge yourself. Your end game is 10 weeks from now..not 10 days!

[Kibbles314]

^-^' I am rebuked. Thanks for your help, I will try to hold steady with what I am doing and focus less on the daily number. Though I do wish I could convince my partner that eating like an anorexic isn't the right way to win, stubborn jerk.

[1stepcloser]

Just remember if you take the time to lose weight correctly and healthy you will win in the long run. Your partner is changing his eating habits to a standard he can not keep up for the rest of his life. If he doesn't change his eating plan to a lifetime change then you will win a year from now when you are still 125 and his weight came back. I'm not trying to jinx him but science says he will gain it back if he doesn't change his mind set for the long term. You? You are...remember the turtle beat the rabbit!

[Kibbles314]

Indeed! It's a shame, he wants to win because he's competitive (and because our prize is a pack of sexy-time coupons the loser must make for the winner) and not so much for his health. He resents advice on his diet, and we are currently long distance so I can't just make his meals to force him to eat more. Though I'm trying to prove him wrong about his theory that all he has to do to lose weight is eat at a severe calorie deficit by eating more calories per day, but clean foods instead to show him the what matters more than the how much. (Hence part of my frustration at my stalling while he keeps losing)

[Heybales · Accepted solution]

You aren't going to win this contest, not if they have the attitude you've shared.

Just give it up for winning the contest and look at the bigger picture.

Doing this for your health or not? I can't tell from your comments, you go back and forth as to what is important to you.

But good news, you'll win the next one after they gain the weight back and you have nothing to lose.

Because I can give you a recipe right now for weight loss if you don't care it's muscle mass, which is what they are losing. Muscle provides less calories for energy than fat, so it's actually easier to lose a pound of it.

With so little to lose, just use the tool correctly to win the big picture.

Pick a 500 cal deficit from what you burn.

Log any workouts that are not step based, because they will be badly under-estimated.

Meet your daily eating goal.

Weigh the foods that go in your mouth, measure only liquids. Calories is per weight, not volume.

And to your current state where you shocked your system to probably maximum adaptation to your extreme stress you caused it, you need to slowly increase your eating level to goal eating.

So if your average eating level is 1200 despite all you do, likely 50% of what you burn (just think about that, think the body is happy with 50% less than it wants?), and your daily burn is 2500, and you take 500 deficit.

Take 1 week and eat at 1300 daily.

Next week 1400 daily, ect.

Keep repeating until you are near the Fitbit eating goal, which is 500 below your daily burn.

Lose your 1 lb weekly and be secure in the knowledge you won't be repeating this several months down the road like they will, easier to gain and harder to lose.

[Kibbles314]

To Haybales: you're right, sorry I haven't been very clear. I do want to win this contest, (he's not the only one who wants those coupons) but my main focus is that I do so in a healthy way. My main post was because of my frustration over the plateau. It is tough when I'm working out and eating well and don't see any difference besides feeling sore the next day. I don't like being hungry, starting on so few calories was mainly being over excited to try and win. As for my partner, the main issue is he doesn't listen so well to discussion about his diet. I know he isn't eating enough, or the right things. I wanted to show him I could win our competition by eating more clean calories than less bad ones. (I realize my start in the contest makes that statement hypocritical, I've never claimed to be consistent).

[Heybales]

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@Kibbles314 wrote:
To Haybales: you're right, sorry I haven't been very clear. I do want to win this contest, (he's not the only one who wants those coupons) but my main focus is that I do so in a healthy way. My main post was because of my frustration over the plateau. It is tough when I'm working out and eating well and don't see any difference besides feeling sore the next day. I don't like being hungry, starting on so few calories was mainly being over excited to try and win. As for my partner, the main issue is he doesn't listen so well to discussion about his diet. I know he isn't eating enough, or the right things. I wanted to show him I could win our competition by eating more clean calories than less bad ones. (I realize my start in the contest makes that statement hypocritical, I've never claimed to be consistent).

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Then you have opposite goals that are against each other.

Keep it very clear in your mind - winning this contest against the attitude of the competitor and losing weight in a healthy way are opposites in this case.

You cannot have both. Until you accept that - you will be doing neither I believe, but causing problems actually.

The stress that will go along with that will cause weight gain, constantly elevated cortisol can actually cause 10-20 lbs of water retention.

Now how stressed might you get?

If you want the competition route no matter what, realize the body can only adapt and suppress your metabolism and daily burn by so much, eventually you will start losing again. So studies have shown max suppression of 20-25%.

Take that much off what Fitbit says you burn, since it's estimating on a healthy body and yours isn't now nor in the future. Use that as your daily burn.

Now eat 500 less than that new amount daily to lose 1 lb weekly. Be aware that under this stress you will likely gain water weight at the same time, but again, that will max out.

If you really want to repeat this fun adventure down the road and win more coupons for fast weight loss again (but it won't be as fast as this time, but you could have a fun future of yo-yo dieting your life away, getting coupons each time!):

Make sure you eat no more than 50g of carbs a day.

And exercise is only intense cardio, as hard as you can make it, day after day. Don't be surprised if the speed of running or elliptical slows down, as you lose muscle that is what should happen, especially with low carb.

I already gave the method for the healthy way.

[Kibbles314]

I suppose. 😕 I want to win, but I agree that against his mentality, I won't unless I adapt a similar style, which I'm not willing to do. I like your post from before, since I don't want to yoyo. I suppose I should have saved my partner's side for a different thread, because I think it is confusing things.

[bikerjules]

I would suggesting eating something every 2-3 hours as well. Eat healthy snacks like carrrots, fruit, nuts. If you continually feed your body it tends to let go of the extra fat easier.  If you go a long time in between meals, your body goes into hunger mode and it stores whatever you eat....

[Heybales]

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@bikerjules wrote:

I would suggesting eating something every 2-3 hours as well. Eat healthy snacks like carrrots, fruit, nuts. If you continually feed your body it tends to let go of the extra fat easier.  If you go a long time in between meals, your body goes into hunger mode and it stores whatever you eat....

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Your suggestion as to why eating every 2-3 hrs is myth passed on from person to person - so sorry I gotta call it out whenever I see BS being spread.

When you go awhile between meals, just the opposite happens that you claim. Your insulin has finally dropped from your last meal, and fat is released again from fat cells as energy source.

You would need to go 72 hrs with NO food for that process to start having a change.

Actually eating every 2-3 hours assures that your insulin is always elevated. And when insulin is elevated, fat is specifically NOT released from fat cells.

During the 3-4 hrs post meal processing while insulin is elevated, your energy source is the food you ate, carbs are stored in muscles or liver if needed, then burned as energy, fat you ate is burned or stored since fat storage is turned on, and protein is sent to muscles.

Now in a deficit it doesn't matter. Follow your idea, you are constantly burning what you ate, and no fat is released from the cells until over night finally. Or you are more active and what you ate only supplies energy for short period of time, insulin drops, and normal fat cell release burning is allowed again.

No studies have shown for weight loss to have any improvements from more frequent meals, actually a tad worse with more frequency because of facts stated above.

Personal preference. And if you are getting that hungry after a meal to want to eat again - you likely are eating too many carbs without enough protein and fat, or you are pre-diabetic.

If it helps you to adhere to calorie level fine, but your stated reasons are true at all.

Look up insulin for that info.

[dayb]

tryed NS once all it taught me was to eat all the time

[HelenWebster]

Studies show that each time you eat something or even drink some water your metabolism speeds up.  If one were to nibble on healthy items and drink some water say then have a small workout whether it be working or something else they should loose weight and not have the glucose spike.  There are also foods that are low on the glycemic index that one should try to incorporate into the snacks.

[Heybales]

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@HelenWebster wrote:

Studies show that each time you eat something or even drink some water your metabolism speeds up.  If one were to nibble on healthy items and drink some water say then have a small workout whether it be working or something else they should loose weight and not have the glucose spike.  There are also foods that are low on the glycemic index that one should try to incorporate into the snacks.

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It's not your metabolism strictly, unless you want to call metabolism what your body is burning in total (which isn't correct, that's TDEE) - which most research separates the different calorie burns.

BMR - Basal Metabolic Rate - "metabolism"

NEAT - Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis - moving around daily

EAT - Exercise Activity Thermogenesis - specific workouts beyond daily life

TEF - Thermal Effect of Feeding - digesting and processing food.

All add up to TDEE.

That last one has been shown in studies to be the same whether you eat the calories all spread out or all at once. There is no benefit from stictly a weight -loss aspect.

Your body speeds up and burns the same number of calories digesting and processing the food.

Personal preference and adherence to eating level - sure.

[kelliann1]

What has worked for me, and it is the ONLY thing that worked, is to cut carbs to 30 percent or less of the daily diet. My protein and fat intakes have gone up as a result and my calories went up. Also do my best to stick to "good" carbs and definitely stick to "good" fats. Egg whites are part of my daily protein. Leaves less waste in the body and better for cholesterol. 

But the weight is finally, after 2 years of going nowhere, coming off a little at a time. It may not please the fast-loss people (those wanting to lose a pound or two a week) but it works. I lose around 2.5 to 3 pounds a month (14 pounds in 4.5 months). I have not increased exercise much. I walk a little more (but almost never over 2 miles in the course of a day, walking around the house or stores; no walks down the street). Ride my bike a few times a month (leg problem, can't ride much). That's it.

[supportcaring]

Be aware that you are burning calories even by doing nothing for 24 hours. Visit this link to see you Basal Metabolic Rate. You must include a diet that compensates for the calories you are burning in the resting state or you will be fatigued and malnourished. BASAL METABOLIC RATE