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Where Do You Get Your Willpower From??

Hi Guys and Gals 🙂

 

I have over 5 stone to lose - lost 10 pounds in a month and then put it all back on in a couple of weeks as my willpower disappeared and all I wanted to do was sit on the sofa and eat! So I did!

 

Sooo I need your help! Any tips on willpower and how to keep going? What do you do to continue, rather than giving up at the first hurdle? I need a kick up the bum!

 

Thanks 🙂

 

Kat x

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140 REPLIES 140

Hi @SunsetRunner

 

Don't restrict yourself from any foods, it's about changing food habits, restricting can lead to binge eating, rather than allowing any food with moderation.

 

When feeling (comfortably) satisfied, try honor your body not having more.. try basing portions on hunger, listening to your precious body if possible to know when having enough.. regardless of a food plan (the plan can say 'you have 800 calories left to eat', yet your body not needing more in the moment (it's possible to have eaten more previously than logged) and your body not being hungry yet..

 

Foods can also contain more calories than written on a package or less (impossible for us to know) though our bodies know without needing to write down with sending hunger / appetite signals.. or saying when eating 'you'll be force feeding me when eating that now'..

 

Close your eyes, tell to your inner self why you are doing (don't think about the weight loss), but to tell 'to become healthier, exercise not for calories burned but to become fitter..), trying not eating more than necessary.. (not eating out of boredom or loneliness but because your body actually needs it - being hungry)..

 

Change food habits gradually, so they take over from old habits automatically over time.. when eating when being hungry, honor your body not having more when not needing more.. your body knows and false craving / habits can fade & your precious body asking for nourishment when really being hungry instead of habits (eating for the television cause of habit, even if still feeling satisfied..)..

 

Don't eat to eat if possible, if your body wants for example some fruit, and nothing else than some fruit if not being really hungry, allow to have the fruit it's asking for.. instead of eating something else first just to eat, still wanting the piece of fruit, not really needing the other food anyway, perfectly feeling satisfied when having the fruit in the first place.. (eating less calories overall in the longer run)..

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I agree with alot of what @SunsetRunner said!

 

I eat what I want, just yesterday I ate a Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie. But I ate half and didn't over induldge. I eat pizza, chicken, tacos, all my favorites but I always stop when I'm full and never eat while watching TV. That seems to be the culprit to overeating for me. And if I want pizza or tacos I always try to make them at home since I know what i'm putting into my food. That makes me more accountable to my own self instead of following a possibly wrong nutrition label.

 

Honestly for me, my willpower was seeing my before pictures, I took tons of them naked, clothed, looked back at family photos of being very obese and miserable. Those were my motivation, everytime I felt like stuffing myself with unhealthy foods or skipping a day at the gym. Instead I focused on my high school pictures when I was in my prime body shape. Changing your food habits will be alot easier than changing your mind & spirit. You have to want this, you have to fight for it. It cannot come from anywhere other than deep inside you. I'm down 43 pounds and have 17 more to go 🙂 It has been the toughest thing I've done in my life but once I had that "Ah ha" moment I never second guessed my priorities.

 

Keep at it, keep working hard when you want to sit on the couch and snack on something go for a walk instead, pop in a workout dvd and do a quick set.

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I make 1 make one choice at a time. I will walk just this one mile, I will roller skate on adult night, I will park across the parking lot and walk to each store. If it is raining, I will find the biggest store and walk up and down each side of the aisle for at least 2000 steps.SIgn up for an event that is cheap and that I can walk the 5K or more. Example, Signing up for the Turkey Trot for Thanksgiving day, which is 5 miles, so I am trying to walk 5 miles a day, one mile at a time.

 

Well, first off, quit dieting as in deprivation. Honestly, the fat free foods are usually loaded with sugar and that will defeat you every time. Eat real food. If you eat bad for one meal, that is ok, just eat better for the next meal. It is not a mmoral sin so don't beat yourself up about it.

If you decide to not eat a certain Item, replace it with a healthy choice.

Unhealthy Chips-Good Chips

Sodas- Water, tea, coffee

Candy bars- almonds or  olives and a cheesestick and a piece of fruit

Back in Nov., I decided I didn't want to eat things like Cheetos, Doritos, Funjuns, all kind of potato chips if fried. I will eat baked chips but I try to stay around 3-5 grams of fat, exceptions is chips for dipping into salsa.

Also, If I did buy them, I had to call or message another friend of mine beforehand and that kept me honest. I did try a small pack of Doritos after 8 months and I discovered that the chemical coating on the chip didn't even have any flavor. I even tried sucking all of it off a few chips to make sure I wasn't imagining it, and I wasn't.

A month later, I decided to give up Sweetened Ice teas from McD's, at over 300 calories a drink, and I was drinking at least 2 a day, my heartburn decreased.

Start simple: choose a month and let go of sodas, including diet as the substitute "sugars" in them will actually make you crave more. I substitute the following for sodas: Sparkiling waters that do not have additives except for water, CO2, and Natural flavorings. If it has no flavoring, I add lemon juice or cranberry concentrate i.e. Knudsons and I sweeten with Stevia or Agave.

My favorite recipe is: 1 Liter of water, 1 Tbs Lemon or Lime Juice, 1 Tbs Cranberry Concentrate (unsweetened), 2 Tbs Agave.

I take part of the water and 2 bags of tea, make that and then add in the rest, drink throughout the day.

 

What I have found is prepping my food the night before. I use recipes from diet books but the only truly healthy one is the Zone diet as it is all about eating lots of food.

I started out with cook books like the Zone Diet by Dr Sears, good recipes that I just divide up into portions, freeze and then I don't have to think about it. Plus, he has list where you can just pick out something from each category and eat it.

For Example, My dinner tonight will be one whole can of no salt add Tongol Tuna, homemade mayo (Rocco Dispirato) & Sweet (Splenda) Relish, 1 head of lettuce, 1/2 a bag of Spinach, 1 small tomato, and I choose to add an avocado. Yes, All that for one meal, I will not be able to finish it all, but that is ok, as I can finish it up after roller skating for 2-3 hrs at the rink for a snack.

My other favorites are cookbooks by Rocco Dispirato Now Eat This! CAUTION: Do Not do the less than 900-1200 diet he has. IT is extreme and won't work in the long run, especially if you fall off the band wagon.

But I love the healthy recipes.

 

You can get free recipes from their websites to try out.

 

NEXT Month: getting rid of all the condiments in my house that have ANY corn syrup, not just High Fructose. Making all my condiments from scratch when possible.

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 It is simpler than most people think.

 

Ask yourself, what is that I really want to do? Go from that point forward. Most people will fail.

They have no vison, they don’t really know what they want and reality comes faster than they think.

 

Everyone writes their own reality…….yours would be? 

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@SunsetRunner  Are you totally overwhelmed by the responses?  I hope they are helpful.  I guess my thoughts went in a different direction.  I'm very familiar with the couch too.  For me, success starts in a different place.

I had to look at myself first, before looking at food and exercise.

I'd suggest spending some quiet time alone, maybe writing, maybe listening to quiet music, and just think about what is going on with you right now.  Has life been stressful?  Are you very sad or depressed?  Is this a good time to start dealing with your health or are you already overwhelmed?  Do you deserve to be healthier/more energetic/thinner/stronger/more vibrant?  What messages did you get and believe about your body, your looks and what you deserve?  Those are the kinds of things that trip us up every day.

I started there and then bought a notebook for my "health journey"

Page one - I listed all my reasons for losing weight and getting healthier.  I listed everything from looking good in a short dress to not getting sick to living longer...etc.  Some days it's about being full of life and some days it's about the jeans.  I gave it real thought.  Before I started I had to be very clear about what I wanted.  And what I was willing to do for it.  

We all want to be thin, rich, popular, etc.  But there is always a tradeoff.  I was offered a job that paid wonderfully when I was broke, but I didn't like the values of the place...so, I stayed poor awhile.  Choices. Is health your priority now?  Is it critical to you?  Do you deserve to get what you want?

If this is helpful, I'd be happy to tell you about page 2.   Smiley Happy

Spoiler
 
The activity that seems impossible today, will soon be your warm-up
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@Bobbinyc wrote:

@SunsetRunner  Are you totally overwhelmed by the responses?  I hope they are helpful.  I guess my thoughts went in a different direction.  I'm very familiar with the couch too.  For me, success starts in a different place.

I had to look at myself first, before looking at food and exercise.

I'd suggest spending some quiet time alone, maybe writing, maybe listening to quiet music, and just think about what is going on with you right now.  Has life been stressful?  Are you very sad or depressed?  Is this a good time to start dealing with your health or are you already overwhelmed?  Do you deserve to be healthier/more energetic/thinner/stronger/more vibrant?  What messages did you get and believe about your body, your looks and what you deserve?  Those are the kinds of things that trip us up every day.

I started there and then bought a notebook for my "health journey"

Page one - I listed all my reasons for losing weight and getting healthier.  I listed everything from looking good in a short dress to not getting sick to living longer...etc.  Some days it's about being full of life and some days it's about the jeans.  I gave it real thought.  Before I started I had to be very clear about what I wanted.  And what I was willing to do for it.  

We all want to be thin, rich, popular, etc.  But there is always a tradeoff.  I was offered a job that paid wonderfully when I was broke, but I didn't like the values of the place...so, I stayed poor awhile.  Choices. Is health your priority now?  Is it critical to you?  Do you deserve to get what you want?

If this is helpful, I'd be happy to tell you about page 2.   Smiley Happy

Spoiler
 


I found this helpful, what is page 2? Smiley Happy

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Willpower!  It's really about commitment, but its not something that flows evenly.  If you read my post on the inner dialog I have with myself, you may have some insight as to where willpower comes from.  It's a constant struggle.  I had similar inner dialogs going when I started my intermittent fasting.  In those cases I would say things to myself like the hunger pangs were actually my body digesting the fat and not hunger. 

 

Willpower is not something magical that some people have and some don't.  Everyone has it, but you have to chose to invoke it.  Willpower is about choices and choices are what puts us where we are today.  Every choice you've made in your life culminates in your current location. It's the same with dieting and exercise.  You chose to workout, you chose not to eat something, you chose to work harder, go faster.

 

Choice depends on weighing the consequences of your options and then deciding how badly we want or don't want certain outcomes.  The outcome of staying on your diet is less fat.  The outcome of going off your diet is the same or more fat.  Which do you want most?  Willpower is not about making the easiest decision, but about making the decision that's right for your goals.  You only have to understand how important your goal is to you!

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.”
― Isaac Asimov

“Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.”
― Benjamin Franklin
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@Bobbinyc  Great post, very wise.  Sounds like you have a well thought out plan and you really know what you are talking about.  Do you help others?  People pay for diet programs, going from one diet to another but you are getting to the deeper issues.  I know a lot of people who would pay to have that kind of emotional learning and guidance.  

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Would you say that self respect plays a part in motivation? We made a choice to lose weight and take better care of our bodies but somehow every temptation seems to be more important than what we really want. Abraham Lincoln said: "Self respect is the root of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself."
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I have found what works for me is to give myself less room to make excuses.

 

I hop on the treadmill for 20-30 mins in the morning before going to work. Yes - it's tempting to just stay in bed (instead of getting up at 5am), so if I think it might be a struggle the next morning I wear gym clothes to bed and I use walking sandals with velcro that take 5 seconds to put on. I can get up, sandals on and on the treadmill almost on autopilot - before my brain has time to be fully functioning.  If I get some exercise in at the start of the day, it doesn't matter as much if I don't do anything after work.

 

Have portion controlled "treats" on hand that you already know the calories for, and that if you have one you won't be cheating too bad - but that you will really enjoy if you eat it. I use Weis bars (not sure if they are available outside Australia). The ice cream ones are about 160 calories, the yoghurt ones are smaller and 80 calories - and there is absolutely nothing that feels "diet" about them. However, if I have one, or even two of the smaller ones, I can adjust my daily food without going over for the day.  Not everything has to look like a lettuce leaf.

 

Try not to get bored. In a lot of people boredom triggers eating (as your brain sees food as something that is going to make it happy, or give it something to do).

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You have made some really good points, Belinda. The boredom point is especially true...also sometimes we THINK we are hungry or getting a craving but we are really thirsty.
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I Keep Magnesium powder on hand for sugar and salt cravings as well as an alternative to gatorade/powerade.

For the ladies during certain times, when we crave chocolate or salt, our body actually needs magnesium.

My hubby works out hard and he gets this metallic malodourous smell to his skin and breath, literally coming out of his lungs. Dr said it was because he was dehydrated. We tried different electrolyte drinks, gatorade, and found that coconut water worked the best but not all the time and ultimately, we found that the magnesium powder worked the best.

AS far as needing to crunch, sometimes an apple can do the trick, cut up into chuncks, sprinkle with cinnomon and ginger and sweetner mix, chew completely.

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I like the "keeping treats on hand", I am going to institute that more than I do now.

I keep nuts and applesauce on hand as well as cans of beans and tuna at work.

But I think I am going to bump that up a bit more especially at home.

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Just remember to have the treats in a "portion controlled" form. Don't let yourself loose on a whole tub of icecream or a whole block of chocolate  🙂

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I found out that I didn't need willpower when I changed my diet to good, nutritional foods. Once I got rid of the junk (sugar and wheat of any kind), my hunger disappeared and I all I wanted to do was move. My body did the work for me. When insulin is raging through you, all you want to do is sit and eat because it makes you tired and hungry. Once that's out of the way, its easy peasy.

When I go to eat something now, I always ask myself first, is this food going to feed me or my disease? I have a whole different outlook on food now. I respect it because of the power it has over health. I no longer see it as something for "entertainment". There is so many other things to entertain yourself with. There's a whole life out there. I never treat myself because I'm not a pet and neither is my poor pancreas.

But, just remember, the solution is getting that insulin down so you don't feel tired and hungry. Fighting your body all of the time is exhausting and won't give you lasting results.
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Don’t think in terms of willpower rather than better choice and consistency.

 

Consistency and portions makes that game a winning game.

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My mom and I were discussing food today, my dad was given some cookies and my mom took two small bites and was overwhelmed by the sweetness and grease. She and I have both noticed that when eating healthy and then eating something we used to think was great are usually a dissappointment b/c our taste buds have changed.

I have a hard time at restaurants to the point that I ask them to leave off or lightly season b/c they use so much salt.

Also One of my sisters introduced me to a great app, Calorie King, it is very useful when eating out.
Things they have listed heart healthy or healthy choice aren't always.
I learned that at TGIF, I am better off ordering the 6 oz sirloin with unseasoned steamed veggies. I take half of it home for lunch the next day. But even if you eat the whole thing, it is ok. I just have a small stomach.

I have also noticed that I tend to take smaller bites and chew longer, learning to savor the foods flavor instead of eating fast and not just eating for eating sake.
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If you have to use will power you're doing it wrong. Get yourself on a long term weight loss direction through changing bad habits and picking up good ones. There aren't many people that can keep weight off through willpower.

 

Suggestions:

 

1. Eat slower without distractions

2. Drink water with your meals to slow digestion

3. Eat more nutrition/fibre 

4. Reduce sugar intake (cakes, biscuits, fizzy drink, deserts, packaged foods.etc)

5. Reduce consumption of packaged/manufactured foods

6. Stop when you feel satisfied no matter how much food is left

 

I've lost 22 pounds doing these things. I stopped even trying for about 2 weeks and kept my weight stable without putting any back on. 

 

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Every post in this thread is both useful and right.

 

I have found that I need several things to turn my health around. You ask, how do you get the willpower? However good your intentions, you have actually got to want to do it. But once you make that one decision to change, other things can fall into place. Like food control, exercise and Fitbit.

 

Food control is important. As everyone has said that doesn't necessarily mean deprivation. Just be very aware of what goes in to your mouth. The more you are aware, the more you know (knowledge is power!), so the more you might be able to do about it. This is one of the things that I have found Fitbit to be essential for. Use the food logging app. 

 

Although your post, and therefore most of the replies are about food, my experience is that I can't do it without exercise as well. Walking is good (as has been said). If you want to work at home without equipment, the Seven Minute Workout is good. But what is the main motivator for me is the gym. It works on several levels. One is that exercising at a gym is addictive for many people. Yes, I know addictions may not be right (even healthy ones!), but it takes away the pressure of having to find motivation to go there. It's just part of my daily life. Also you'll (hopefully) find staff there that will show you what to do that's suitable for your current health situation. You can do as little or as much as you want. But by starting, you have established a benchmark that you will probably want to improve on. And the fitter you get, the more you can do.

 

I find that I couldn't do it without Fitbit. My HR and scales give me the information that I need to learn what is happening to my body. And these forums (as you know) are a wonderful source for support.

 

Good luck!

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