Can't Get My Head Right

[SunsetRunner]

Man, I'm really struggling. I lost a bunch of weight, gained a bit back, started getting things back under control then covid hit. While initially laid off I am now working remotely. To make matters worse I am completely isolated. A 47 yr old divorced single male empty nester working from home during a pandemic... LOL. 

I have everything I need. An Olympic weight bench, dumbells, treadmill, stationary bike, and of course my Fitbit. The one thing I lack is willpower. I used to have willpower, it helped me lose better than 50 lbs. I don't know what happened to it. The desire is there, it is just the willpower has diminished. 

Working from home gives me more time to work out in my home gym, yet I can't bring myself to work out when it is time. Another bad habit is I stress eat. I keep my kitchen stocked with healthy food yet at the end of a stressful day I would rather go to McDonald's. Quick and easy.

I'm up to 250 pounds and even have weird pains in my chest sometimes. Never experienced that before. If I stay on the path I'm on I'm certain I'm going to make myself sick. Yet, I don't seem to be able to get my head on straight. 

I think being so isolated is a big part of the problem. Decided to look for some online weight loss groups, and honestly, FitBit is about as good as it gets. If you're looking for online friends to support you through your weight loss add me. I'll support you. I know what it is like to need human interaction during this process, and I'll totally be there for you whoever you are.

I think I am half looking for support from the FitBit community and half just trying to get these thoughts out in the physical world so something can be done with them. I guess that's a long way of saying "down on paper". But, this isn't paper...LOL. 

I'm totally aware that I need to be accountable for myself and my own actions. I normally am. Just hitting a brick wall here. Need to bust out of this "funk". 

[SunsetRunner]

I'm in sort of the same boat. I do go to work but I'm the only one there.  I have a friend that I meet for a 15 minute coffee outside every morning but that's about the only social interaction I get in a day.  My son was my gym buddy and accountability partner, but he passed away 3 years ago, so I have lived alone ever since.  I stepped on the scale this morning and cried.  I am the heaviest I have ever been. My gym, which I absolutely loved going to is closed, and there is no sign of the restrictions lifting anytime soon.  I have back, hip and knee issues and not going to the gym is making them soooo much worse and I is now affecting my mobility. I'm an introvert but this forced "ultra-introversion" is seriously taking its toll on me.   

I have absolutely no motivation to get myself in order.  This is so unlike me. I started logging my food today and keeping it to 1500 calories and focusing on drinking my water.   This week, I am trying to convince myself to go for walks around the neighbourhood.  

Maybe if we type it out, it will help.  

[SunsetRunner]

I'm truly sorry about your son. I think you're right about typing it out. Especially in this dystopian type situation we find ourselves in these days. Like you I'm naturally introverted, but this whole covid thing is just over the top. 

Like you I'm in freak out mode over my weight. I'm not getting any younger. Don't want to live what years I have left in this misery.

I plan to get in the gym before work tomorrow. I know I'll feel better if I just do it. Gotta get my eating under control too. Right now I find 2000 calories helps me drop a pound or 2 a week. It's sticking to it that's the problem. 

Let me know if you go for that walk. I'd like to know if it helped you. 

[Glenda]

@SunsetRunner @SunsetRunner   I admire anyone with ANY willpower.  I'm sorry about your loss of your son too.  But will power and determination, even guilt doesn't last.  To do something long term you need to find some way you can enjoy it.  With diet you need to work at finding some new favorite foods that are lower in calories.  Substitute frozen blueberries and sweetened plain fat free greek yogurt for ice cream.  It is just as good.    I don't like anything about any exercise but I have been exercising every day for decades because I can avoid feeling guilty about  wasting time on the couch reading & instead read on my treadmill or bike.     So put your head into this matter and figure out a way to solve this problem without will power.   

[SunsetRunner]

Thank you both!  I picked up my groceries on my way home from work, no chips, no cookies (yay me!).  I came unloaded them, fed my cats, then had a chicken breast with a bagel because I hadn't had time for lunch today.  For desert, I had watermelon, cantaloupe and honeydew melon cubes (for some reason, melon satisfies my sugar cravings) .  I went upstairs and one of my cats puked all over my bed (sigh), so stripping my bed and washing everything will be my exercise for today (My bedroom is upstairs, and my laundry room is in the basement so lots of stairs, and then trying to get sheets on a bed when you have cats, is a workout in itself.  

I know what needs to be done, I have worked in health care for decades.  I once was chitchatting with a doctor, I can't remember if he was a psychiatrist or a psychologist, but he told me that he always recommended a walk outside (no sunglasses) to help with depression.  For some reason, the sunlight hitting the retina (don't look directly into the sun, of course), helped with depression.  Even better if you can do it where there is greenery and wildlife - birds etc.  Every single friend with depression that I told, took this advice and they now swear by it.  I am fortunate not to have to deal with depression, but if these people feel good after their walk outside, then surely it will do me some good, too.  I know going to the gym is of huge benefit to me.  

I have a fridge full of healthy, reasonable food that I enjoy. I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday.  I am not going to focus on the scale for a couple of weeks - just going to work on getting my patterns sorted so I can build my healthy routine again.  Eating properly, drinking my water, and doing some physical activity.  The scale will have to wait for a bit.  

[SunsetRunner]

I stayed up a little later than I should have last night and didn't get my workout in this morning. I'll definitely get to bed at a decent time tonight in an effort to turn this thing around. I'm glad you're feeling better today. I actually went outside at lunch today to soak up a little sun. There won't be much in the coming days here. Good tip. Lately, I've pondered just what you were saying. I should step away from the scale and focus on getting my habits in order. I did make a healthy meal tonight. Stayed below 400 calories for breakfast and lunch.

I know what you mean by melons curing your sweet tooth. I love them, but only a few weeks out of the year when they're really ripe and sweet. They sure hit the spot. I like those little tangerines, or navels or whatever they are too called Cuties. They really help with my sweet tooth. Are you planning to go walk tomorrow?

[SunsetRunner]

Solving the problem without willpower is an interesting concept. I don't really like to exercise all that much, but I do love bicycling. I have this weird fear of dogs and being struck from behind by a car though.... LOL. You have a point though, and bicycling is something I would just do because I like to do it if I can feel safe. I have a lot of food hacks I've come up with. My issue is if it is healthy it almost always needs to be prepared. I just need to get over my stress eating. When I have a bad day I have a terrible habit of just grabbing what's quick. What do you do with the blueberries and yogurt? Just put plain blueberries on it or do you use a glaze? Do you just add sweetener to the yogurt and freeze it? Does it really come out like ice cream? That would be an excellent workaround if so.  

[SunsetRunner]

Hey Daymon, great suggestion from Glenda. I just started eating overnight oats with fat free Greek yogurt. It's awesome, the recipe I'm using is: 1/2 cup of old fashioned oats, 1/2 cup of almond milk or milk of your choice, 1/4 cup of fat free plain Greek yogurt, 1/4 cup of blueberries, I use a couple packets of stevia or a little honey.  Gently stir. I make it before I go to bed and leave it in the fridge overnight. I eat it in the morning for breakfast and it keeps me full until lunch. You can use any type of fruit. I use frozen berries. It would be good anytime. Take care.

[SunsetRunner]

That sounds like it would be a good snack as well. Thanks for the tip! Do you heat it up before eating it or just eat it cold out of the fridge?

[SunsetRunner]

I eat it cold out of the fridge. Heating it up in the microwave sounds good, too.

[JuanFitbit]

Hi everyone. 

@SunsetRunner @SunsetRunner Sometimes we all feel down or with a lack of willpower. This happens to the best of us too. With the current situation we have another issue that is out of our hands (in some way) . 

I'm the opinion that as social beings that humans are, we need sometimes someone to inspire us or give us that push to start something.  At this time this is more difficult as usual. 

@SunsetRunner  You mentioned that you like cycling. This could be your starter for inspiration and willpower. The fear of dogs and being hit is normal, but as everything, with more experience, you can face the fear later on.  You could start biking just around the corner. This could help you get inspired to start your indoor training again. 

@SunsetRunner I'm sorry about your loss. It's not going to be easy. But you already started with the change. The first step is always the hardest one. You already searched for professional help and that good. Now is up to you to get inspire to continue the path you already started. 

Keep it up guys and good luck. 

[SunsetRunner]

Hello @JuanFitbit ; I have not searched for professional help.  I fortunately didn't need it.  The conversation I had with the psychologist was as a result of my work - I work in health care so I have lots of conversations with all sorts of health professionals.  

@SunsetRunner I was planning on going for a walk today as its nice weather here, but I've done something to my right foot and it's sore and puffy today.  No bruising and I can still weight bear on it, but I can't get my shoe on without discomfort, so I am going to do some stretching today.  I have managed to stay at or below 1500 calories for 3 days so far, and have gotten all my water in as well, so yay me!  

[SunsetRunner]

Glad you're moving in the right direction! I hope your foot gets better soon. I've done better with my eating the past couple of days too. Today I was just thinking how long the road ahead is going to be. The flipside of that is I can be much healthier next year at this time, or be the same. Or worse. I think I'll go with healthier. Guess it's time to face the music.

"Wherever you find yourself... at some point in time you made an appointment to be there."  ~Les Brown

[JuanFitbit]

@SunsetRunner  I apologize for the misunderstanding. But I'm glad that you had the support needed. I wish you to get better with your foot, and with @SunsetRunner to keep on the right track! 

I'm inspire with this kind of stories. 

Keep it up !

[Glenda]

Put frozen blueberries in a bowl, then the Greek yogurt & some sweetener maybe.  Stir and eat.  The frozen berries almost freeze the yogurt.  It is very low in calories compared to some ice cream.