Getting Back in the Game

[tiffenerkies]

I guess I'll start with a story, but I do have a question at the end. I'm in need of some advice.

I got my first FitBit last Christmas (2015) and it was a magical experience. Except for showering you couldn't pay me to take it off, even on days when I wasn't being "good" I still wanted all of that invaluable heart rate, sleep, step, etc. data. In January of 2015 I had a Body Fat Percentage (BF%) of 33.7 at my worst. By December of last year I had gotten that down to a BF% of 28.5 (5.2% over 12 months). By the end of May 2016 I had it down to 27.5 on average. For reference, it's (generally accepted) that 25-31% is the "acceptable" body fat percentage range.

In the past (years leading up to 33.7) I had always had trouble dieting or losing weight because I had unintentionally come at it from the angle of hating my weight, my thighs, the way I looked, that I couldn't run to save my life, etc. The reason I was finally able to make the necessary changes were due to a few different things. I graduated from school and started working full time, I was in control of my own diet for what felt like the first time, and I ended a toxic long term relationship. The one factor that really changed though, was focussing on getting myself to be a healthy person. Healthy mind, healthy food (nutritional), healthy goals, and strong body. I tried desperately to let go of the number on the scale in pounds and started focussing more on BF% instead.

From numbers alone, it's evident that for a while that was really working for me. I was getting myself out of the "obese" range, and putting myself through the "acceptable" range in order to be healthier. I wanted to be able to run, now I can. I wanted to be healthy, and I was able to do that for a while.

I was doing pretty well actually until May when I got the stomach flu. That put me out of commission for a week. It was a slow start getting back to the gym afterwards, understandably. I'd lost some muscle and endurance, also definitely energy the first bit. Then June was crazy with work stress. In July I made it to the gym 3-5 days a week and I was going really hard. I was enjoying it but also exhausted. I think I pushed myself a tad too hard, because August-Now has been... just awful. It's been one excuse after another. The battery in my scale died, and I've been too lazy to replace it. I've been stressed at work and feeding off of it instead of using fitness to release all of those healthy chemicals. I've been sleeping a lot more because I'm not sleeping well... The problem is is that now that I've been through the year and a half of dedicating myself to my personal fitness I know all of these are terrible habits. The problem is breaking them. I keep setting timelines, etc. But I'm annoyed at myself now and something's got to give. My fitbit broke a month ago, and I think that was when I really started to notice I was getting lazy. 

I guess what I need to know is if anyone else has ever been through something similar. A long period of sucess (1.5 years or even just a few months) and then randomly just kind of... losing all motivation. It's been almost 4 months where I really haven't been able to light a fire under myself, so to say. I just ordered a new fitbit and I think I'm going to get a new battery for my bathroom scale tomorrow. But can anyone suggest some things that have helped them get out of ruts in the past? I think that might be helpful.

TL;DR- Help me get back in the game. I had really let myself go, then I did really well for over a year and now motivation is a huge issue for me.

[WendyB]

You can do it if you really want to. But Motivation needs to come from with in you.

Figure out what and why and then you will be well on your way

[DanielleinDC]

Besides getting the Fitbit, what got you into the game in the first place? If you can find that again, maybe you can use it to remotivate you.

[A_Lurker]

@tiffenerkies- I think we all have periods where we lose motivation.  Myself, twice in the last decade I've started into weight loss mode and had reasonable success.  I say reasonable because I have a tendency to be an all or nothing kind of a person.  Both times I lost weight, but twice I ended up with medical complications.  The first time it was more of a working out and dieting myself into a lung issue which was just a cold I never kicked because I didn't slow down, didn't stop working out... just making excuses.  I spent weeks in the hospital and never got back on track.  Years later I started again, sadly having learned very little.  Oh, my diet was better this time, but I was still working out too much and eating too little.  Another illness sidetracked me and while they were investiging the cause it was discovered I had another issue that required surgery to fix.  This time I had a medical excuse not to go back to my workout routine.

So, third time the charm (and with way more information) I've started again.  This time I understand more about how many calories I burn each day - it's a lot.  This gives me more information on how much I should eat - more than most people who are trying to lose weight would consider normal.  However, I've had reasonably steady weight loss, and was slightly ill last week and the wheels didn't fall off, and I'm not in the hospital.  Yay me!

No matter if your unmotivated period lasts a week, a year, or a decade... you can start again.  As others have already said, you need to find what motivated you originally.  Depending on your weight/fitness level when you started it could be that you aren't in as rough shape and that could be part of why you are having a tougher time getting motivated.  So, get a new battery for your scale and see where you are.  If you can't do everything, start with one thing. 

[emili]

The only thing I can add to what has already been said is stop giving yourself a timeline. Its the same thing that happens when people say I will start on Monday and pig out the whole weekend in anticipation, Monday rolls around and well nothing lasts when it starts on Monday and so on..

Then the big resolutions start on New Year's day. And they last for five minutes. People love time setting and timelines. Why? Just wake up tomorrow and go do it. No reasons why you should or shouldn't. No excuses. Just go. And then go again the next day. Its the same thing as eating, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, going to work. You just do those things.. no timelines or declarations- you just go do it. Well....just go do this. You know how and you know why- you got this.

[edkiwi]

It sounds cheesy but when I lost weight the hardest part was putting my trainers on and getting outside the front door, once you get moving then the momentum happens 🙂

Personally, my rules for myself are, don't sit down, keep moving and results always come from action 🙂

[Sheila_L]

I know exactly what you mean about motivation.  I am an older lady and have been through this several times in my life!!!  I get really into getting fit and then stop for one reason or another and lose all motivation.  I have found that if you have a friend to exercise with it really helps.  And if you have specific times to do it.  A group of neighbor ladies use to walk at 5:30 every morning (before school, work, etc).  That really helped me.  Also I have gone to classes at the gym that I really liked.  I don't have any friends that walk anymore, but I have found my dog is pretty good at keeping me motivated.  I like being outdoors and so does the dog.  As for diets, I think I have tried every diet that there is.  I have just learned to eat what I like but not in excess.  I know that's hard to do, but it works for me.  Good luck with all this.  I think when we are taking care of our bodies, we feel better and are happier about life.

[userzero]

Here's a summary of the lengthy read:

    1. Have a goal - this will give you direction.
    2. Find a why - this will keep you in the game when you'd otherwise quit.
    3. Take small manageable steps towards that goal, and enjoy the victories along the way - this will make a goal that you may find insurmountable more manageable. It will also help build momentum on your way to that goal.
    
    
Here's a bit of personal context...

So, find a why...sounds stupid, right?... find a why? WTFrak

I used to scoff when I heard that.

Not anymore.

I used to spend a LOT of time training - 10 or more hours a week.... strength, cardio, HIIT.

If people didn't know where I was, "the gym" was their go to assumption.

Then... I had kids... I'm not sure how people do it with kids, but by adding them into the mix my training came to such an abrupt hault that there was no screeching. It just stopped.

I went from 1~2 hours a day X six days a week to maybe 1 hour a month of exercise. Nutrition went from 6 structured meals daily to eating whatever whenever. I got a dad bod... ultimately gained 30 lbs over 24 months.

I'd make efforts to get back into the gym, but it always felt like 1 step forward and two backwards which was a huge mental dissuasion... an hour a month, what's the point?

Last year, my doctor actually prescribed me exercise... ME...EXERCISE!

This year, I knocked out a few Spartan races that I had signed up for (couldn't not do 'em)... let me tell you, they're brutal when you're fit and are way worse when you're not.

None of that really got me back "to the gym".

I've heard "Find a why" from several sources over the years, most recently the Spartan Up! podcasts and a book called "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle".

I never really had a 'why' when it came to training/fitness... it was just something that I liked to do.

It turns out that simply enjoying something isn't always enough motivation to actually do it when the going gets tough.

I decided to not scoff at the notion this time and to actually think of "whys" to get to the gym... I found a pretty compelling why... my kids.

I want to be healthy and fit for them so that I can be there for them as long as possible and so that I can set a positive example for them and encourage them to be fit now, because what they see and learn today is going to affect them for the rest of their lives. I also want to be able to keep up with them when they get older, and maybe even give them a run for their money 🙂

Most importantly, I want them to be proud of me.

When I'm having an off day and don't feel like working out, I just think about that and it gives me the push I need to get going.

That's not to say that it makes things easy, it doesn't. It's still a struggle, but the "why"  makes the difference between throwing in the towel and pushing through it.

Right after finding a why, i'd say that taking small steps and enjoying the victory of achieving them is the next important thing...

For me, the fitbit has helped a lot - on days where I wasn't 8500+ steps by 9:00 PM ET (most days), I'd write the day off as a loss "better luck tomorrow". After finding my why though, I noticed that I started hitting fitbit goals. It was almost immediate and a fairly subconscious change.

Once I started hitting all of my goals on a daily basis more often then I missed them, something else changed... that 8500 step threshold dissapeared; even if I was nowhere close to my goal, I'd spend as long as I needed walking around the house to get it (spent an hour once or twice).  It's a mental boost to see those 5 stupid green circles light up every day, it's a bigger boost when you scroll through the days and they're consistantly all litup.

With the new found  motiviation I found from those green circles, it was back to the gym.

That's where I'm at now... proper training is still tough to get in, but I've built up that foundation of motivation, stemming from having compelling reason to do it. These days, I hit my fitbit goals way more often then I miss them and most weeks I come pretty close to my 5 out of 7 workout goal.  I'm also tracking food on the fitbit app. I'm being more mindeful of what I eat and the full fledged nutrition plan is on the horizon.

-Z