Emotional Eating: Comforting Yourself With Food

[SunsetRunner]

Hi, this is my third post. I wondered if anyone has conquered emotional eating or is managing it? And, if so, would you share what works for you? When I was a child, if I fell off my bike or had to go to the dentist, my Mom would give me a cookie or take me out for ice cream. I know this is a learned behavior as my Mom also was raised this way. And, I know it can be unlearned. Although, it is a lifetime habit which is incredibly difficult to break. I made a post on my Facebook timeline about this subject and one friend wrote in my post comments: "Sometimes I eat, because I am hungry. Other times I eat because I want to: stay awake, stay focused, celebrate a shared moment, stay calm, get energy, to follow a routine, or to get more because it is just that good. Or, because I feel: stressed (hot drinks soothe), worried/nervous/anxious, apathetic (mmm sugar), healthy happy and well (I feel healthy enough to consume some toxic calories), powerless, sleepy, alone (me and my chocolate bar), or sorry for myself. Almost like calories are a living entity, and here I am in a codependent relationship..." Can anyone relate? Can anyone help replace this bad habit with new positive healthy habits? Thanks.

[Glenda · Accepted solution]

Shari,  That is an interesting question.  It sounds to me that you want comfort of eating for  an emotion that your thoughts are causing you to have and instead you could change what you are choosing to think about  Sometimes once I get started it is just "what am I eating next".  No excuse.  I never felt I needed one.  Physical pain like falling off a bike is definitely different from emotional pain.  If you are hurt and in pain you have less control over what you are thinking.  Usually though you can choose what you think about.  You could prepare yourself with some cheerful things switch your thinking to if you are just sad, anxious or depressed and think chocolate would help.   I had a list of "blessings I used to switch to from grief.  They were in order of importance, things I am grateful for (that everyone has that we know) but also if you sort through your life to pick out moments you were most happy.  Someone wrote that most thoughts of the past are negative.  But  the actual moment your were getting married, or taking a new baby home from the hospital,  winning at sports, graduating??  Good moments you can choose the rethink instead of whatever you were thinking about that caused you to need comfort.  Or you could switch your thinking to things you are grateful for which seems easier and better maybe.   

            Maybe you have already rejected this idea as unworkable for you or it doesn't fit.  But you might enjoy a list of things you might also be grateful for.  (1)  health (2) clean water to drink (3) paying taxes because that means you are not homeless.  You have electricity, heat, air conditioning, a cook stove, refrigerator with food in it,  washer, dryer, clothes, shoes,  a phone, car and fuel. (4) luxuries of TV , computer, google, flush toilet  (5) Lots of books for everyone, and recorded music, sports or exercise equipment.  (6)  I'm grateful for artificial sweeteners and plastic.  ............I've forgotten something.

            Anyway maybe you will start feeling lucky and not in need of comfort???

[SunsetRunner]

Thank you, Glenda.  You are right about changing what I am choosing to think about. It's true.  I have a difficult time during the holidays, because I miss my Mom.  When I've gotten sad before, I have done what you suggested, I changed my thoughts and it works.  I just never thought to do it when I felt like comforting myself with food.  This is a game changer.  I can do this!  

[Sunstrider]

I have a similar problem, so you're not alone, Shari!
Have been an emotional eater since 12. 

Every time you have the urge to eat, stop and think: "Am I really hungry?" If not then do something that keeps your mind occupied, as well as your hands. Books or Netflix won't help. Exercise, writing, drawing, sewing - are some things I've found to be effective.
I'm also avoiding processed sugar, candy, white flour etc. I find I get hooked those foods and especially crave them. 

Wish you luck, Shari, and don't be ashamed of it. 

[SunsetRunner]

Sunstrider, you are very kind and supportive and I really appreciate you.  Thanks for sharing your great advice which I will put into practice.  And, thanks for saying not to be ashamed.