"Doing the same things, but expecting different results" Help!

[pixelheap]

For four years now I have been "dieting". I have lost zero. pounds. Here is my day:

Wake up, feel great, sensible breakfast.

Lunchtime, feel great, sensible lunch.

I go for a walk. Hey, this is easy.

Night time, dinner can be good, can be not good.

After my kids go to sleep it's open season. Even after a day of good choices I talk myself into "starting tomorrow with the diet", even though that's what I've been doing for literally four years.

I'm so frustrated by failure. It's constant. Literally every day. I can't even make it a week without beer or something. I just want to START. 

Anyone else going through this?

[cylon]

I've been there.  It took me over two years to figure out exactly what was driving my desire to loose weight.  I wanted it long before i had kids, but my kids really kept me focuses.  Setting a good example helps push me through my ice cream cravings. 

I changed my options to help out with the same situation.  No junk food/processed foods in the house. Sure i have treats for the kids now, but in the beginning it was fruits and vegetables.  Wonder why my son LOVES Apples? 

I definetly have several beers a week, but i try to cycle those with my most active days.  

Good Luck

[pixelheap]

Good idea with the beer. I mean, I have drank a lot in the past, and I still feel myself being pulled that way, which is another issue altogether (though maybe not). I just need to say no and have that be it. I can say no all day long at work to snacks and stuff, but I get home at night and it's on! haha. STOP THE INSANITY! *end susan powter*

[HelenaFitbit]

How about going for the walk or workout at home after your kids are put to bed? That way your cravings are being taken care of with exercise. 

[pixelheap]

Good idea! I will have to throw that into the arsenal. I'm so easily swayed (even by my own thoughts) it's obnoxious. I just need to man up a little.

[cokeypokey]

well, I have done this over and over and over and over again.  But using a sports analogy, if your gameplan isn't working...change it.  So now I use my fitbit and the dashboard to help me keep on track.  I started going to a Crossfit gym and I love the support and team atmosphere. I'm older than most. But I am getting more fit everyday.  I walk into that gym and I never know what I'm going to do for 45 minutes.  You might check that out.  I love it and I hate it too. But it makes me think twice at night about ordering a pizza because I don't want to be lugging all this weight around, doing crossfit.  Anyway, that's my two cents.  But don't beat yourself up, that doesn't work.

[pixelheap]

Thanks cokey!

That's a biggie, I beat myself up. Not that it changes my behavior, which again: Why keep doing things that aren't working.

I've lost weight 3 times and gained back 3 times. I suppose I'm having trouble imagining this working. Just self esteem. Need to definitely change my approach!

[Heybales]

Perhaps you are attempting such a huge deficit that it is making adherence unrealistic.

Like - if you had been losing 1/2 lb weekly through that whole time eating a mere 250 calories less than originally eating (obviously that amount goes down as you weigh less though, unless you compensate by doing more) - where would your weight loss be at this point.

And with only 250 less calories, you might easily get that beer in there, and a few other things, and have a big enough dinner you don't need to over-compensate later.

And for sure need to examine that late night stuff. There's a reason why there is a myth saying you shouldn't eat after a certain time for weight loss. For people that can't control themselves - that rule makes it easier. Then again, when they go off the diet at maintenance and stop the rule, back it comes.

Better to figure out why you do that. Bored, stressed, ect? Really work that out, think of substitutes for the food that relieves the real reason, not the symptom.

[Raviv]

I was thinking the same thing - maybe your restriction during the day is too much, and that's making your cravings at night harder to control.

One trick that works well for me is to find a snack I love and reserve it for nighttime.  I know exactly how many calories it is, and I reserve that amount for nightime.  When I go upstairs at night, I bring it up there with me and put it on the nightstand next to my bed.  Then I get all ready for bed.  Some nights, I'm really craving at and it doesn't sit there for more than a few minutes.  Other nights, I honestly forget it's there.  Either way, I've already made room for it in my calories count, so it's not a bad thing.

I'm not a fan of eating late at night (I go to bed pretty early anyway) and especially not carbs, but if the alternative is binging on carbs anyway, at least this reins it in a bit.

Another trick is to do things that make your mind think "treat" while being completely healthy.  Berries are my secret weapon for that.  Throw 5 or 6 frozen berries into a glass of water.  Not only do they keep your water cold longer, they make you feel like you're indulging a tiny bit, they slowly infuse your water with berry juice, and at the end, you get to eat them (they thaw quickly).  Or warm up some apple slices with cinnamon sprinkled on top.  Really good for you, but feels like apple pie.

[HelenaFitbit]

That is a great tip @Raviv! I am also positively jealous that you are an early sleeper 

[Raviv]

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@helenarriaza wrote:

That is a great tip @Raviv! I am also positively jealous that you are an early sleeper 

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I used to have to be at work at 6am, and now that I have regular office hours, I still can't seem to change my bedtime!

[DominicJ]

If I buy beer, I drink beer, so I dont buy beer

The same goes for nachos, chocloate, crisps, bread, ect.

[youngWerther]

I start my day (and counting) at 9 p.m., maybe 7 p.m. is more apropriate.  Annyway this allows to finish the 'day' with a meal and that gives me more control, as the evening is already tomorrow.

[Prev]

I find the key is to do something else, whether working out, playing a videogame or even going to sleep. If you have been reasonably active and eaten well that day, literally anything other than eating a pizza is a good idea. Even if it's just going to bed early.