how do you find time?

[momzy]

I have let my job take over my life. I used to work out every day at 5am but no longer can find the energy to get up that early. I usually start work at 7 or 8am and find myself working into the night. I also have a dog who would love to go for walks but I cannot find myself getting out of bed in the morning. I normally work on weekends as well and have very little time to get my personal things done. 

[Mukluk4]

The moment you realize that your job doesn't define who you are, you'll find the time.

[Alicat2104]

I make sure I have a healthy home / work balance. Work is 0800-1700 Mon-Fri and outside of that is MY time.  No job is worth wrecking your health & life for.

[WendyB]

Ditto what the others said. Work is not worth it if you cant make time for your self

[Heather-S]

Agreed.  I finally deleted my work email from my (personal) cell phone because the sound of getting new emails was giving me anxiety.  My health is important, so I prioritize the gym and I also make time for my dogs, with walks and cuddles, because they deserve that time with me after they spend all day alone at home.  

[SunsetRunner · Accepted solution]

I've been there. My work-life balance was pretty much non-existent for almost 3 years. Departing early morning, almost 2 hours commute, then work in the office, overtime ( really mad time in my career ) and late night commute back home. No energy for anything and I was about to quit ( if things can't change then there isn't anything better to do but changing the job ) but then I got redundant, rehired working for a different department with sane management. No overtime ( ok, very rarely ). Then I moved to the town I work and now I live walking distance from the office. Still, it doesn't mean I do more work as any overtime has to go through the chain of approvals. Suddenly, I find time for everything and feel like I am finally in control. Morning gym, cooking delicious food from scratch at home during lunch break etc.

Back then, when I still used to commute but the overtime madness ended, I tried to regain the control by making a schedule of my day. This way I could see the busiest time and any gaps I could fill with any activities. Still, being time constrained I had to have quite a good plan. I started using check-lists. Morning checklist, lunchtime checklist, evening one too. I found it quite a discovery how much time is wasted when we can't decide what to do next while when it's just yet another box to tick - no stress and magically I found more time to actually add more items to my checklists. I still use this technique to keep myself organized and make sure I maintain a certain routine.

Waking up early was always a problem for me. Still sometimes is but I'm fighting an urge to stay longer in bed. Although, it's not totally mindless and if I know I had a rough night, not enough or bad quality rest - I'm not fighting it. Sleep is very important. What I do now and did before is using Fitbit vibration alarm. I set it to an earlier time than I plan to wake up. There is also another alarm set on my phone but the point is that it must not ring. Otherwise, it's going to wake up my wife who is not willing to be an early bird 😉 Then again - checklist and multi-tasking. The faster you move, the more awake you become. In my case, 30 minutes and I must be out of my place, out of my comfort zone that yells "come back to bed and take a short nap" 😉

It all had to become "a ritual". If I miss anything, I feel as if things are a bit off. My day doesn't feel right. When I was spending 4-5 hours daily on commuting and 8-10 hours working it was hard but schedule made me realize that there are some gaps of time to fill.

What made it easier for me is that I can't work from home. Everything is strictly confidential and only in case of emergency some work can be done remotely. It means I have no access to my work email outside the office and I never receive calls from the office when I'm off. It helps not to take work home. Home is home, work is work. The sooner we separate these two worlds the better.

On the other hand, if maintaining healthy work-life balance isn't possible then a change of career may be a good idea. After all, we work to live, not live to work 😉

[MagsOnTheBeach]

I learned I'll never find time; I have to carve it out.  I have kids and a spouse and I work, but for 30-60 minutes 5 days a week I selfishly call the time for myself.  Good luck.

[GershonSurge]

---

@momzy wrote:

I have let my job take over my life. I used to work out every day at 5am but no longer can find the energy to get up that early. I usually start work at 7 or 8am and find myself working into the night. I also have a dog who would love to go for walks but I cannot find myself getting out of bed in the morning. I normally work on weekends as well and have very little time to get my personal things done. 

---

Sounds like you became a housewife as the term was used 50 or 60 years ago. Then no-contest divorces became legal.

[Daves_Not_Here]

Hard truth / good news:  every single person on the planet, regardless of circumstance or wealth has 24 hours of time per day in which to live their lives.  Completely level playing field.  And, how we choose to allocate our 24 hours is largely within our control.

A single mother, raising 3 children while working 2 full-time jobs, has severe constraints on her time.  The rest of us have it easier.  If we cannot "find time" to take care of ourselves, then we are not coping well with the ordinary demands of life, and the lack of self-care will result in a further downward spiral.

Trust me - I've been there.  Many people currently are there.  At this point, you don't need to "find time", you need to recognize the malaise and take some minimal action to break it.  Activity over attitude, start with the easiest stuff:

• Increase activity - take short breaks to walk at work.  Walk 5 minutes in the morning.  
• Eat less crap -- certain foods cause an emotional crash (donuts) -- reduce those
• Reduce drugs, alcohol, addictions, workaholism - reduce whatever activities leave you emotionally diminished.  work only those hours you are paid and obligated to work.
• Serve others - reconnect with people who will be glad to hear from you
• Seek medical help - if you are depressed, know that it is very treatable if you can muster the will to seek it.

Bottom line: don't wait until you feel better to move, move to feel better.

[emili]

@momzy it is easier said than done to just let it go and work a set schedule. I think everyone at one time or another has invested more time into work than into other critical areas of their life. But here is the thing, the only person who can rate importance of what fills your time is you. If you are solving world hunger or curing cancer it is probably harder to step away. If you are answering emails that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, filling out spreadsheets or finalizing contracts.. well, all that will be there when you are done doing everything else that is equally if not more important. Start small. Pick two days of the week and one day of the weekend to work a set time and nothing more. Leave the house for the rest of the time. Walk your dog, walk yourself, go to the gym, see a movie, anything that will keep you occupied and thinking about things other than work. You have to start somewhere and the only person who can start is you... so go do it.

[momzy]

Thank you. All the responses are really making me think. Very poor life work balance and I know it is affecting my health and happiness. I will try your approach and see how I do.

Sent from my iPhone