Binge Eating

[H2468]

Hi there,

    This is my first post and I’m honestly a little scared. I don’t know what to do. I’m 18 years old and have been struggling with several different types of eating disorders since I was about 15. I’ve probably hit the worst of it right at this moment. I previously had lost about 15 pounds in two months. It was easy and I did it almost mindlessly. Then the weight came back on as I tried to lose even more weight. I also have a twin sister that I love, but she has always been the skinny one. Sometimes I feel like we mentally compete over who can eat less. Over the past few years I’ve gained those 15 lbs back plus an addition 5 lbs. I’ve tried everything and the only thing that seems to work is restriction. I’ve hit a hard low. I’m 5’6”, 145 pounds, I work out 5/7 days per week (I’m a rower) for 2 hours averaging 12,000 steps per day, and I intake 1200 calories per day. I feel tired all the time and horrible about myself and I’m so food focused all the time. Additionally, I’m in the stressful college process and constantly worried about my college decisions. I guess I’m just reaching out for support. This disorder is my biggest secret and I’ve hidden it from my family for years. I don’t know how to get better and quite honestly, I’m not sure if I’m in the mindset to do so. 

[Dominique]

Welcome to the community, @H2468 !

Let’s have a look at the positives: 1) you are aware of your binge eating issue, which is an important step (many people are in denial of the issues they have), 2) even if you’ve gained weight lately, your weight is still at a perfectly normal level for your height (145 lbs translates into a BMI of 23.4). Have you considered seeking help from a mental health professional? Try not to benchmark yourself against your twin sister. Just because she’s very thin doesn’t mean you have to be as thin as her.

[SunsetRunner]

I hear you.  I've struggled with eating disorders from one end of the spectrum to the other for over 25 years.

I have a very messed up relationship with food. I love it, and I hate it. It makes me feel good, and it makes me feel terrible. I get excited about eating, and I dread eating. I hate being hungry, and I hate being full.

I'm either miserable because I'm full or miserable because I'm hungry. That's basically my entire day.  It's a horrible way to live.  

I wish I had more answers.  I wish I had them for you as well as for myself.  So many of us struggle silently with eating disorders, and it really shouldn't be that way.   😞 

[FitWiz]

I think most of us have at one time or another had to face eating disorders......either binge eating or not eating at all......I've been overweight a big part of my life.  And I've always been active with either women's softball, soccer or gym activities.   It's just within the past two years I've become religiously active at my gym and joined a weight-loss support group.  This is the most successful I've been during my entire lifetime.  I plan to continue.    I would suggest to you that you find a group of other young women to meet with to discuss your issues with and to be confidentially truthful.   You have a bright future ahead of you and so much to look forward to.   Take care of you and resist comparing yourself to your sister.   There's only one you!    Good luck to you!

[SNS3530]

First of all, thank you for your honesty. It can be really hard to manage this type of thing while you're in school. My sister and I are close in age and are at college together. She developed an unhealthy relationship with food after a break-up and went from probably 130 to barely a hundred over a few months. (We're very short, like 5'3" tops, so the transformation was pretty shocking). There was a brief period of time where she had to be stoned to eat a meal. (It's legal here) Even now at 105ish pounds and insanely thin she feels bloated and is obsessed with getting stronger and more toned. Her goal this year is to have a better relationship with food, but that's hard to do in college when you're praised for being so skinny and there is junk food and alcohol everywhere. I guess this is all to say you aren't alone. Our campus just held a "Love Your Body Week" with events, workshops, and a craft night to help students like my sister seek resources or support others. I know the "surround yourself with positive people" is cheesy, but it really does help. Food is something she can control when life is chaotic, but when she has people she feels like she can lean on, she doesn't feel the need to try and control it so much. Getting better isn't a straight line, there are good days and bad. My question is what is the best way to be there for someone who is trying to recover? I don't want to unintentionally pressure or guilt her. I never want her to feel judged.