How Do You Prevent Yourself From Falling Back Into Old Habits During Times of Stress?

[SunsetRunner]

Last year I lost 10 lbs. and kept it off for 10 months.  My plateau turned into maintenance for 6 months.  At that point, I gave up.  Then, 2020 arrived and I gained the 10 lbs. back during the quarantine and from continuous stress with all that's going on with covid and the riots.  I avoid the news as much as possible.  But, a couple of times, I came upon it online while looking for something else.  I find myself in a cycle that I can't break.  I eat healthy, exercise, lose weight, can't stand eating clean, have a treat, go back into old eating habits.  Repeat ad nauseam.  Sometimes I plateau for weeks or months and get discouraged and give up.  I self-sabotage and I'm trying to get to the root of why I don't want to lose weight.  If I want something bad enough, I go after it regardless of difficulty until I reach my goal.  I wish I there was something I could tell myself that would give me the determination to lose the weight permanently and maintain my goal weight for the rest of my life.  I'm 57 years old.  I was thin until I turned 47.  I slowly gained a pound or two over the years after my daughter went to college.  But, I managed it.  But, the past three years I gained 10 lbs. each year for a total of 30 lbs. after my Mom passed away.  I need to lose 30 lbs. to reduce borderline blood pressure.  All suggestions are welcome.  Thank you for your time and help.  Shari

[SunsetRunner]

P.S.  I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and never gained weight.  So, I've had 57 years of bad eating habits formed from childhood.  If was upset or injured or had a tooth pulled, my parents would give me a cookie or ice cream to comfort me.  My Mom struggled with weight her whole life and a lot of family members, on both sides of the family, have struggled too.  I don't blame my parents.  I am responsible as an adult to take better care of myself.  I haven't found what works for me...yet.  

[Brianshelvey]

You will find out what will work for you with my time ... i go to the gym to burn out calories. 

[SunsetRunner]

Thanks so much, Brian.  I've decided to repeat healthy behaviors, despite failures, until they become  new habits.

[DavideFitbit]

Thank you for sharing your experience @SunsetRunner, I think many of us can relate to your experience in some degree as well. 

I was able to loose 30 pounds a few years ago after a lot of hard work and diet, but next year I regained 10 pounds and felt demotivated. I was able to loose an extra 15 pounds doing what you mentioned (repeating good habits and just getting used to them), but it's important to note that this is a process, and it takes longer for some of us than it does to others. 

The key to maintain the ideal weight that we feel comfortable with is motivation, I always lost weight and then regained some of it the next couple of months, and it was only after I learned to love and understand the importance of Healthy eating and exercise and I was able to brake the cicle. 

Maybe sharing your experience here in the forums will be of help! It's always good to hear what others are doing and we can certainly learn from our own mistakes and learn from other people's mistakes and points of view too. 😃

I hope to see you around more often in the Community. 

[Lindaann65]

I'm doing the same thing. I need to somehow quit sabotaging by progress. I make a little progress and then gain it back. Very frustrating.

[OctaviaH]

I keep reminding myself of my "why?" It was my reason for losing the weight, and it's still the reason for keeping it off so that I don't go back my old weight. I keep a picture of me at my old weight on the fridge as a major motivator. Try it, and let me know how it works for you.

[AC363904]

Learn stress management. Try cognitive behavioral therapy. If you don't manage your stress, you will always have this issue. Try something new every few weeks to see what works best for you! Journaling, knitting, walking, music, yoga, meditate, pray, distraction, gardening, calling a friend/family member to vent, therapy, boxing, play with your pet, read, deep breathing...ect ect. None of those require food. Try em and see! My personal stress reliever is deep breathing, distractions, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Good luck!

[SunsetRunner]

Thank you for the encouragement, David.  I really appreciate it.

[SunsetRunner]

Thanks for sharing, Linda.  I appreciate you.

[SunsetRunner]

Thanks for the great tips, Octavia!

[SunsetRunner]

All excellent ideas, Trainer AJ.  Thank you.

[AC363904]

Very welcome! Feel free to reach out to me for any questions, I'd love to help.

[SunsetRunner]

Thanks again, Trainer AJ

[AC363904 · Accepted solution]

I saw your reply but did too much work to not share with you now. 

This is a disclaimer: this is dialectical behavioral therapy and I only have used and have experience with pages 31-38 but this book looks like it would be extremely beneficial to you and others that keep performing actions that hinder their progress- https://www.amazon.com/Skills-Training-Handouts-Worksheets-Second/dp/1572307811

As for cognitive behavioral therapy here is something quick you can copy and paste into Google and read: The DBT Solution for Emotional Eating
-Debra L. Safer, Sarah Adler, and Philip C. Masson.

If you don't seek a therapist, look for books at the library. (Ask librarian for help if needed) Look inside them to see if they are too complicated for you to understand with just a quick glance. That's what I do. That's how I found the DBT Solution for Emotional Eating. I thought, "is this something the average person can comprehend?" And if not, that's ok! Keep searching. Someone somewhere wrote a book for someone like you, I promise! Hope this helps. I enjoyed finding this information for you.

[SunsetRunner]

Thank you so much for your time and help.  I truly appreciate you and all of the research you did.  You're so kind.  I've downloaded both books on my Kindle, so I can begin tomorrow.  I'll make a follow up post and update everyone on my progress.  This gives me renewed hope.  I can't thank you enough.

[Brianshelvey]

That is a nice thing to do and i hope your aim meets target..... Good day, shari.

[SunsetRunner]

Update:  I've incorporated everyone's advice who replied to my question.  Since I was an emotional eater, I read the book, The DBT Solution for Emotional Eating.  It gave me the tools and skills I needed to deal with feelings in a productive way.  Now, I only eat when I'm physically hungry.  I don't have snacks in the house other than walnuts.  And, I find that now that I'm dealing with my feelings in a positive way, I don't feel hungry.  I caught myself being upset about something that's going on in the world and I realized that I was searching for food.  So, I asked myself if I was really hungry and the answer was no.  So, I brushed my teeth and started knitting a scarf for myself for winter.  And, I did not overeat at all today!  I even lost 1 lb.  I'm eating healthy food, 3 meals a day.  If I find that I am physically hungry, I eat a few walnuts and drink water and I'm content until the next meal.  It feels good to manage feelings instead of having them manage me.  When the local college opens, I'm going to see if they will let me free swim at their pool.  If not, they have aquatic exercise classes.  I loved swimming when I was younger and I'd like to do it again.  I feel like things are finally falling into place.  And, I know that I'm not perfect and I will make mistakes and that's okay.  I can fail at times and still commit to continuing a healthy lifestyle.  My mindset has changed.  I'll update again when I make progress along the way and when I reach my goal.  I don't care how long it takes, I'm committed for the long run.  It's a lifestyle change, not something that has an end date.  Thanks for all of the encouragement.  Will keep in touch!

[AC363904]

I'm so proud of you! Brought tears to my eyes! Keep it up and know that you can always go back to what works! Yay!!

[DelFrancia]

Hi Shari,

So wonderful your success! I can totally relate to not gaining wait despite horrible eating habits and then suddenly, hit the 40s and gaining every year. It went on for several years for me, I gained about 40 pounds. My husband would get onto me about doing something about it but I felt every time I tried I failed. It wasn't helping because he wanted me to do it for him. And for me, that was the wrong reason. I figured the right reason would be to be healthy and yes of course a byproduct he would gain too. I really felt out of control on this subject because how could I eat whatever and be fine and now just be on "auto pilot" of weight gain without doing or changing anything.

It wasn't until the lockdown that I really had a change of heart. I realized that it wasn't about "stopping" myself from gaining weight. It was about "creating" the ideal health and body for myself. It's an active ACTION. Just like you have to create a relationship or a family. Everything you DO to help the others in your life increases your happiness in that zone. So I realized it was the same with my body.

So, I started something new, now I do 1 hour on the treadmill every day, I bought a fit bit to do 10,000 steps per day and I shifted to a low carb diet. But not from the viewpoint of "limiting" my intake or what I can have. But from the viewpoint of Creating what I want.

For instance, instead of icecream filled with sugar, we make Ice Cream that is mostly organic heavy cream, fresh fruit and butter. Yum! Instead of cookies, fat bombs made with Chia seads, almond butter, cocunut shreads. Instead of sugar-filled drinks, sparkling water with fresh lemons. Instead of heavy carbed rice, cauliflower rice. Instead of a BBQ sauce filled with sugar and gluten, a cheese sauce made with organic cheese, onions, cream and simple spices. etc. etc.

As a result, and as you say, the long game has totally changed for me. I used to crave sugar and carbs all day every day. And when I would try, for my husband, to cut back calories or sugar I just felt moody, annoyed, down and like I "couldn't have" things in my life. And that to me was worse than gaining the pounds. Now it is SO easy to manage and I enjoy eating and exercising.

Just wanted to share as I think there are a lot of us out here at this age fighting this fight. But once you realize it's not a fight, its just about creating yourself as you create your house, your job, your family, etc. etc. it shifts things. Thanks for listening!