How do u deal with jealousy?

[overweightlover]

Jealousy- how do u deal with it?  It is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety of great personal value for whatever reason. OKay we understand that as mature adults, but it often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust, but how do we deal with it? Lets just say u lost 10-40 pounds and u didnt do anything diffrerent in your everyday- to day actions and and u receive pure jealousy( your old enough to recognize it), What would u do, how would u handle it? Just curious,should people be telling u how u should or shouldn't dress? What if u dress just the same as before u lost weight and nobody ever cared before. Comments appreciated, open to honesty. Thanks in advance

[Sqweezl]

It would be so easy to drop a cliche "don't worry about what others think" line here, but we all know what it is like to be the biggest person in the room. I know this is going to sound weird and hippie-ish, but I try to meditate and center myself every night. Focus on what brings you down and stresses you out, and adjust your perceptions so that obstacles become little opportunities. Achieving little daily successes will give you a confidence that other people will notice way more than a love handle.

For example: anger and jealousy directed at that coworker with the trim waistline can become your workout ammo, allowing you to push a little harder every day to achieve your goals. Or successfully making a deadline for a particularly stressful assignment at work/ school can give you a satisfaction that no candy bar ever will.

[DivaG]

Hi KiKi,

I'm dealing with similar issues at work. There are some people in the world who assume everything is about them. Don't get sucked into it. What works for me (some of my co-workers are hating like it's their job) is for me to keep to myself. As in keeping chit chat to the customary politeness (good morning, etc) and keep everything else work related. I do not show my inner happiness at work, because it's a liability. I don't "hide my light", but I make sure I don't shine it near those hateful folks.  Sadly, it works. Since I am a very vivacious person, me being quiet lets them think I'm upset. Not dealing with the negativity frees up my mind to be more creative, focused, and relaxed at work.

I don't mean to sound preachy, but I'll be 45 in a few months, & this is what works for me.  It's taken me my entire professional life (over 20 years) to figure this out.

Good luck to you, and I hope I've given you a new perspective.

G-

[TandemWalker]

Hi @overweightlover  - Cliche or not, I fully agree with @Sqweezl - I just ignore them. Let me relate my own little story here, as briefly as I can jot it down.  I lost about 45 pounds over the last 18 months or so. I just decided one December 2012 that 213 lbs at 5' 10", was way too much weight to carry; and put in place a plan of action that would allow me to get fitter and ear better. Fitbit played a big part into achieving this, primarily because it allows me to become more conscious of my habit and the need, the urgent need, for a paradighm shift.

I bought new clothes, I look better, I feel better, and I am a lot happier.

I am retired, so I don't have work colleagues to contend with. But I have neighbours. The see my wife and I coming back from our one-hour long walk. They see me taking off a few minutes later for another 1.5 hour walk/jog interval workout, They see me getting on the bike for my 15-20 miles bicycle run. They see me working in the garden, but toned up arms and a tight fit ... And guess what! They're not shy to express their sentiments, trust me. Not all do, but some did - "Look at him, is like a f... machine!"  or "Hey, don't over do it bud, you might blow a gasket..."  Or they'll just look at me as I pass by with a bit of a sneer!

Do I notice them? Of course I do and the more I do, the more I laugh!  You also have to consider the source. Other neighbours who, like us, try their best to stay in shape and healthy, compare notes with us and always greet our effort with genuine enthusiam. Those are the ones I pay attention to.

[WendyB]

I agree with  @Sqweezl and @TandemWalker  I ignore them. Its not worth my time. If they say something I say thanks and just walk away.

[overweightlover]

I spoke with a co-worker today who told me he had lost 46lbs  and he was so happy that I asked him how much he had lost. Can u believe, nobody said anything to him about losing 46lbs as if they didn't even notice? I was in aww, like how could no one notice, that is just bull. He said the closest compliment he got was someone saying "oh, you look like your getting younger"  I said wow people can be so hateful. I mean this guy was carrying so much weight he was walking with a limp and now he is up and moving all over the place. there is no way u could not notice.

[overweightlover]

I don't worry about what other think too much, but when people come after u and it effects the way u function, that is what I recognize as a problem.

---

Sqweezl wrote:

It would be so easy to drop a cliche "don't worry about what others think" line here, but we all know what it is like to be the biggest person in the room. I know this is going to sound weird and hippie-ish, but I try to meditate and center myself every night. Focus on what brings you down and stresses you out, and adjust your perceptions so that obstacles become little opportunities. Achieving little daily successes will give you a confidence that other people will notice way more than a love handle.

For example: anger and jealousy directed at that coworker with the trim waistline can become your workout ammo, allowing you to push a little harder every day to achieve your goals. Or successfully making a deadline for a particularly stressful assignment at work/ school can give you a satisfaction that no candy bar ever will.

---

[overweightlover]

---

@DivaG wrote:

Hi KiKi,

I'm dealing with similar issues at work. There are some people in the world who assume everything is about them. Don't get sucked into it. What works for me (some of my co-workers are hating like it's their job) is for me to keep to myself. As in keeping chit chat to the customary politeness (good morning, etc) and keep everything else work related. I do not show my inner happiness at work, because it's a liability. I don't "hide my light", but I make sure I don't shine it near those hateful folks.  Sadly, it works. Since I am a very vivacious person, me being quiet lets them think I'm upset. Not dealing with the negativity frees up my mind to be more creative, focused, and relaxed at work.

I don't mean to sound preachy, but I'll be 45 in a few months, & this is what works for me.  It's taken me my entire professional life (over 20 years) to figure this out.

Good luck to you, and I hope I've given you a new perspective.

G-

---

Okay, i really understand where u are coming from.

[overweightlover]

---

@TandemWalker wrote:

Hi @overweightlover  - Cliche or not, I fully agree with @Sqweezl - I just ignore them. Let me relate my own little story here, as briefly as I can jot it down.  I lost about 45 pounds over the last 18 months or so. I just decided one December 2012 that 213 lbs at 5' 10", was way too much weight to carry; and put in place a plan of action that would allow me to get fitter and ear better. Fitbit played a big part into achieving this, primarily because it allows me to become more conscious of my habit and the need, the urgent need, for a paradighm shift.

I bought new clothes, I look better, I feel better, and I am a lot happier.

I am retired, so I don't have work colleagues to contend with. But I have neighbours. The see my wife and I coming back from our one-hour long walk. They see me taking off a few minutes later for another 1.5 hour walk/jog interval workout, They see me getting on the bike for my 15-20 miles bicycle run. They see me working in the garden, but toned up arms and a tight fit ... And guess what! They're not shy to express their sentiments, trust me. Not all do, but some did - "Look at him, is like a f... machine!"  or "Hey, don't over do it bud, you might blow a gasket..."  Or they'll just look at me as I pass by with a bit of a sneer!

Do I notice them? Of course I do and the more I do, the more I laugh!  You also have to consider the source. Other neighbours who, like us, try their best to stay in shape and healthy, compare notes with us and always greet our effort with genuine enthusiam. Those are the ones I pay attention to.

---

Well, that is just what i did today, I was cordial but I ignored and I realize that for every hater i have, I also have a lover. There are still good clean hearted people out there who love u for who u are like the lady I work with who bought me my fitbit. It was one of the best gifts I ever got and if she didnt buy it, I cant say i would even be typing this now because it wasn't something that i asked for. It was something she wanted me to have because she knows im a good person.

[overweightlover]

...............................................................

[dollyj]

people are bad and frustrated don't listen to them hun xx

[dollyj]

If you love yourself and you know who you are, you'll never be jealous of someone else. Remember this. This frequently happens in friendships and when something like this occurs my advice is to leave that person. It happened to me and I've stayed longer than I should. These people are toxic, unhappy with themselves and frustrated. I even know a case like this but it was in a relationship. Jealousy is often present in a relationship but not the type you've described. Anyways, this can ruin the romantic relationship just as much. In this case, if you can't get over it or your partner can't... you should either break up or try until you're done with it 🙂 I recently read this article about jealousy in romantic relationship https://breakupangels.com/get-over-your-jealousy-and-save-your-relationship/ and it just came to my mind I had to say it :))

[JuanJoFitbit]

I totally agree with everybody. You don't need to pay attention to negative comments. Many people have a lot of free time nowadays and unfortunately they spent their free time trying to make other people bad.

I assume that those people don't buy your food, your clothes or pay your bills, so I would recommend to avoid those people if they're not contributing with positive vibes to your life.

Time is too short to be worried about other people's jealousy.

Hope you stay safe and see you around! 😀