starting and overwhelmed

[terryrunning]

I have been very overweight all my life and I have dieted too many times and always gained more back.  I am trying to do it differently this time, but between exercise, water, figuring out what to eat and not eat, logging, tracking - I am overwhelmed.  It was much easier to follow a diet but, I went on and I went off.  I put in long hours as it is, working and taking care of a family.  How do people do this???

I really need some help with getting started.  

Thanks.

[Bobbinyc · Accepted solution]

@terryrunning I think you need to catch your breath first and do some thinking.

Why do you want to lose weight now?  What is different than the other times?  Do you just think you should?  Did someone tell you to?  What motivates you?

Also, you need to decide how important this is to you.  We all want all kind of things.  Doing the hard work is different.  Is this just a wish?  A dream?  A goal?  Something you have to achieve?  

I think first you need to get a handle on the why and what it means to you.  Otherwise it can easily be one more failed attempt that leaves you heavier and feeling worse about yourself and your ability to do this.

Sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear.

Bobbi

[terryrunning]

@Bobbinyc  No, it isn't what I wanted to hear.  Looking for a quickand easy fix never worked before but made me lose time energy and money.  You are right, I always felt worse about myself after.  

I do want to do this.  I don't want to go through my whole life thinking of myself as the fat one.

[A_Lurker]

@terryrunning- over many years I dieted myself up to over 400 lbs.  I would jump on the latest 'lose weight fast' craze and lose a small amount of weight fast, then stop completely.  Eventually I couldn't keep it up and I would gain all the weight back, and then some.  Maybe a decade ago I actually got to the point of losing 100 lbs.  Now the catch was, I was following a low calorie, low fat diet and doing a ton of exercise.  I would have said I felt great until I started feeling tired.  I chalked it up to a busy schedule, but I was dieting and exercising myself into a serious illness.

After time in the hospital I held most of the weight off for a while, but no matter how well I was eating, I started gaining it back.  I managed to stop at one point a few years later and tried again.  I picked yet another diet and tried again.  I thought I understood what I needed, but once again, illness side tracked me.  I kind of picked up that I was actually burning way more calories than I thought, but I couldn't bring myself to eat enough to support the exercise again.

Up until this point my other health markers (sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol) were good, so I just ignored it.  I have a job where some days I can be on my feet a good part of the day so my weight just idled (about 50 pounds from my top weight).  Without dieting or paying attention I would swing between two weights.  Then in the fall of 2015 I was told my fasting blood sugars put me solidly in the diabetic range.  Pills were prescribed, controlling diet, etc.  I lost a little weight but the pills gave me horrible side effects.  In Feb 2016 I decided to seriously work on my weight and stop taking the pills.  I'd been wearing a Fitbit since Dec, but not really doing anything.  My home life was horribly stressful, and there simply wasn't anything I could do about that (caretaker for an aging parent with dementia).

It took me a while to convince myself to eat enough, but my history has shown me that my body doesn't respond well to undereating / over-exercising.  A little over a year later I'm over 100 lbs down, and my last blood test a few months back showed me back to the normal levels.

How did I do it?  I counted calories.  No fad diets, no radical changes.  Oh, over the year what I eat has changed, but not as much as you would think.  I really don't eat diet foods and I end my day with around 300 calories of pure junk food (well sometimes it's nuts and dried fruit).  Sometimes it's trail mix, but sometimes it is chocolate, or chips.  Now, I know myself so most of them are already pre-packaged.

Okay, so I typed a lot before I got to you.  I just wanted you to understand that I truly do get it.  Don't think of dieting, but finding a new lifestyle and way of eating that will help you become the best new you that you can be.  There are definitely some common things that all good eating plans contain:

less processed foods

more fruits and vegetables

lean meats (assuming you're not vegan or vegetarian)

some healthy fats

One thought is to spend the next few weeks being brutally honest about what you are currently eating.  Every bite.  Then take an honest look at it and decide are there things you can easily drop without a big deal (ie. coffee with cream&sugar, pop)

[OddLynn]

It's so easy to get overwhelmed when you're trying to get everything perfect but you're not striving for perfection here but a lifestyle. Meaning something you can live with. When I first went to Europe in 2011, I decided I was going to lose weight as I was already over 50 and needed to do so for myself and to be healthy overall. I've been on the diet thing too many times to count. I've tried every diet and done every sort of exercise out there. Each and every time, I'd lose a little then stop because I hadn't made the lifestyle change I needed to make.

In Europe, I decided I would do things one at a time. First, I'd get into the exercise routine by just walking. That's all I did and my goal was 10k steps a day. While that might not sound much, for someone who hadn't exercised consistently for years, it was hard. It took me about 6 months to get to consistently get those 10K a day. After that, I worked my what I ate and it wasn't that I ate bad, I didn't but I did have the tendency to eat too much of the good things. I made sure I had salad every day, I made sure I ate breakfast and I made sure I used portion control. 

Just modifying things one at a time worked and I lost 75 pounds. Unfortunately, I got sick and gained about half of it back. Once I came home to the States, I gained another 10 pounds back and now have only kept off the 25 pounds.

I'm back to starting again by going to make it to 10K steps every day, with my goal of a minimum of 5 days every week that I do the 10K. Last week, I had two days with over 10K and I'm maintaining most of my days over 5k. 

My point here is that you do things in baby steps until they become a habit. I do at least 30 minutes walking daily even if I don't get my 10K in. I watch what I eat daily and make sure I don't over eat, aiming to lose at least 1 pound a week. Making these things a priority for me, regardless of what I have to do for others, is important to my well being.

It's all about setting you as a priority and making sure you keep at it. Doesn't mean you won't stumble, it means you'll pick yourself back up and start all over again if you have to. Remember, you aren't looking to be perfect but creating a lifestyle that you can live with at least most of the time.

Hope this helps!

[smallerme]

Your replies have helped me also. I am newly diagnosed Pre-diabetic with Type 2 in my family.. don't want to medicate. I feel the same way- starting and overwhelmed!

[Esya]

I have never been in that position that I was really overweight or where it caused health issues, so in that respect I cannot say I walked a mile in your shoes. However, I still wanted to live healthier than I did and I am glad I made the changes. As @OddLynn said, 1 or 2 changes at a time until they become a habit and a part of your life where you don't have to think about them anymore. One of the first things I did was cutting out added/refined sugars. Getting a water bottle for work so I could easily drink a lot of water (if it is in front of me I will drink it) to replace the coffee that I no longer drank because of the sugar in it. Then I got a tracker that would vibrate to make me move for a bit every hour (I work a desk job and could easily sit for 3-4 hours straight, thinking to myself I really should get up). Starting yoga class, at first I could not get myself there every week and now I go twice a week most weeks. I have been doing this for a few years now and I am still making changes that improve my health. I never expected that I would stop drinking alcohol and be as active as I am, but by taking a step at a time the next step becomes that much smaller.

Try to break it down and start with changes that look reasonable and that you know you can maintain. Once you are comfortable go for the next one.

[Bobbinyc]

@terryrunning maybe you should start with a list of why you want to do this.  All of the reasons, even if they sound trivial.  It might help you stay focused.

[terryrunning]

I can't thank all of you enough.  This is so helpful.  I think I rush in too  much and overdo it.  Always looking for the quick and easy which never works.  I am going to make that list of reasons I want to lose weight now.  And keep in mind, maybe write down what you all have said.  

It is so special to not feel alone with this.

[TurquoiseTurtle]

When it comes to diet/weight loss/exercise, I am easily overwhelmed, and get burned out quickly.  That is the reason I always quit and gain it back.  I have to keep it simple.  I try to do 3 things every day. I eat healthy, get in my steps and exercise, and don't eat after 6pm (evening snacking is my downfall).  This works for me and keeps me from getting overwhelmed.  I don't track food, or water, or plan out special diet food (just keep it healthy).  Start off with simple changes, and don't overwhelm yourself! 

[Bobbinyc]

Apparently this has moved to another forum - Valentine's Day to April 18.  The conversation continues.