Saying NO

[KristenAnne]

I've been having a lot of trouble lately saying no to the bread and cakes and cookies that my boyfriend buys. I know I'm a big girl and no one is forcing me to eat these things and there are other healthy options, but sometimes I try and bargain with myself and it NEVER works out.

What helps you say no or how do you stay on track.

[Naniki13]

Please have a talk with him and let him know how important this journey is for you.  Ask for his support.  If he must have the bad carbs have him eat them out away from the house.  If you must have them in the house place them to the back of the freezer in brown bags where you can not see them. Best thing is not not have them in the house.

[KristenAnne · Accepted solution]

Brown bagging them is a great idea! I can resist for a while, but the sight makes me break after a while. By that time there's so little left I figure it's ok because it'll be gone soon. Thanks!

[makeItFun]

No need to say NO to the things you love the most! be kind to yourself! try instead controlling the amount that makes you feel guilty, a taste of what you love is a bliss! ask yourself how much is enough?

[Odyssey13 · Accepted solution]

@KristenAnne  My husband used to tell me "eat, it makes me happy" and I did. Years later, I realized it wasn't healthy to eat without regard to content or portion control. Saying "no!" to his requests to join him in a milk shake, huge piles of pasta or anything else was hard at first. Doing what was best for me has resulted in his evaluating his own dietary choices. Now we're both doing better. There are times he will eat things he shouldn't, but he no longer asks me to share in them. He's happy simply because I'm happier!

There are different reasons for our saying "no" to some things. Some of us want to lose weight, some have medical reasons and some have a desire for a healthier lifestyle. Whatever the reason, we learn to live with it. Lately I've been saying this: "I can have anything I want. Not everything is good for me, so I choose what is best for me."

A family member limited sweets for her children. They would have to choose between hot chocolate or a doughnut on a cold snowy day. While her intentions were good, it didn't help them learn self-control. At family gatherings, the kids would eat all sorts of goodies while their parents were in another room.

My Flex has helped me get more active, log my food and water consumption. It does keep me on track because I can my steps or lack of them.

You can do it, KristenAnne. Just let your boyfriend know that you want to spend time with him, not the goodies he buys. Sometimes we just have to be honest with ourselves and with others.

When you feel yourself wanting to give in and you need some help - come to the forums. Do some reading of the posts. Post some yourself. We're in this together!

[KristenAnne]

You know, I said I needed to post more! What a great idea instead of eating out of boredom! Thanks!

[Odyssey13]

Post, then walk around the house a bit. Come back and read the new posts. Answer a few questions or share more of yours. I find if my mind or hands are busy, I'm not nibbling without thought.

I've found a great popcorn that is low in calories and carbs. Skinny Pop with 155 calories for 4 whole cups and only 15 carbs.  Eating it one kernel at a time spreads it out and keeps me full.

Laundry time - more steps are coming my way!

[Nicomachea · Accepted solution]

That is a bit of a tough situation -- he wants those things, he's buying them, and that's OK, but you're working to achieve something and those same things are a hinderance.

One thing that might help is asking him to help you. Explain your goal and admit you have a really tough time with the things he's buying. Acknowledge that he has every right to buy them, and ask if there's some middle ground you guys can reach so that you're both happy. If you live separately, ban those things at your place and see if he'd be willing to wait until you're not at his place to buy them. If you live together, see whether he can keep the tempting foods at work or maybe just buy enough every day for that one day. Brownbagging them is a great idea as long as out-of-sight-out-of-mind applies to you and you'll be able to resist when he unbags a serving while you're around.

Something else you can try: Tell him and others (and yourself) that you DON'T eat non-nutritious food. Now I'm not advocating complete abstinence -- moderation is key here -- but as a general matter, you DON'T eat those foods. That turn of phrase can be immensely helpful.

[KristenAnne]

I like that DON'T thought. I might say I don't like it and try to convince myself that I don't like Mac n' Cheese, but cheese is fine ;0)

I really think that will work for me! Thanks!

[Hats26]

I wish I could eat in moderation, but my self control is awful. Its either all or nothing for me. I thought Nanaki13's post was helpful in terms of talking and asking from support of your boyfriend? I'm amazed that there are a box of maltesers in a cupboard and they've been there for a wee while yet I've not touched them! However if I buy a packet of pringles... I eat them within a day or two. It is hard... But well worth it 🙂 I even had to sit far away from a bowl of haribos in the staff room as I kept eyeing them up! The occasional treat is great, but I only go there if I know I have the control to stop it too >.< There are some cravings that will never fade though, for me it is popcorn. 

[sarahpuffer]

Yikes! I couldn't handle that! Glad my fiance isn't a big snacker. When we buy something like a bag of Halloween candy, I literally tell him to hide it from me! It's worked for us 🙂

Yesterday I made a batch of gingerbread cookies for a friend, and told myself I wouldn't eat ANY. Then I ate 3. 😕

So I'd ask him to do that- HIDE IT from you! 

[slmaiden]

I also told my husband to HIDE IT! LOL I said, "If you buy doughnuts or cookies, please keep them in your work desk downstairs or somewhere I won't see them." My husband does the majority of the grocery shopping and cooking because he enjoys it a lot more than I do, so it was really hard when I was first trying to eat healther and lose weight. I would complain about the things he was buying and then get really pissed when he would say, "you don't have to eat it". I felt like he wasn't being supportive but you know, sometimes the truth hurts, and he was completely right. So that's when I changed my tactic and just asked him to put it somewhere else. I think once I stopped blaming him for my overeating, he stopped acting defensive about it and has actually helped me a lot (he bought me my FitBit and regularly counts up the calories of our dinners as he's cooking so I can log them later). 32 lbs down!

[roobarb]

I guess I feel a bit different than most.....I think these high fat/sugar foods are bad for everybody and should not be in the house most of the time.  These foods are treats and should not be bought on a normal basis......no matter your weight.  Many, many people are "skinny fat" or thin and unhealthy and eating these snacks.  We do buy some things from time to time but they are treats and ususally thrown out before they are even finished. 

No matter of your weight or health, if those bad snackes are there all the time.....most people will eat too many of these snacks.

[zubz]

Oh I hear you. My fiance LOVES chips and they are also one of my biggest weaknesses. I told him chips cannot be in the house. But, if they are, I'll pre portion them in ziploc bags and write the calories on them so they're staring me in the face if I go to grab them.

What also works for me is finding a non food related activity. My dog goes for tons of walks now ("gotta get in my steps!"), painting my nails, having a nice long bath with a good book, etc.

It takes a lot of dedication to say no, and sometimes I've received backlash ("but you're doing so well! Surely you can have ______, it won't break you...")

I've found tracking every thing that goes in my mouth a huge help and eye opener. I ask myself now, "is it worth it?" Is it worth the lethargic feeling I'll get after? The regret? Etc. Focus on the big picture. Where will I be if I do X instead of Y?

Remember that every choice you make is a new one. Don't think "oh, I've screwed up today. Ill just keep eating like crap and get back on it tomorrow". No! The next meal or snack is a new choice. Your body doesn't know if it's a new day or fresh start--it will start thanking you the moment you fuel it properly.

I've lost 50+lbs (mostly on WW) and am now using fitbit to get me to my fitness goals.

You can do it.

[Odyssey13]

@zubz  I love your attitude. You're right in asking yourself those questions, I do that myself.

More than fifty pounds is great. May you continue to do well.

[zubz]

Thanks @odessey13 🙂

Attitude is definitely a big part of weight loss as well.

I'm pretty much at my goal now, just want to lose some vanity pounds and get in better shape.

[eddyairplane]

Tell him you prefer fruit instead. Perhaps an apple or pear would make a nice change. Switch it to a specific time and fix it where you will look forward to something wholesome and healthy. Ban biscuits and cakes to certain times ONLY and then slowly push them out of your planning. Treat youself once a week, so you dont feel abandoned by Mr Cake Slice or Miss Choc Biscuit. Just tell them you have some new friends now :--- Mr Juicy Apple and Miss Sweet Pear................and you love them lots!!!

[kaelarenee7]

Everyone in my house has a major sweet tooth. I like to bake cupcakes and things, but I've cut down on that and made it more of a once in a great while thing. Plus most of the time that I do bake, I take the cupcakes into work so that I'm able to indulge my baking hobby, but the sweets are out of the house and I end up not eating so many.

I also hide sweets when we buy them and pay attention to the serving sizes on the packages. If I've had a really active day and have some extra calories to spare, I may have an extra serving but for the most part I just make sure that I limit myself to one serving and then hide the rest away. There's a pantry in the kitchen that I hide my sweets in on the top shelf. I picked the pantry because it's one that I don't get into very often, making it easier to forget that the sweets are there and being on a top shelf they're not as easy to get to as say a cookie jar on the counter. It's also away from where I sit in the living room when I'm relaxing so if I want to eat some of my sweets, I have to get up and walk over to them rather than having them close to me and snacking on them as much as I want while I'm sitting in the living room. I think that helps prevent idle snacking.