14.5 months in and I'm still writing my story

[suzilmcmullen]

I was never fit.  Growing up I heard it every way possible.  When I wanted to try out for sports my dad said I was clumbsy and lazy and there was no point.  As a child of the 70's, I took part in some government push to get everyone to learn how to do X number of chin ups, climb a rope, do sit ups, push ups etc...  I could do NONE of these even with pushing, taunting, and my teacher was so disgusted with me.  She would tell me how disappointed she was in front of the class.  Of course, I was never picked to be on a team.  When I sprinted during PE I would slow down before hitting the finish line and my PE teacher would yell at me about that.  I had ZERO positive reinforcement.  My brother...  EXACT opposite...  Captain of the football team...enough said.

In highschool I had to take PE every day because I had skipped PE too much.  For 3 months I showed up to my classes and gave it my all.  I lost 45 pounds.  Even with losing all that weight, the teacher didn't notice, didn't praise me for it and on the last day I went to class she tested my recovery time and told me in front of the class that I was the most out of shape kid she ever had.

Later I married a lean, athletic guy.  He was so angry at me for not being able to run that when we went running the one and only time, he slapped my glasses right off my face while I was complaining about my side hurting.

Later I would go on to buy every kind of fad fitness equipment to hit the market.  I mean I had the gazelle, that sliding thing that was like skiing, row machines, bikes, treadmills, ellipticals, and the one that the redhead actor and the model husband/wife team sells.  Most gathered dust.  But I gave it my all at least for 6 -8 weeks every time and each and every time I hurt myself, got water on my joints and once again convinced myself that I was defective.  I tried to get fit so many times and in so many ways that I started complaining about my pain, inflammation, and exercise troubles online.  People kept saying they thought I had fibromyalgia.  So I went to a doctor that quickly agreed.  GREAT.  I spent another 10 years believing that I was defective.  

Finally last year I decided I would get fit or die trying.  I mean I was dying anyway!  In the last year I have used all kinds of devices to strap on and tape on ice packets and keep the ice on me while keeping on keeping on.  I've taken all kinds of ibuprofin, just to the EDGE of safety, added in some poppy seed extract and just kept going no matter what.  I've had a LOT of swelling and pain, but I've had some good times too.  It's been up and down and all over the map.

I am 7 Million 800 thousand steps a long my path, a few sizes down, and only 12 pounds lighter.  But I look better and feel better...even if I am still in pain.  I just had 2 MRI's this week, one for the knee and one for the ankle.  I spent hours yesterday comparing the images to what I see online.  I am waiting to get into a specialist.  I do not believe I have fibromyalgia!  That's hogwash!!!  I believe that the people in my life convinced me in a variety of ways that I was defective and I lived up to the self fulfilling profecy that they spoon fed me all my life.  The only thing that's defective is my thinking and though I had help, it's up to me to change it.  

That's my story so far....  to be continued 🙂

[WendyB]

@suzilmcmullenI am so sorry you had so many negative people in your life.

I am glad you are looking into whats going on. HAppy you have lost weight too! That's awesome! Keep up the great work and keep us posted as to what the results are when you get them

[suzilmcmullen]

Thanks.  I'm a bit sceptical about doctors.  My experience is that they charge a lot of money to most often say they think it's possibly this or that and way too often for me, they've been wrong.  But I don't want to stay this way.  Today I was feeling great and all week I have been in an upswing pain wise.  But then I decided to try and pass someone at the end of a challenge.  I was only walking 2.9 mph. But that's 1.5 mph faster than I normally walk and my knee hurts more now.  I have ice on it and it's okay.  Monday I have an appointment now to look at the images 🙂

[dcarmen]

suzilmcmullen, so sorry for all the negativity that surrounded you over the years.

I can tell you what worked for me against pain and inflammation, turmeric capsules, I have been taking

them almost a year with no pain and no abuprofen. I hope they help you too.

[suzilmcmullen]

It's worth a try and anti-cancer 🙂

[EdsonFitbit]

Welcome to the Fitbit Community @suzilmcmullen! It's great to have you here! Thank you very much for sharing your story. I can see that you have a lot of courage and the willing to reach your goals. Congratulations for achieving your targets and for fighting against adversity. You are a winner. I wish all your dreams come true. Hope to see you around more often! 

[HelenLondon]

I like to write too)!Before writing an essay or story, I think through not only the plot, but all the small details: the main idea, the structure of the work, etc. By the way, I write down my works in a notebook. My friends do not understand how it can be convenient) But everything is simple: I found a special notebook on the Internet https://onplanners.com/notebooks/best-pocket-notebooks. It is very convenient to register all the details in it, since it was originally designed for planning different situations. Therefore, I am directing in it all the details of my future creation. I advise you to do so, it helps a lot!)

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