just want some encouragement

[kfried]

Hi! I'm Kenzie, I'm 13 years old and I weigh 170.8 pounds. My family has always been overweight, even my stepdad. We all know this, and we've all tried, just not hard enough. I have given up all soda, but my family hasn't and I'm scared for their health. I just want to lose weight fast, because all my friends are skinny, pretty and own bikinis. I want to be able to walk around in a bikini and be proud. So any advice on how to lose weight fast, would be great!! 

Thanks ❤️

[staygold727]

Hi Kenzie! I'm so glad to hear that you're taking steps to a healthier life style. Please don't compare yourself to your friends. I know it's extremely hard especially at your age. I remembered when I was your age, I would live and breathe my friends 24/7. I wanted to be cool and accepted. You are unique and beautiful just the way you are. Losing weight takes time and patience. It took me a whole year to lose 40 lbs at the age of 28. I started off by taking baby steps. I cut out junk food and fast food out of my diet. Also, I exercise 30-45mins 3-4 times a weeks. I know you can do it, just keep moving 🙂

[Macsfarm]

You've got this Kenzie! It's just becoming aware of what foods are good for you & whats not... just like the soda & your family. Eat healty & try to cut out most sugar. My only other advice is to go slow. When I was your age I could lose weight but if I did it too quickly I would lose a lot but gain it all back plus more. After years of doing this I got heavy. I'm now losing (again) with the help of my fitbit. Use your Fitbit, increase steps & if you eat 500 less calories than you burn ~ you can lose 1 lb a week. Your Fitbit will tell you how many calories you have left. If I want more to eat I get out & walk more. Remember to be you. Don't try to be someone else. You're perfect & loved.

[Esya]

Hi Kenzie, as the others said, go slow. You are 13, so most likely you are still growing. That means your weight loss might be even more slow than for an adult person. Staying the same weight while growing also means you are getting more slim. If you go on a diet to lose weight fast, it typically gets back on when the diet is over. Try to make healthy choices that you can keep up with (like cutting the soda), so you create a new healthy lifestyle that can serve you for the rest of your life.

[Dominique]

You’ve already got some great answers regarding eating. I also agree that fast isn’t the best approach. I’ll add something about the importance of being active. I guess one reason you got a Fitbit is you recognized you need to move more (that’s how many of us got started), which is good. So make sure you consistently hit these 10k steps (or whatever goal you’ve set), either every day, or at least on a weekly basis (when watching the 7-day average). Being active is important not only for weight management, but also for improving your health. Also get enough quality sleep!

[vineviz]

Kenzie, it seems like you have a great approach to this problem.

It is natural to worry about your family, but remember that there is only one person in the world whose behavior you will ever be able to control: that's you.

Your first steps sound perfect: cutting down on foods with lots of empty calories (like soda, candy, chips, and fast food) is a great first step.

I agree that being as active as you can be is also important.  Look for every opportunity during the day to get a few more steps: use the bathroom upstairs at school instead of the closest one; go for a walk around the neighborhood while listening to YouTube or Spotify; even just standing up instead of sitting can help burn calories and keep your heart rate up.

Mostly, don't lose hope. We all have days where we goof up: I'll eat too much or sit around too long.  But every day is a day to try again.

[MagsOnTheBeach]

Hi Kenzie!

My daughter is your age, so your message hit my heart!  You made a great step in no longer having soda, even diet soda isn't a good habit.  See if your school has a sports team that is positive (for my daughter's school it is track), I am going to suggest you check it out.  The try out is just to see where you are but everyone makes the team.  The goals then are to work for YOUR personal best.  Sometimes kids don't compete, they just train with the team.  Being active outside of PE does a lot for your brain, it helps it to be more positive and helps you focus on school work and you learn to enjoy being physical.

You might try to make sure you have 2 whole fruits a day (apples instead of applesauce), and fill half your plate with vegetables at lunch and dinner.  If you don't like a vegetable, keep trying it, you'll find your tastebuds will change the more you try something.  

Sometimes change scares parents, so make sure if you don't get support at home for changing eating habits, you have support in a good friend.  Don't rush it, your body is young and yours forever - be kind to it.  Just make a couple changes here and there and it will work out.

Finally - go try on bikinis.  They come in all sizes and types.  Being 170 does not mean you can't wear one, you just need to find one that makes you feel comfortable. My daughter has worn one since she was a toddler and she is very modest so she often wear swim shorts over the bottoms.  It's a cute sporty look.  

[Syty]

Hello Kenzie,

First and most important thing I want to say is be proud.  You don’t have to want to, just be proud.  You are at a young age and obviously have a goal in mind with enough courage to ask for advice.  In my world being aware and seeking advice whether it be for fitness or business is something most people don’t have in them.  You do so bravo!

Second thing is on your family.  The best way to help someone sometimes is to inspire them through your actions.  Encourage them, yes, but don’t push it on them.  Show them it’s possible and you’ll get at least one of them on board. 

My advice on fitness however is going to go against your wish to ‘lose weight fast’.  Many ways to lose weight fast, but none are healthy and you’ll be overweight again before you graduate.  You are 13 and your body is in for a ride for the next few years.  You are adding pressure and stress to yourself over something that doesn’t matter that much.  I know it matters to you, but that alone is progress.  My advice is to follow what everyone said here and eat right by cutting out soda’s, candy bars and the school lunch chocolate chip cookie.  Even juices in some cases.  I will assume you are a smart girl, but in case someone hasn’t told you…  Most things in the grocery store with big letters telling you how healthy they are for you are loaded with sugars and sodium.  Learn as much as you can about what people mean when they say “eat right”.  If you do this all the time you don’t absolutely have to avoid the popcorn or treats on rare occasions when hanging with friends.  Don’t make yourself miserable, but be smart about it.

More importantly do something we call remembering the future...

Take a few minutes, close your eyes and imagine yourself at 15.  Remember what it was like when you were 15?  Exactly… do this.  Don’t make up some fantasy world, simply relax and picture yourself at 15.  Where are you, what do you look like, what are you doing.  This will help you understand what you truly want as far as fitness, activities in High School you desire doing, etc….  That should be your goal; not next month.  You’ll be healthier for it, be able to maintain it throughout your life and if you are like me you’ll have kept every fitness graph from apps so that you can analyze for yourself and tell your story to others for motivation. 

I have a son who is 17 and going off to the Army soon.  Throughout his teenage years he wasn’t much overweight, but mainly just unfit.  I’d have to throw him out of the house on nice summer days and we have pool.  When he was about 15 we did this and he decided that he not only wanted to go to the military, but that he wanted to be an Army Ranger.  I won’t type up their requirements, but it isn’t something that you just go do.  He realized it and set a 2 yr goal.  Today I work out with him every day and we eat smart and he out runs / out lifts me.  I struggle to keep up with my once lazy child.  I share this only to say longer goals at a steady pace is how you properly get where you want to go. 

Stay active throughout the day rather than workout an hour per night.  Set hourly goals or even morning, afternoon and evening goals for steps or light exercise, etc…  Concentrate on eating right vs eating less.  You are growing so you need the calories.  Track your food and aim for something such as a 500 calorie deficit.  You’ll be 120lbs a year from now and you’ll see the transformation throughout the year.  You’ll be 14 and then you can remember 16, reevaluate, and go after it. 

Lastly as I stated first… Be proud.  I know 13 years on this earth seems like a long time, but I’ve been here for 40 and I am far from the person I was 13 years ago let alone when I was 13.  Pace yourself and recognize that it is your awareness and ability to set goals and go after them that makes you far better off than most 13 yr olds. 

[Kunosura]

Small steps. It's good to be thinking about overall health but at 13 you're not at a place where you can completely control your environment. Think about the habits that got you to the weight you're at. Does your family eat out a lot? Look up the calories online and order something less caloric than what you previously ordered. Restaurants? Same thing Don't feel the need to finish everything you can get to-go boxes, and salads are sometimes more calorie dense than burgers. When you eat at home is everyone eating the same size portions? Likely you don't need as much, so see if you can get smaller portion. Do you go back for seconds? Wait 20-30min after your first helping to see if you're still hungry. Don't drink your calories if you can help it. Water, unsweet tea, that sort of thing. Does your family sit around and snack together while watching tv/netflix? Check the calories/portion size and get your own bowl and stick to that. 

Think of little things that can get you moving. Exercise is nice but just generally being up and about can be nice. Walk places or ride a bike if they're close enough. Help clean up around the house, while not an insane calorie burn your parents will appreciate it. Extra bonus you'll be in the habit when you're out on your own. You can also ask if you can help a little with the cooking occasionally and try making cheap healthy meals (roast chicken and vegetables for example). Again cooking is important when you're on your own or your parents are feeling under the weather. 

You're also at a good point to be thinking about this sort of thing. At 13 your body is still growing so your deficit doesn't need to be as large as if you were older, growing takes a lot of energy. Lose weight sure, but don't short yourself on nutrients. Don't feel the need to lose weight quickly, sure you noticing it now but it didn't show up overnight, don't expect to lose it overnight. Losing too quickly will likely set you up for rebound when you get frustrated and you'll go back to old habits. Work slowly to establish new habits. When you're the weight you want to be don't think you're done, you can't go back to what you were doing before and expect to maintain, follow through with everything you learned on your journey and just fiddle with your calories until you maintain.