Received the comment below...and the thread was locked down preventing add'l comments/response...

[dsanville]

Apparently, 

"since they have already all the details and special tools to continue assisting you. I appreciate your understanding and look forward to getting you back on track" translates to sending me a customer survey about my closed case. I will assume that this is the response to my request to either get me some actual help, tell me to get lost, or replace the device. Fitbit picked option b., didn't communicate, and then prevented me from responding to their response...awesome!

"Thank you for your reply, @dsanville.

I am sorry to hear about your experience, I understand how you are feeling and appreciate your feedback as it helps us to keep improving. I've sent these details to our Support team and would encourage you to keep the communication via email since they have already all the details and special tools to continue assisting you. I appreciate your understanding and look forward to getting you back on track."

Let me know if you have any questions.

[JohnnyRow]

The moderators on here are not official Support people; they have no authority to issue replacements.  That means they forwarded your case to Support and expect they will be emailing you.  That sounds to me like a good thing for you - your case got escalated to the department that has the power to deal with it.