Where Do You Get Your Willpower From??

[SunsetRunner]

Hi Guys and Gals 🙂

I have over 5 stone to lose - lost 10 pounds in a month and then put it all back on in a couple of weeks as my willpower disappeared and all I wanted to do was sit on the sofa and eat! So I did!

Sooo I need your help! Any tips on willpower and how to keep going? What do you do to continue, rather than giving up at the first hurdle? I need a kick up the bum!

Thanks 🙂

Kat x

[Punkynn01]

When I started 4 years ago I had a real honest, hard talk with myself.  I had yo-yo dieted for most of my life (I'm 41) I had been a size 5 and had balooned up to a 20 after 2 pregnancies.  I realized that it was a lifestyle change and that it wasn't going to be a quick fix.  I wasn't going to lose 100 lbs in mere months.  I was going to have to make a million little changes in my life.  No one big thing, was going to do it.

I started by making 5 simple rules for myself. These were rules that I told myself, "If you can't stick to these, then you don't deserve to lose"  I made them easy at first.

1. Don't drink your calories.  

2. Do some kind of exercise every day (even if its just a mile walk)

3. Don't go more than 2 days without exercise.

4. No indulgences without exercise.  (If I didn't exercise that day, then I didn't get to have that cookie, bite        of cake, etc.

5. Stay in your calories for the day no matter what.

Once I started to lose the weight I started to add more rules.  I found that the first rules became so easy that they were a part of my life.  They were no longer really rules.  I just lived by them.  

One thing that I discovered was that I could indulge and stay in my calories.  I never looked at calories in sweets before.  Seriously! I didn't.  I just figured..."It's a chocolate bar...theyare all bad...what's the difference?"

Well, there is a huge difference.  If you look at the back of candy bars you can find a wide variety of calorie differences.  for instance a Snickers bar has a lot more calories than a plain chocolate Hershey bar.  Some candy bars come in under 200 calories while others are as much as a meal (400-500 calories!!!) Over a period of a week's time that can add up to a lot of calories! and LBS!

Remember 3500 calories is equal to a lb of weight.  So if you only cut 500 each day, that is a lb in a week.  

Once I started paying more attention to those things...I realized truly what eating in moderation was.

Being more aware of what you are putting into your body is a big start.  Many people do what I call "blind eating".  They think the way I did with the candy.  It's bad so why do I bother even looking at the calories.  

Well, the thing is.  When you are aware of what you are eating...then you aren't as shocked when you get on the scale.  You know why you gained.  When you look at the calories it's one more chance for you to stop and think..."Do I really need this?"  Many times when you are more aware you are more accountable and less likely to cheat and more likely to make a better choice.  

When I splurge on something, even if I'm still in my calories, I have to exercise that day.  If I eat a bigger meal at lunch, it's with the understanding that my dinner or late meal is going to be a salad or something smaller. It's a balance.  

It doesn't have to be hard.  It's what you choose to make it.  

[SteelerGirl69]

For me, it was a Total wake up call from my doctor. I have a blood disorder that is killing my immune system.
My doc (of 15 plus years) laid it out blunt for me a couple weeks ago when I saw her.
She said I was getting old, I'm fat, a smoker, eat poorly and am stressed to the max and between All that and my disorder if I didnt get healthy she didnt see me living into my mid 70s.
BOOM. I was floored. I new I Had to have a major life transformation to seriously continue living so my Health and my Family are my strength and give me my willpower to keep myself moving.
It may not always be fun but it sure beats the thought and Very Real possibility of an early death.

[Punkynn01]

"It may not always be fun but it sure beats the thought and Very Real possibility of an early death."

There are many that have this wake up call and still don't do anything about it.

Yes, for a long time I would workout really hard and do well for a short period of time.  I would always fall off the wagon because the weight wouldn't come off quickly enough.  

It took seeing my father's failing health and watching others around me pass away or their health fade to make me realize that I wasn't getting any younger.  My only regret now is that I didn't start sooner.  

Yes, it's going to suck for a little while, but the benefits are so rewarding.  I'm glad I stuck with it.  I have lost 80lbs and gotten in shape and have kept it off for over 4 years now.

For the first time in my life I am actually in a happy place and feel good about my body after so long living with self loathing.  

That in itself is so freeing.  I didn't truly realize the depression that I carried around.

[Flatermuis]

I haven't read the whole forum thread, so this might be in there. This idea is not mine, so i can't take credit for it, but i have used it and it helped me. Maybe it helps you too.

First of all, forget willpower. It's about habit. If you think about willpower, you think about choice, which give the opportunity to rationalize doing nothing. 

Everybody has about the same amount of willpower "points" if you will. And everytime you do something you think you have a choice or not, you use them up (generally speaking). People who have "discipline" simply don't think of things as excercise and diet as a choice. They view them as a something they have to do, like eating and drinken and sleeping and it becomes part of their routine. No willpower required. Like coffee in the morning. It's a different approach. Getting home after work people usually eat. They don't think about it. They just cook and eat. If you get home and you are already thinking about if you want to train when you are just a few weeks in, it's very likely that at some point in the future you will quit. Set a time and start it. Don't think. Just do.

[Punkynn01]

I AGREE!  This is one of the biggest reasons I have kept the weight off.  I stopped looking at it like it was something I would do till the weight came off.  It's something that you have to work into your life.  It's just like buying groceries, doing laundry, eating, sleeping, etc.  When  I don't workout I feel like I'm "off".  It's something that I do.  It became the rule.  I dont' allow myself to go more than 2 days in a row without doing some kind of exercise.  I often doing allow myself for than a day at a time...spreading my 2 days out in the week.  For one...if you allow yourself too many days off in a row you get complacent.  

If it is habit or routine it doesn't hurt as much when you do miss.  Because you don't feel as though you have gotten behind.

[TJFIT]

Spoiler

"I have over 5 stone to lose - lost 10 pounds in a month and then put it all back on in a couple of weeks as my willpower disappeared and all I wanted to do was sit on the sofa and eat! So I did!"

Do it on hourly basis to begin with.

• Keep 4 to 4 hour between meals.  If you need to eat in between, munch on raw broccoli
• Keep drinking water
• Don't watch TV.  Meditate instead.  Deep breath.  This will help you relax
• Do some volunteering work
• Do walk in a park on a daily basis.  You will make SO many friends that you will look forward to your walks (it works for me and now I even have a walking buddy)
• Start SMALL.  Small changes.  Small steps.  But do do something good for yourself on a daily basis.
• Learn new relaxation techniques (on everyday basis).

[Raelcvn]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. A lot of good stuff has been written by everyone, it honestly helps to read and see other people are going through what I am going through to some degree. We are all different though and we are all hit with different levels of food addiction, for some, the food addiction is worse than trying to quit smoking and drugs.

I have been fighting with my weight for about 22 years. I've lost it all, gotten to where I want to be, then put it all back on and more. Last February I was finally ready to make the change in my life to eat how I should and exercise. As of today, I am down 39 pounds. I've had ups and downs, but I don't beat myself up, (too much), and I move on.

It does get easier, the first 4 weeks were rough, but it did get easier. But I do have my off days. No one is perfect. I am compulsive shopper, how I deal with that is if I see something I want, I put it in the cart and walk around for 15 minutes, if I still want it, I get it. You wouldn't believe how many times I put it back. I do that with food in theory too. Some days I want to eat everything, so I start thinking about what I want, I'm usually walking when I do this. I try to plan it into a meal with a treat. I roll a whole lot of ideas around in my head and usually when I get to the 30 minutes part of my walk, I decide on what I really want as a treat. Usually by that point, the compulsive part has died a little, and I can pick out something a little less damaging. Once in awhile, I let myself have a treat (lately it's been once a week). I buy one serving, otherwise I'll go back to it and eat more. If I give myself time to think it out, I make better decisions.

Don't deprive yourself completely, give yourself something to look forward to. Though you might find there are some things it's better to stay away from.

I eat within 30 minutes of getting up, I have a small morning snack, lunch, small afternoon snack, dinner, small evening snack. I find when I eat all of these meals and snacks, I don't have as many cravings and I'm not as prone to getting the hungries. When i skip a meal or two, that's when I'm more apt to want to binge.

I do drink my cup of coffee every morning, and I put real organic sugar in it. No fake stuff. I'm dairy intolerant and it has to have something. I've lost 39 pounds in 3 months, so a little hasn't hurt me, and it gives me something to look forward to when I get up in the morning. Then I drink lots of water all day. It's a juggling act to figure out what will work for you, just don't give up.

[Scyllafirefox]

everytime i see myself in the mirror that always encourage me to get fit. I think thats the answer we all waiting for.. MIRROR

[Punkynn01]

Yes!!!!

Sounds simple but it's true.  There are many people that tend to have blinders on...or they just avoid mirrors.  They also tend to avoid cameras.  This keeps them from having to take account of their lives and their eating mistakes.  It is so true that what you eat in private you wear in public.  If you refuse to really look in the mirror then you are not realizing what you are doing to your body.  

It's all about being aware and accountable and staying in check. 

[I-train-hard]

 Mirrors are reality check.

I use it every Sunday when I do my routine measures and weight check.

You can’t lie to yourself. What you see is real, no B/S

[OldNFit]

I agree the mirror can be a useful tool in staying focused on weight loss.

[OldNFit]

There are a lot of good responses on this thread and I mine is in line with a lot of them.

list out the negative consequences of your current weight. list out what you think will be the positive effects of weight loss. Keep these in mind as often as possible.

Tom Venuto has some good tips on this. you can search the web and listen to some interviews of him. He gives away a lot of useful info. Be clear on what your goal(s) is/are and keep them in mind as often as possible.

You are trying to move away from behaviors that are not getting you where you want to be. Don't think of yourself as deprived when you chose not to engage in those unhelpful behaviors; look forward to the new behaviors and rewards (feeling better in your body, clothes shopping, etc).

If you are tempted by a treat like dessert, just have one bite. Every bite will taste the same as the first, so there is no need to have more than one bite.

I have found that the physiology of weight loss is simple, but the execution is very challenging. I really have to work hard to move my mindset and thoughts into more helpful neural "grooves".

A healthy weight is one of the best gifts I can give myself and is more enjoyable than a few moments of taste pleasure of something in my mouth. Good Luck!

[I-train-hard]

Do you know anyone who stopped chocolate cake (desert) after one bite?

I wouldn’t, couldn’t… its looks soooo gooooddddd.

[OldNFit]

We eat desserts because they taste good, you experience that taste in one bite. If you are going to have more than one bite, how many bites do you have? some arbitrary serving size?

It is better not to have the chocolate cake as it has no nutritional value (except forcalories if you are emaciated) and the refined carbs are actually toxic to your system. But if I am in a social situation where everyone is having a serving and I am feeling deprived, I will ask my husband for a bite. Then I am done, I have experienced the taste that I see all the others around me experiencing. I remind myself that another bite or bites will only set me back on my progress.

[USAF-Larry]

Yep, the mirror keeps us focused...

[Punkynn01]

I'm going to begin by saying...I know this is long...but I trulymean every word and hope that it's an encouragement for someone.

I have been thinking a lot about this post since I first replied.  

Honestly...I want to be upbeat and build those up who are not at the point that I have gotten to. (I still struggle at times)

I can remember being at the beginning of my journey and posting something a lot like this discussion and having some replies that just really cut me to the center of my being. Some people can be brutally honest. They tend to forget how hard it is in the beginning.  I can remember how it made me feel. I was determined to not let anything derail my goals,...but had I not had that mindset I could have easily allowed it to bring me down.

Those who have never experienced being overweight or obese can't truly understand how it feels.  

When you are at the beginning it can be incredibly overwhelming and frustrating.  On a good week when you lose weight you are on top of the world....but, have a bad week where you either don't lose or actually gain and it can really make you second guess why you are doing it at all. 

So....

Here are some of the things that helped me along the way.

1.  Do what you are already doing.  Come in and read forums and post discussions.

I know it sounds simple...but its one of many non diet, non exercise habits that you can

do to help your weight loss.  If you keep yourself in that mindset you are less likely to cheat.

make it a daily priority just like checking email.  

2.  Encourage others.  

 Again...this can be done on here...or in your daily communications with people around you.  If you

are an encouraging force with the people around you it can have a really positive effect. It's just like

that experiment that someone did with smiling. Just one smile can change someone's day. Smiles are

contagious. Think about your worst day...if you are struggling with your diet and exercise and feel like         giving up....and someone in passing compliments you.

"Oh...you look nice today" or "wow that color looks great on you" 

These simple gestures can make someone feel better.  But, be honest and mean it. I try to just be

aware of the people around me. I don't just make something up.  On a daily basis we think millions

of thoughts but rarely voice them. If it's a positive thought about someone, then voice it.  

3.    Join Tumblr.com.  

There are sooooo many "fitblr" tumblrs out there!  

Pinterest is another place that you can find encouragement.

When I need to be inspired I will go in and make a post...vent...look at before and after

success stories.  I go in to the health and fitness catagory of Pinterest and find all kinds of 

encouraging stories, pictures, memes, etc...

When I am at the end of my work day and I know that my workout time is getting close I go into

pump or psych mode.  I go on these different sites and pump myself up.

4.    Make small goals

Tell yourself..."I will do one mile"  When you don't want to workout.  You don't have to run...just walk.

Sometimes the fact that you have been still or inactive for most of your day can make you feel sluggish. Sometimes its all in your head.  I find that telling myself..."It's just a mile" will get me out

the door.  Once I get through that mile it's like a warm up and I ALWAYS end up doing more.

But, as the end of your mile if you are still feeling bad...then you can say...I got off my rear and I

did something.  I got my heartrate up..I burned a few calories...and I will do better tomorrow.

5.    Make and Recognize non scale goals

There are so many other things that you are to be proud of that have nothing to do with the scale.

The feeling of accomplishement.

Your clothes going from tight to comfortable.

Others noticing a change.

Going X amount of time without a Soda or candy, sugar, etc.

Going X amount of days that you have worked out without a day off.

Losing inches. 

7.    Make a reward Jar.

Decorate a mason jar and glue the lid down so that you can't dip into it.  Put a small cut in the top                 where you can put coins or paper money in it.   Every time you have a  craving and don't act on it, take the amount you would have spent on that meal or treat and put it in the jar.  Some people actually put a monetary amount on their cravings instead of the actual price of purchasing it.  For some a chocolate bar can be so hard to turn down.  They consider it worth more than the actual price of the candy bar to turn it down. I had a friend actually refuse to eat cake at her own birthday party.  She gave herself $20 as a reward for not eating cake.  Continue to do this until you can't fit anything more in the jar. Then take it outside and have a smashing party. Take that money and spend it on a NON FOOD reward.  If you are passing up all those temptations then more than likely you will have lost some weight. Buy youself a new shirt or outfit. This way you're actually wearing your trophy/reward!

 8.    Don't let one bad meal, day, snack derail you.

I have seen so many people do this...and am guilty of it myself.  If you screw up...and you will, don't 

let that totally derail you.  It's not that bad.  Remember...it takes an additional 3500 calories over your

maintenance to actually gain a pound.  If you have a bad day it's not the end of the world...it's only 

1 out of millions of days that you are going to live!  That one cheat is not a bomb waiting to blow up.  

You will be ok.  Put it in the past and move on.  

9.     Remember...it's not one big thing.  

It's a million little changes that will give you success.

10.    Work up to your hard workouts. 

I see so many make the mistake of coming out of the gate hitting their workouts way too hard.

They will start on Monday and kill themselves because they are so pumped.  Tuesday morning they

wake up and hurt so bad that they don't want to workout again.  I have found that if I start out slow 

and make my hardest workout at the end of the week...I have the weekend to recover.  

Pace yourself...it's a marathon...not a sprint.

 11.    There are no "Mondays"

How many of us have heard or said this phrase?..."I'm starting my diet/exercise on Monday."

Stop doing that.  You need to start at the point that you have decided to do something.  Many times 

you will say this...then have a crazy weekend...because you feel like it's your last Hoorah.  This 

typically causes those to eat like it's their last meal...then they consume so many extra calories that           it makes it that much harder to start on that Monday. They hit it hard...then quit and it becomes this 

horrible cycle. When you feel inspired...get up right then and walk a mile...do jumping                                   jacks...whatever...just move. 

12.    Buy workout clothes

Sometimes it's something as simple as a new pair of running tights or tank/shirt that will inspire you

to get up and workout.  being comfortable when you workout can make the exercise much better.  

When you look good you feel good.  I tend to wear a lot of workout apparal on my downtime. This

way I am ready for that moment of inspiration.  There isn't the excuse of..."well, I would have to 

get ready."

13.    Change things up

Don't limit yourself.  If you get bored try something new.  It doesn't matter how you burn calories as 

long as you burn calories.  I am a runner...but there are days when I just don't feel like it.  I will dig

out an exercise tape...go online and browse Youtube for videos and try something new.  Many 

places will allow you to try before you buy when it comes to aerobics.  If you check out your local 

gyms many of them offer their first class free.  Once a week try a different workout.  Keep it fun and 

interesting.

14.   Surround yourself with like minded people.

When you try new things you are bound to meet many people who are going through the same 

things. Be around them as much as possible.  Be each other's encouragement.  If I'm around 

someone who is eating healthy and making healthy choices I tend to do also.

15.    Take pictures.

 When I was heavy I avoided the camera.  Take those dreaded before pictures. You will be glad you

did.  I wish I would have had more before pictures.  A picture can be a much better judge of your

accomplishment.  Many times we tone up or gain muscle and look much smaller than the number 

on the scale.

16.     Plateaus

I have hit MANY plateaus over the past 4.5 years.  There were times when I broke down and

cried.  Many of these tips kept me going.  The one thing that was my matra through it all was...

"You are better today than you were then,...Even if you never lost another lb you know that you are 

healthier, look and feel better and are a better person...you can't go back"  Remeber the person

you were before you lost the weight.  That person would give anything to be the person you are                 now.  I can remember being a size 20 and thinking, "What I wouldn't give to be a size 14!!!"

I am now a size 10 and I have to remind myself that I have surpassed my original goal.  I'm better

than I ever even dared myself to be in the beginning.  My past self would be kicking me right now for           being down about the size that I am. 

17.     What you eat in private you wear in public

This is SO TRUE. Don't allow yourself to eat in private.  You tend to cheat when you hide away 

when you eat. Out of site out of mind can make you think that if no one sees you eating it then

it didn't happen...Well, it did and it's showing on your body!

18.      Be prepared

Plan ahead.  Look up calories on websites of the restaurants. Many places post them now.

If you are aware of things it's easier to enjoy your night out and you don't have to sit there and

worry about everything you put in your mouth.  Many times if you know that, that enticing brownie is

over 800 calories you are less willing to endulge.   I always look at it this way...I would have to run 8           miles to work it off...is it really worth that?  Heck no!!!! If I'm running 8 miles I want it to be to make

progress not to burn off a brownie!!!

I know this is a lot...but there were times when I truly needed encouragement.  Some of these tips were things that REALLY got me through the hard times. A simple phrase, gesture, meme, email, comment, idea or compliment can sometimes make a big difference.  

Good luck and stay the course. 

[I-train-hard]

USAF-Larry - good one!!! 

[krazyk86]

One thing I use as motivation is the text on my shoe laces. The first thing I noticed on the shoes when I looked at them was the text on the shoe laces. One lace said DIG, the other said DEEP. DIG DEEP. I know that's just the brands motto, but it really got to me. I guess it souns kinda weird, but when I think about those words when I am sweaty and tired on a run, they help me keep going.

Also, one time my dad was talking to me about sports, and he was talking about how a lot of people in his family had speed, endurance and the will to keep going. He said that they all had that boost to keep going. He said that I had that push or boost. And that's what keeps me going up Mt. Misery or down a seemingly endless road. What simple things keep you going?

[mcruane]

Here is my motto. Eat an apple. If the apple doesn't seem like something you want to eat, then you aren't hungry. 

[naty_silvaje]

I just tell myself six times a week that working out isn't an option, I must do it for my health. 

I naturally have a slow metabolism and different diseases run in my family but I work very hard so that I can pass on healthiness to my offspring lol ( in the future). 

Don't give yourself that option, and make the step out the door. Even if you aren't feeling it that day just walk, or ride a bike, or lift light weights but remember our bodies were meant to be in motion 

🙂

good luck

p.s. i reccomend adding your friends on fit bit. My friends are extremely active and we partake in competitions that make me constantly be on the move. Instead of taking the elevators, I'll take the stairs. Instead of taking shortcuts around the university, I intentionally take the longest way possible!