How often do you dine out? For lunch? For dinner?

[WilliamAnderson]

I have dinner in a restaurant no more than twice a week. It's just too caloric and stressful to try to eat reasonably in restaurants in order to manage weight. And I never "do lunch" at better restaurants. They are caloric nuclear bombs. I'll have a hot dog at BK or a hamburger at McD's, but no more than twice a week. A small percent of my clients insist that they must dine out a lot for one reason or another. The ones who do usually give up trying to eat responsibly pretty quickly and go back to gaining weight. They literally choose to gain weight rather than change. A few do OK dining out a lot, but it's rare. Most successful clients fix their own meals. What do you do?

[MagsOnTheBeach]

I cook my own meals almost all the time but about 2-3 times a month I have to eat out and often don't get a choice where (work lunches).  I make it work though - when it is a catered type meal a coworker and I bring our lunches and order something to share.  So I had an egg roll bowl from home and we shared soup dumplings.  We made sure to have other people try them as well so we didn't eat all of them ourselves.  

I have a friend who comes to town once a month and she likes to try new places and the decision is last minute.  For those places, I usually choose a grilled fish and salad with a light vinegar dressing on the side.  I almost never eat fast food.  I don't like it; it is bad quality fuel.  I'd much rather have a small piece of salmon and a salad with a lot of fresh vegetables at a local cafe.  At another place, I get a crepe with a salad in the middle, fruit on the side and 3oz of chicken.  If I go out at lunch, I tend to choose lower calories dinners.

Next week we were warned that we are having the best pizza (so many calories and salt!), but I can work that slice in by bringing a salad from home and just having one piece.  That pizza is more about community and enjoying company than anything else so I just plan to have one piece.  I know my scale will go up the next day because of all the salt and meats.  But it will come down over the next couple of days.

I do think that a lot of people are not comfortable shopping, reading labels, following a recipe and cooking.  In the beginning, it is time and labor intensive.  It takes practice and time to learn how to cook without a lot of effort.  For me, the hardest part is deciding what to make for the week.

[WilliamAnderson]

@MagsOnTheBeach - You are doing great work! When we make our health #1 priority, we do whatever we need to do win it. Those who quickly give up being responsible have made something else their priority. 

[A_Lurker]

I do lunch out once a week.  I have a parent in a retirement community and I pick her up and take her somewhere.  She's almost 90, so it would be ridiculous to skip them for my own sake, no matter your thoughts.  Yes, I could pack a lunch, but her problem is not eating enough calories so taking her a lower calorie lunch would defeat the purpose.  She likes fish & chips so that's usually what she orders (and doesn't finish, but who cares).  I manage to make good choices, as anyone can do.   I haven't been in a restaurant yet that won't make minor changes to an order.  I'll often do something grilled (ie. steak) and drop the starch from the meal.  Oh, I know they likely add oil and/or marinades to the steak, but by dropping the side of french fries (or a huge baked potato) I adjust for it.  Probably the most important is putting salad dressing on the side.  You can take a big plate of salad, add chicken, and have more calories in that little bowl of salad dressing than you would think.  I usually adjust by not taking breakfast those days and eating a less caloric dinner (depending on what I've ordered).  These are choices we make as we continue to live our lives. 

I'd trade a meal in a sit down restaurant over McDs and BK though any day.  I'm continually surprised at your reliance on these types of meals.  To me, this is encouraging some people to eat the same crappy food that made them heavier to begin with.  Granted, I have less choices where I live, but most of our better quality restaurants rely on local ingredients.  I had a steak for lunch a couple of weeks past that was raised on a farm I pass from time to time.  During the summer the veggies are local.  The calorie bomb meals you talk about tend to come from chains and (no surprise) things that you would expect to be extremely high calorie.  I think I mentioned it in a previous posts, but one of the semi-local chains.has all calories on their menu.  I can order:

Sirloin Steak with grilled tomatoes and asparagus - 463 cals

I can take that same sirloin, butter basted with side of veggies and choice of potato - 787 to 1023 calories

You don't need to sit in your house, avoiding social situations.*  You just need to learn to be smarter about it.  I've said many times, losing weight is not a diet, but a lifestyle change.  It's about creating coping strategies at times as well.  I suspect if you tell people that they can never eat out, go to family dinners, christmas parties, etc. that's not going to encourage them.  Finding a way to continue to live their lives and make better choices is the way.  Even if the restaurant you are going to doesn't provide calories you can pull up a similar type menu and then make smarter choices.  Again, looking at starters:

fried calamari - 304 calories (and let's face it - most of that is the oil and breading)

crispy bean tempura - 590 calories

loaded cheese fries - 1257 calories

Again, a bit of surprise that the calamari is the lowest (but it's served with a tomato sauce so that's likely why).  No question though even without the calories that the beans would be a better choice than something called loaded cheese fries. 

* Now to be fair, I'm a decent cook, so I'd rather have people in than go out.  However, not everyone feels as comfortable with their cooking to do that.  The restaurant I'm quoting calories for is Crabby Joe's - they even have calories on their drinks as well.  And actually alcohol in social situations is the killer. With our strict drinking and driving laws though it's easy to stick with one or two at the most.  I'm lucky in that I truly like the taste of bourbon on the rocks or (for finer dining) scotch neat.  Crabby Joe's didn't have their drink menu online, but the day I was there they had a low-cal drink - mostly soda watering with a spritz of lemon and cranberry I believe, probably vodka as the alcohol.

[WilliamAnderson]

@A_Lurker- You have a great plan and execution. The main problem I have with restaurants is the impulse and weakening that occurs when the smells and menu attack! We each have our way of succeeding. Viva la difference and viva la success!

[JenniferinFL]

I'm a bit of a junk food junkie. I hate packing a lunch. I'd rather go to Taco Bell or McDonalds. My weekend either includes a pizza or theme park food.

I eat at fast food establishments 4 days of my work week. I eat either pizza or theme park food on the weekend.

I just try to make good choices. I either get a kid's meal at the theme park, or get an adult meal where I can get veggies instead of fries.

I find I'm safer doing that than eating what a family member has prepared, for instance. My sister made us sandwiches last week so we wouldn't eat theme park food. Only, she doesn't understand how things work and her sandwiches had 1000 calories each and we each ate 3 as they were little and not overly filling. Didn't ask her the ingredients until later, so, that was on me. I could have eaten much better eating theme park food!

[A_Lurker]

@WilliamAnderson- that's why I used the word coping in my last post.  It's unrealistic to decide you're never going to eat out again.  It cuts you out of socialization with friends and family.  I'm going to the US next week with my boss for a couple of days.  He actually started on his weight loss journey shortly after me, so I know he'll be looking for lighter options as well.  We have few options for lunch, and we'll likely be on the road over two of the three dinner times.  I usually drop a number of protein bars (~280 cals and good macros) into my laptop case and a few bars of dark chocolate (~180 cals). I do sometimes rely on them to keep my daytime calories down if I know I'm going out for dinner.  I'll pick up some fruit once we're there and I'm good to go.

I will meet up with a friend I haven't seen in a little over 6 months.  Now, when I travel on my own I'll often just go to a grocery store and buy a salad and some roast chicken.  We went to a place the last time I was there (Sep) and decided it would have been great to eat on the patio, so we'll try it again.  Looking at the menu it has little (except maybe a salad with dressing on the side) that is low cal.  There are a couple of options that are probably around half of my rather generous calorie level.  I'll go easy on breakfast, maybe take a protein bar and some fruit for lunch.  Then I can enjoy myself at dinner.

Actually, I went back and looked at the last time I saw her.  I was still doing daily weigh-ins and logging food.  I weighed 5.8 lbs heavier the Sunday after I returned, but 9.6 pounds lighter the next Sunday.  It wasn't one meal either - I added a night onto my trip and indulged a bit (evening meal only).  Even though I don't watch sodium I had a meal on Friday night that I could taste was saltier and I don't drink as much when driving long hours so it took a day or two to flush it out of my system.  However, I added a lot of walking to that trip - parks, along the waterfront of the second place I stayed. 

The week of my trip - avg burn 3933 cals, average intake 2674 cals

The week after my trip - avg burn 3522 cals, average intake 2465 cals

I had meals on two nights that were roughly 1500 and 2000 calories.  However, that comes back to what I said about coping.  I adjusted other meals down (although the 2000 calorie night I was closer to maintenance, but did 50% more steps that day because I knew I was going to indulge).  I definitely couldn't do it every week, but my first thought when I knew I was going to be in the area is 'hey, let's meet up for dinner'.  And about 700 calories of that 2000 were alcohol, which I won't be doing again.   Especially with the boss on the trip. 

[WilliamAnderson]

@A_Lurker - I eat out every week 3-4 times, vacation several times a year and enjoy all the holidays with family. I have even learned how to work turkey, gravy, dressing and pumpkin or pecan pie with whipped cream into the eating habits that have worked to maintain my ideal weight for the last 30+ years! Before that, I had been overweight and obese for 25 years and a failure at every diet under the sun. Then, I learned what I know now, lost 140 pounds, and it has been a delight ever since, eating everything I like and enjoying it more than ever, and no guilt!

Coping is an important skill, and coping skills are an important part of any psychotherapeutic teaching. In fact, coping is a good way to describe how I've succeeded, and the best part is that it's become easy. I don't even need to count calories anymore. My habits and mind take care of everything automatically!