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Weight loss impossible please help

It seems impossible for my body to lose weight!! I'm at my wit's end and no idea what to do 😞 

I used to have an eating disorder, I was never underweight with it but had disordered eating patterns and struggled with compulsive over exercise over the past 10 years. I was really poorly with it 2015 - end of last year when I sought treatment. I've gradually reduced my exercise and upped my calories over the past 8/9months. I didn't need to gain weight but i am really struggling with weight. I fluctuate between 80 and 87kgs and it is driving me insane, that is really overweight (I'm 170cm) and I honestly don't know what to do. Everyone kept telling me I needed to eat more and eat carbs. So over the past couple weeks I've begun eating 2000 calories a day, although it seems too high for weight loss, my average output is anywhere between 3000-4000 as I have a very physical job with horses, walk my dog around 30/40 minutes a day, strength train 4x per week and do Hiit 3x per week. I try not to do anymore cardio than that .I have started eating some healthy carbs, I eat healthy fats, I have adequate protein amounts, I eat little and often. I'm sorry for the essay, I just wanted to provide enough information to get help. I am beginning to feel really depressed about it because I feel I have worked so hard and I'm trying to do everything right. But everytime I step on the scales, I've gained like 2kgs. Please any help would be appreciated so much 

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18 REPLIES 18

First of all, do not trust the caloric estimates on your fitbit. Mine tells me I burn 4000 calories per day, but that is way off... It's actually almost double of what I should be eating every day.

 

Try eating about 2500 calories a day, and see where that gets you in 2 weeks. If you still don't lose anything, go down to 2200 and check again.

If you do lose weight on 2500, but feel like crap, try increasing it by 200 and see where that gets you.

Do adjustments like that, until you find what's right for you.

 

Oh, one last thing. 1 day of over eating can easily destroy a week of perfect weightloss. Worst case scenario is that you can even gain more than you burned the entire week, so it's possible to starve yourself and still get fat.

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Hi @Charlotte92 - welcome.  It sounds like you are in a pretty frustrating place.

 

It seems like you are trying a number of different things at the same time, working hard, and trying to do everything "right".  Problem is, there is no consensus what "right" is, and the more people you ask, the more conflicting advice you will get.

 

You mentioned you previously struggled with over-exercising, but I read that your exercise level is still very high with 4 separate activities over what sounds like 7 days per week.  My opinion (and I'm no expert) is that intense exercise tends to interfere with weight loss, due to recovery, frequent eating, increased hunger, increased fatigue, increased stress and cortisol production, and post-exercise inflammation.

 

Here are some ideas I'd suggest you consider if your goal is to lose weight:

  • Do less not more
  • Reduce your level of stress
  • Get more sleep
  • Pick a "diet" (Atkins, Paleo, Plant Based Whole Food, etc.) and stick with it.  If you get no results after 2 months, try another.
  • Reduce your level of exercise (and replace with other stress-reducing activities)
  • Get advice from whoever has treated you for the over-exercising

Hope this helps

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Hi Dave, 

 

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. Yes I definitely struggle with that, I see so much different information, perhaps I am not consistent enough with one thing. 

 

You are right about the intense exercise and I'm aware of the repurcussions of this but I don't know how much more I can cut it down. I walk my dog the bare minimum and not every day, I let someone else take a turn but I do enjoy this. I can't give up taking care of or riding my horse. I do the minimum cardio and rarely swim anymore in an attempt to cut it down. But I don't know if I cut my weight training down from 4 days, if I will still see results. I do Hiit 3x per week, again I don't know if I cut this to 2x I'd see results. Not that I am seeing much now 😞

 

I think I will just always be an active person but I have been in therapy for 8/9 months and have tackled my unhealthy obsession with exercise. I used to do 4/5 hours a day minimum!

 

I will try tweaking my exercise to see if I can cut out anymore. And definitely prioritise sleep more. I've decided to try a plant based whole food diet as it is closest to what I am doing now anyway and stick with that. 

 

Thank you again! 

 

 

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Hi Yme, thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I don't pay too much attention to it but I don't think it is too far off as my steps average in at 25000 a day and I definitely wouldn't think I've burned 3000 so I can eat 3000. 

 

The trouble is, I don't know if my metabolism is out of whack from years of restriction and I gain weight too easily. I've been trying to eat more and hitting 2000 most days for a couple of weeks and I've gained about 2kgs. So this tells me I should eat less but I am conscious of the gap between income and output being too extreme. Most calorie calculators online tell me to eat over 2000 to lose weight healthily but it doesn't seem to work for me but I want to look after my body and be healthy now! I feel like I am in a minefield and it is all far too complicated. But I see everyone around me making progress 😞 

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Hi @Charlotte92.  Some good advice from @Daves_Not_Here and @Yme.  Like that you are focusing on a Whole Foods plant based diet because “it is the closest to what [you] eat now.”  There are a lot of positives in that diet, but for you, the main thing is that it is similar to what you eat now, so the likelihood that you can adapt it to your lifestyle is pretty good.  The important thing here is to start building habits today that you can carry with you so as you get smaller you stay that way.

 

Two things struck me in your first post: “I eat little and often” and “every time I’ve step on the scales, I’ve gained like 2kg.

 

1.  The first statement makes me wonder if you eat lots of small meals/snacks throughout the day.  A lot of busy people fall into that pattern because they just can’t find time to eat.  If you are weight stable and it works that is fine, but if you are having trouble losing weight and often hungry, I would suggest going to regular meals - 3 or 4 a day.  On a Whole Foods plant based diet of 2000-2500 calories/day, that will be a LOT of food at each meal.  That means you get to feel full for a few hours after each meal and when you do start to feel hungry, you will probably be within an hour of your next meal, so you won’t be hungry long.  In addition, it is much easier to be sure you are eating you calorie goal if you count 3 or 4 times/day rather than 7 or 8.

 

2.  I am going to suggest something that may sound very scary to you, but weigh yourself every day, record it in Fitbit, and then forget it.  Then, every Sunday, check you weight AVERAGE on Fitbit for the prior week.  Weekly averages are a much better indicator of whether you are moving in the right direction than what the scale says on any given day.  And committing to a daily weigh in habit overcomes that emotionally destructive cycle of only weighing after “good” food days, and then getting disappointed if the scale doesn’t immediately validate the fact that you sacrificed and didn’t have beer and pizza last night.  The scale is a good tool in weight loss, but to get good feedback you need to weight in daily so you can get a sense of your trends, instead of just your daily fluctuation.  (TrendWeight, link in my signature, is a free site you can link your Fitbit account to, that calculates a daily moving average of your weigh-ins.  I like that even better than just looking at the weekly average because even though my weight might change 2 or 3 lbs day to day, it is the trend-line that really matters).

 

 

Scott | Baltimore MD

Charge 6; Inspire 3; Luxe; iPhone 13 Pro

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Hey @Charlotte92 -- I really appreciate how you are giving consideration to the ideas folks here are suggesting. Often, new members of the community will post once out of frustration, solicit input, but never return.

 

On the exercise business, I'd suggest you walk your dog, ride your horse, and skip the rest for month or two.  You have a active lifestyle.  Save the time and energy spent on weight lifting and HIIT and go to bed earlier.  Relax.  Lower your stress.  Give yourself a vacation.

 

I suggest that if stopping weight lifting and HIIT is unthinkable, that's exactly why you need to stop it. 

 

I'll bet if you eat plant-based whole food, limit your exercise to walking and riding, and get more sleep, the weight will come off.  Oh, and per @Baltoscott 's recommendation, eating lots of meals is great if you're trying to put on weight, but if you want to lose, you might try eliminating the snacking.

 

 

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@Charlotte92,

I'd promised myself to stay out of diet discussions starting on the first of July. I'll try to keep this short, however, I don't plan on making many more posts because it's not a good use of my time. Therefore, this might be a bit long.

 

Since the subject of a Whole Food Plant Based Diet has come up, let me first define what it is. Only two people get to define it. Dr. T. Colin Campbell and Dr. Esselstyn. Since they became good friends after independently discovering it through different paths, it's unclear to me who to credit.

 

1. No animal products period. No milk, no eggs, no meat, no cheese, no grasshoppers, no worms, no turkey on Thanksgiving. No cheating.

2. NO OILS! Emphasis by Dr. Esselstyn. Let me say it again, NO OILS! No olive oil, no grapeseed oil, no peanut oil, no soybean oil, no Pennzoil. In case I wasn't clear, NO OILS. They directly damage the endothelium cells which line the blood vessels and result in progression of heart disease. It only takes a small amount. It also actively promotes the development of cancers. 

 

3. Eat food bought in as close to its natural state of possible. This means whole grains like oatmeal, whole wheat flour, quinoa, brown rice, couscous, millet, etc. Whole vegetables from the produce section. Anytime you add a package, you increase the danger that deadly substances have been introduce. Frozen fruits and vegetables are fine, but read the labels to make sure no sugar, OIL or salt has been added. Oh, and no butter, too.

 

For calories, eat potatoes, sweet potatoes, BEANS (made from dry beans), corn, whole grain breads (preferably made yourself) with no additives, corn, and anything considered a starch. You can Google a list. 

 

Pick from any of the wide assortment of vegetables you like in the produce department. There are some that are better than others, but that's getting into unnecessary details. 

 

No smoothies. If you separate the fructose from the fiber, it enters the bloodstream too quickly. It's also too easy to drink three or four fruits to disguise the taste of the vegetables. 

 

NO SALAD OIL.

 

Eat lots of greens, but remember, you have to eat a bushel or two of greens to get enough calories. Think of starches and grains for calories and vegetables for vitamins or minerals.

 

No nuts or avocados. This is Dr. Esselstyne's strict interpretation to cure heart disease. For those that are lean (BMI of about 22) and fit, they can add one gram total of nuts and avocados and nuts per 100 calories consumed.

 

No more than 13% of calories from fat of any kind. A higher number rekindles the addictive craving for fat.

 

No more than 13% protein. More leads to kidney stones and other problems.

 

About 77% carbohydrates.

 

No refined sugars.

Nothing with labels listing unknown ingredients.

NO OIL.

 

Well, I haven't covered everything, but lets look at the science.

 

Dr. Esselstyn took 177 patients with severe heart disease. They were known as the walking dead. After 3 1/2 years, there was only one minor cardiac event. It's now about 6 years since the study started, and I've read there have still not been any cardiac events.  

 

What about cancer and the other diseases? Well, there is only one disease -- one I call dysfunctional diet disease. It causes almost all of the degenerative disease we associate with old age. It would take a ton of references, but this way of eating prevents, arrests, or cures all of these.

 

So, how do you get started? There are many points of entry as there are many nutritional giants who have mostly independently discovered the same way of eating. Engine Company No. 2, which was developed by Dr. Esselstyn's son Rip. @Charlotte92, you may discover he is somewhat addicted to exercise. Don't worry about it if you enjoy it. His recommendations are slightly more lenient than Dr. Esselstyn's, and he points out these differences. Dr. McDougall, the penultimate researcher and explainer, brings together all the research done during the last 100 years and before and shows how this way of eating prevents, arrests, or cures the dysfunctional diet diseases. Nathan Pritikin, creator of the Pritikin diet, opened the Pritikin Longevity Clinic in 1976. It's still open today. Dr. T. Colin Campbell, one of the authors of the China Study, who proved the relationship between diet and degenerative disease, mostly cancer in the largest observational cross-sectional study ever done. He has published the results in over 350 research studies in the best medical journals. Dr. Dean Ornish, who proved back in 1974 that this way of eating could reverse heart disease. Dr. Gregor, who researched this type of eating and has spent his life traveling the country to explain it to people. I know I've left out some.

 

If someone says, "Eat keto," my answer is, "Where's the science?" Where is the science that proves keto can reverse heart disease, cure all cases of type 2 diabetes, reduce the need for medication for type 1 diabetes, cure obesity without counting calories, cure most cases of MS, and Lupus, cause remission in 20% of all types of cancer and slowing growth in 60% so it won't matter. The list goes on and on even to curing toenail fungus and dandruff.

 

You will hear people preach moderation. Moderation kills. The one person in Dr. Esselstyn's study who had a minor stroke ate street food during a short visit to China. If someone says, "Eat clean meat and a variety of vegetables, I say "Where's the science?" If someone points to the Mediterranean study, point out it only reduced cardiac events by 25%. If someone suggests DIETFIT, Whole30, Dash, etc., ask where's the science that shows virtually a 100% prevention of dysfunctional diet diseases? The Whole Food Plant Based Diet does that. Oh, by the way, it also cures obesity except in a tiny number of people who have a particular insulin problem. However, for these people, being overweight doesn't increase their risk of death. (Yes, there is an exception to this.)

 

It takes some time to explain and learn this way of eating to near perfection. If you are interested, I'll feed you sources one at a time. If not, just read one of Dr. Esselstyn's books.  Making the switch is difficult, but the potential reward of decades of extra living and decades of vibrant health are worth every bit of effort. All the side effects are positive. They only things a person needs to get used to is eating plant based servings. Think serving bowl size and not tiny meals. There is no calorie counting needed. It does pay to occasionally log the food for a week or so to get a general idea of macros.

 

The diet wars are over. There is no question that whole food plant based is the clear winner. For those that think otherwise, I ask, "Where's your science?"

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Worse is late night snacking, especially unhealthy fatty late night snacking just before bed

 

I agree, not too convinced on the calorie measurement, I wouldn’t say it is that much off, at least for me, but if I ate what it tells me, I defo would not be staying at my current weight never mind lose weight

 

but I suppose you could take twins, make them do and eat the same things at the same time etc, and they would still lose/gain different amounts, so i guess Fitbit/mfp measurement is possibly based on an average

 

with fitbit/mfp catering mainly for the US, I suppose that average will be higher

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@GershonSurge wrote:

The one person in Dr. Esselstyn's study who had a minor stroke ate street food during a short visit to China. If someone says, "Eat clean meat and a variety of vegetables, I say "Where's the science?" If someone points to the Mediterranean study, point out it only reduced cardiac events by 25%. If someone suggests DIETFIT, Whole30, Dash, etc., ask where's the science that shows virtually a 100% prevention of dysfunctional diet diseases?


For those not ready to take the claims about Dr. Esselstyn’s prowess at face value, the Skeptical Cardiologist (great blog) has a couple of posts that debunk his "science": the incredibly bad science behind Dr. Esselstyns plant-based diet and more incredibly bad science from Dr. Esselstyn’s plant-based (vegan) diet study.

Dominique | Finland

Ionic, Aria, Flyer, TrendWeight | Windows 7, OS X 10.13.5 | Motorola Moto G6 (Android 9), iPad Air (iOS 12.4.4)

Take a look at the Fitbit help site for further assistance and information.

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@Dominique,

  

Dr. Esselstyn has over 150 research papers published in major medical journals. Where is your blogger's science? He has at least two major errors in his description of Dr. Esselstyn's  smaller study.

 

Where is your skeptical cardiologist's science? He apparently can't read as he makes many false claims about the nature of Dr. Esselstyn's studies. Obviously, you wouldn't know that as you never go to the sources. You'd rather get your information from uninformed bloggers who happen to agree with you.

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I eat a modified Esselstyn diet -- basically, I start with a plant based whole food diet, add ribeyes, butter and bacon, and then lose any plant that grows above or below the ground.

 

Just kidding!  @GershonSurge -- if I'm correct, you reversed a severe cancer diagnosis through your plant-based eating regimen?  If I were in your situation, I believe I would be as passionate as you are about the efficacy of your lifestyle.

 

I find your personal anecdote to be very persuasive, far more so than any invocation of "science".  Just as "gay" no longer means "cheerful", "science" no longer has anything to do with intellectual honesty or the rigorous pursuit of truth.  "Scientific" studies are no longer falsifiable or reproducible.  So when someone who is trying to persuade me ever references "science", I just completely dismiss their argument as an appeal to authority.  And I'm not alone.

 

In other words, uninformed bloggers are far, far more credible than the hucksters our media and society holds up as "scientists".  So, your personal story is far more impactful here than any "scientific" studies that may support your opinions.

 

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Science very rarely finds absolute truths (can remain unchanged through time).

 

They propose "theories" on what they observe and measure which can be refined or changed based on additional analysis or better/additional measurements that weren't available with previous studies (technological advances, etc.).  Their truths are ever changing (as they should be) and I'd be wary of any scientist that says otherwise.

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@Daves_Not_Here,

I did cure my neuroendocrine cancer eating this way. It is considered incurable. Since I eliminated the oils a month before my diagnosis, I also improved many other visible markers of other types of dysfunctional diet diseases. I couldn't prove anything by changes in blood tests except to compare them to my last physical in 1993.  

 

Personally, I feel this subject is too important to practice anything but radical honesty and a willingness to be proven wrong. 

 

Dr. Esselstyn is only the latest Dr. whose research I've studied closely. Others are Nathan Pritikin (who was not a doctor), Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. McDougall, Dr. Campbell, Dr. Fuhrman (on the surface I disagree with his methods), Dr. John Kelly (whose book is completely anecdotal), Dr. John Kellogg, Dr. Ken Cooper, and Dr. Gregor. Now I'm doing an archaeological dig through older books to learn the science these doctors derived their conclusions from. Believe me, if I find a better way of eating, I'll say so. What these doctors have in common is they are/were healthy and old. Nathan Pritikin did die of "complications from leukemia" after having it for 23 years during a time it was not curable.

 

I specifically used the term "uninformed blogger." The Skeptical Cardiologist is among the worst I've seen on any subject. I have surfed the blogs and found well-written ones. Usually, I transition from them to reading the works of their sources. 

 

@Mukluk4,

The science behind the whole food plant based diet has changed. Anytime someone describes a mechanism, it's understood they are likely wrong. However, mechanisms aren't important. What is important is does it work in a real environment? We could get in a big discussion about nuances along the way. For instance, some allow up to ten percent of the calories from unsafe sources. There are good reasons for this in people who don't have a disease yet. There are also good reasons for being strict. All the doctors I mentioned explain their positions well.

 

Anyway, that's enough for me on this subject. It's not a good use of my time to discuss it further. I shouldn't have come out of seclusion for this topic. It's taking away from essential exercise time, and I'm not going to spend any more of that time trying to convince others.

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Hi,

 

I am just going to bypass the conversations by those pushing their hobby horses because I don't think that it is helpful to someone who is already confused and is just hijacking your thread without providing any simple practical advice. I am a female who has had similar issues to you and also have horses and have worked full time with horses so understand a bit where you are coming from. 

 

If I were you, for now I would suggest checking and setting up a few basic things:

 

Try to relax your thinking (anxiety) about your weight, yes you are overweight but it is not a disaster - try to change the thoughts going on in your head about it all being impossible etc, try to come up with something realistic and positive you can say to yourself when those thoughts pop in your head.

 

Have a look at your portion sizes and check that they are all the size you think they are.  You could do this by one off weighing the things you eat and check that you are eating how much you think you are (it can be easy for portions to creep up). Once you are sure that your portion sizes are correct (personally I weigh my food pretty regularly but I know that is not for lots of people for many different reasons) then aim for 2000 calories intake a day. Stick to that for at least a month, then adjust down if necessary.

 

Check how often you are eating. Snacking can be the devil for increasing total intake for the day without realising it as the person above said.  Some people physiologically need to snack and some people (me!) snack out of habit.  If you need to snack then make sure you have it portioned out.

 

If you can handle it emotionally, weigh everyday like also suggested above and then look at the weekly average on Fitbit or use something like Trendweight.  Your weight isn't static and will fluctuate throughout a day and a week due to hydration, hormones etc.  As a woman you mind find you have upward fluctuation when you ovulate or when you menstruate that come down after a few days.  If you don't weigh daily you might think you have gained a bunch of weight if you happen to weigh on those days when it is just water retention from hormones. Weigh at the same time, in the same clothes (or nakkid) on the same scale, one the same spot (hard surface).

 

The exercise thing is tricky for you mentally/emotionally given your background/history. Exercise is really best viewed (IMO) as being for your health and as a small part of losing weight. Over exercising increases cortisol which can inhibit weight loss and while you have reduced how much you are exercising, you are still doing a lot. With the horsework/riding and dog walking I would think that you could just do with the weightlifting 3 times a week.  I would ditch the HIIT and the extra day of weight training.  None of these are giving your body a chance to recover and repair between weights sessions.  Sounds like you would have trouble just cutting them out so maybe you could try reducing the HIIT sessions per week over a couple weeks? Or maybe try replacing them with something more relaxing or less intensive to do, like yoga or meditation classes or going to the movies or whatever fun non-exercise thing you like to do?

 

So I would suggest check your portion sizes (you might be eating more as than you think), choose your calories for the day, shift your focus from exercise to diet and try to reduce your exercise amount.  Do that for at least a month before changing anything, then if you do make changes, just one at a time and give them at least a month to see if they are working.

 

I would leave the concerns about what to eat until you have the above under control. Worrying about what to eat (carbs/fat/protein, paleo, plant based, keto, processed, not processed, good/bad etc) are really just a personal preference and introducing rules around what you can or can't eat because of its perceived healthiness or not just makes things more confusing, can push up your anxiety and just get you in a muddle. You will find the things that you like to eat that sustain you through the day by trying different foods as you go along, not through rigid rules. 

 

I hope some of this helps, it is just what I think and what has worked for me,

 

Take care and enjoy those horses and dog! 🙂

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@SunsetRunner,

 

Nice job pushing your own hobby horse.

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Hi @GershonSurge I really want to talk to you as I could use your knowledge/advice.  Someone I care about very much has NET (she is on a plant-based diet) and you are the first post I have ever seen that cured their own with plant based whole foods. Your time would be invaluable to me. 

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@ResilientTyler wrote:

Hi @GershonSurge I really want to talk to you as I could use your knowledge/advice.  Someone very near to me has NET (she is on a plant-based diet) and you are the first post I have ever seen that cured their own with plant based whole foods. Your time would be invaluable to me. 


Let's take it one step at a time. First, watch this video together: Why did Steve Jobs Die?

 

Then read this book: The Starch Solution

It's about many chronic diseases. A Whole Food Plant Based diet will prevent, arrest or cure most of them. Go to www.drmcdougall.com to learn what the way of eating is. If the person has diabetes, they should monitor their sugar carefully during the transition. Preferably with the doctor's advice.

 

Let me briefly explain what the way of eating is:

1. No animal products

2. No oil. Oil will accelerate cancer growth by a bunch, especially if a person eats a little meat.

3. No processed foods (practically speaking, there will be some.)

4. All food eaten in as close to its natural state as possible.

 

About 80% of the calories will come from starches like rice, potatoes, beans, lentils, corn, couscous, etc. The other 20% will come from vegetables and fruits. If a person needs to lose weight, they can shift the balance slightly. Limit nuts or avocado if a person is not lean and fit. (Up to an oz. a day combined is ok.)

 

NO CHEATING. Relapse can come quickly with even a few days of cheating.

 

On drugs: Many drugs act by doing what a WFPB diet does. The typical drug for cancer limits the Insulin Like Growth Factor 1 (IGF1) produced by the liver. This stimulates the pituitary gland to release Growth Hormone (GH), also called Human Growth Hormone. This can lead to an inability to maintain weight and loss of lean weight while gaining fat. 

 

It will be best if you go on the diet with this person. It usually takes a good support partner. 

 

Exercise: I don't have proof that exercise helps, but it seems to. When you get to it, I'll recommend a book. Walking is fine.

 

If this person is taking Lanreotide, let me know. The side effects can be painful, although not life threatening in the short term.

 

I'll keep checking back every day. IM me if you like.

 

 

 

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@GershonSurge I'm not sure how to message you directly on here as I am new.  Can you email me at tynieland@gmail.com ?  (anyone else please be respectful of the email I have posted this is meant for ')

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